This morning when I went to take the compost out to our trash room down the hall, Kaia came out running after me to find me (she loves trash room visits. Take what you want from that). I emptied the compost into the bin and when we came out, our neighbor was coming back from a walk with her new six-month-old puppy. I think the dog is a dachshund; her name is Natasha. She is golden, long-bodied, skinny, low to the floor, and screaming with energy, literally. She was jumping nonstop and whimpering when she saw us, as that was her way of saying “hello” to us. Kaia usually loves dogs, but with this dog, given she was yapping away and jumping like crazy, Kaia kept a semi-safe distance and just admired her and kept smiling at her.

To be honest, while I generally do like dogs, I cannot stand this dog even though this was the first time I have actually laid eyes on her. Since the neighbor got this rat-dog, I’ve heard it yapping and shrieking nonstop throughout all hours of the day and night. I can hear the dog crying the clearest when I am either in our entryway hallway, or when I am in my bedroom, which I HATE; if only the sound didn’t travel so easily down from their unit.

On the walk to school in the morning, Kaia finally asked Chris the question I figured she would ask eventually: “Can I have a dog?”

Of course, Chris responded negatively to this.

“No dog!” he responded without hesitation. He hates dogs as domesticated pets. He does not want dogs around him, and he definitely wants no dog in his living space. He had said repeatedly, before Kaia was even born, that he didn’t care what his child wanted; there would never be any dogs around as long as he was alive.

While I enjoy dogs, I also have zero desire to own one. I don’t want the responsibility or the expense. I also just think that too many people care too much about their dogs/cats and prioritize them over human beings, which to me, makes zero sense. So it will be interesting to see if Kaia continues to ask for one and how she responds with the repeated “no” replies she gets.

I’ve been trying to make a more concerted effort to speak in Chinese as much as possible to Kaia. Even when I don’t always have the words, sometimes I’ll mix the English into the Chinese just to ensure she is hearing some Chinese. This morning, I explained to her in Chinese that from Tuesday to Friday of this week, I’d be going on a work trip to Las Vegas. I’ll be getting back late on Friday, so she likely won’t see me until Saturday morning. I told her she had to be very good, listen to Daddy, and listen to her teachers. I also told her to eat well while I was gone. She did her contemplative look and didn’t say much for a few seconds, likely taking in everything that I said.

“But I don’t want Mummy to go to work,” Kaia insisted, pulling on my arm. “I want Mummy to stay here with me.”

I told her that I had to go for work, but that I’ll miss her and will come back as soon as work is done.

“I don’t want Mummy to go,” she said again. “You’re going on an airplane? I want to come!”

I said she couldn’t come on this trip because this is a work trip, and Kaia doesn’t work.

“Mummy goes to work, so Kaia can go to work, too! Can I come to work with you?” Kaia said, giggling with glee.

It’s usually like this where I speak in Chinese: she responds back in English, showing she understood what I said. Sometimes, she will say a few phrases in response in Chinese. Other times, she will mix the English and Chinese. Either way, I know she knows what I am saying even when she responds back in English.

Then Kaia hugged me, and declared confidently, “Mama yao hui lai (Mumma will come back)!”

Since Kaia’s bestie left her school last spring, she has definitely remembered him. We’ve seen him a few times since he’s left and moved to New Jersey. We’ve kept in touch with his parents, who have also been proactive about reaching out to us for potential play dates and get-togethers. They are probably the most proactive parents we’ve met when it comes to saying they will keep in touch — and actually doing it, unlike so many other parents of Kaia’s friends we’ve met. It’s nice to not always be the one reaching out all the time, so I appreciate this about Kaia’s bestie’s parents. They reached out several weeks ago to let us know they’d be in the city for a morning event, and checked in with us to see if we’d be free for a midday/afternoon catch-up. So given how cold it is outside, we invited them over for brunch and play date. We told Kaia about this ahead of time so she’d have something to look forward to this weekend. I already planned out my little menu and picked up some fun Lunar New Year treats to introduce them to. I even prepped ingredients to make no-sugar added, high fiber chocolate walnut date balls for the kids to enjoy. I also packed up a small bag of clothes Kaia had outgrown for her bestie’s little sister, who turned one this month.

Unfortunately early this morning, they reached out to let us know that their son woke up throwing up and was very ill, so we’d have to take a rain check on our play date/lunch. We were all disappointed, and Kaia was very, very sad. Though it was interesting to see how she reacted to it this time. She’s at this interesting crossroads in her baby-to-toddler development where she actually understands what it means when someone gets sick, and how that impacts her (as in, because her friend is not feeling well, she’s unable to see him). Much to our relief, she did not throw a tantrum, yell, or cry. Instead, she just looked at us, seemingly concerned, and kept repeating, “Jacob is not feeling well, so he can’t come over.” We then recorded her saying, “Feel better, Jacob!” and sent the video to his parents to show Jacob.

With little kids, you can have all the plans up the yin yang, but then all those plans can get thrown out the window once they come down with a fever, wake up throwing up, or break out into some mysterious coughing fit or rash. Instead, we made the most of the day and went to downtown Brooklyn for our annual visit to DeKalb Food Market. Kaia ended up having an extremely long nap of over 2.5 hours unexpectedly, but again, with kids, you can never always count on your plans working!

Next Wednesday, 29 January, marks the beginning of the Lunar New Year, the year of the wood snake. If you are in any Chinatown, Little Saigon, or related East Asia “town,” it will be pretty obvious this is a special time of year for these cultures when you see all the red lanterns, red envelopes, and Lunar New Year decorations all over walls and hanging everywhere. Given that Kaia’s school will be closed next Wednesday and Thursday, they held their Lunar New Year kids’ performance and lunch party at school today. The kids have been preparing for the performance since the new (Gregorian) year began. Parents and caregivers were invited for the performance as well as lunch (which we either were expected to bring food for, or donate $20 for). I booked my nearby co-working space to attend easily today and do early pickup.

They had the performances by class, so first the Pre-K (4s) class, then Kaia’s class, 3K, and finally, the 2s class. As cute as it was with most of the kids wearing red or traditional Chinese clothes, it was pretty even that across all three classes, only half (at best) of the kids were actually getting into the dance. The others either stood there, picked their noses, or covered their faces. At least they had fun music to listen to and got to see all of our smiling faces.

As for how Kaia did, she wanted to run to me immediately when she saw me, but the teacher motioned for her to go to her spot on the performance floor. When she did, she did a little dancing and twirling for the first half, then decided that she wanted to cover her eyes and face for the second half. I wasn’t sure if her left eye was actually irritated, or if she was just rebelling and didn’t want to participate anymore. Her bestie stood there the whole time, mugging at all of us in the audience, then started picking her nose.

Well, at least my kid wasn’t the one who just picked her nose up on stage, glaring at us.

There’s a lot of repetitive parts of parenting a young toddler. Not all the repetition is boring or annoying, though, as many people would assume. Some of the things we do on repeat are sweet, affectionate, quick moments that will remain in my mind as some of my most treasured moments. And this is one of them for me.

Sometimes, when Kaia is in a happy, affectionate mood, usually while we’re in bed reading before bed, I will hold her and say, “Who’s my sweet baby?”

She will immediately light up and break out into a huge grin. “Kaiaaaaa!” she will say in response.

“And who’s Pookie?” I will ask her.

Kaia: “Kaiaaaaaa!” she will excitedly yell back.

“Who’s Pookster?” I then ask her.

Kaia: “Ummmm, uhhhh. KAIAAAAAAA!!!!” she will giggle and squeal.

“And who’s Hoji?” I ask her.

Kaia: “Uhhh, uhhhh, KAIA!!!!!!” she keeps giggling and squealing. Then, she’ll bury her head into my neck or lap.

Kaia has so many nicknames, so many signs of love and affection. I hope she doesn’t ever forget how deeply she is loved not just by her dad and me, but by so many others.