Everyone says they want choices. Then when presented with too many choices, people get so overwhelmed by decision paralysis that they realize that they don’t want too many choices, but just enough to feel like they are actually choosing from an array of things. The last several months before heading off to school, we’ve really simplified Kaia’s first breakfast of the day (I say “first breakfast” because she gets a SECOND breakfast when she arrives at school!) so that it’s really just cereal: it’s Weetbix or (organic, Whole Foods brand) Cherrios, and occasionally she can have some toast with peanut butter. But I realized that I really want her eating oats more regularly as she used to, and not just in baked healthy muffins and cookies. So I started making my oat porridge fingers again with oats, peanut butter, flaxseed, and milk. She ate them for breakfast yesterday, but this morning, she got really mad when I presented them to her along with a cup of milk.

“I don’t want this!” she yelled. “I don’t want to eat oats today!”

I told her that mummy made them just for Kaia, so she should eat some for her brekkie.

“I WANT CHOICES!” she yelled back. “I DON’T WANT OATS! I DON’T WANT OATS!”

I always have to stifle a laugh whenever she goes into these little indignant outbursts. I want her to know I take her seriously, but at the same time, I cannot help but think how comical all of these situations are. If we went back to 3-year-old me, circa 1989, and I yelled at my mom like this, she easily would have just whacked me or slapped my face to get me to shut up. She would have hit me into submission until I ate every last bite of oats. But here, I ended up relenting with one other option: I asked her if she wanted toast with peanut butter. She said yes, and I went ahead and prepped that.

Who knows — maybe one day, when Kaia is in her 30s, she will be in therapy and recount the time when she was 3 years old, when her mom *almost* forced her into eating peanut butter oat porridge fingers. And she will discuss how that felt like traumatizing experience to her.

One of Chris’s friends gifted Kaia a Shadow Puppets version of The Little Prince. The way the “book” works is with big sheets of beautifully cut out scenes from the famous book The Little Prince that you hold up facing the ceiling with a flashlight (or your phone flashlight) under it. As you go through the scenes, you also either read the story or have the narrator read it via the pre-recorded story on their website. The idea behind it is to add variety to bedtime stories and also to encourage sleep.

The funny thing about doing this at Kaia’s age is that while she loves getting exposed to new things as a toddler, she gets very easily frustrated when she doesn’t “get” it right away. She seems to have perfectionist tendencies in this way. She tries to hold the puppets up vertically (which you’re not supposed to do), and then gets mad when she doesn’t see their perfect image show up in the light from my phone flashlight. I have to keep correcting her. Then she gets excited when she sees the image render. Then she holds the puppet up incorrectly the vertical way, and then the cycle continues.

I really like these shadow puppets myself and love making shadow images. But I think it’s going to take some time for Pookster to really embrace this and “get” it. After about 70 percent of the way through the story, she gets mad and says she doesn’t want it anymore. So, we end up moving on to her regular books and have to turn the light back on.

I’ve lost track of when, but years ago, Chris and I stopped celebrating or acknowledging Valentine’s Day. I think it’s far too commercialized. The number of flower and chocolate says just for the day itself is completely out of control (you should also see the premium it costs to have flowers delivered on the day of Valentine’s Day!!). And for people who are newly coupled or dating, the day comes with so much ridiculous pressure to prove one’s affection that it just seems pretty senseless to me.

But I will say that there is one sweet spot for Valentine’s Day, and that’s with arts and crafts, especially for kids. Years ago, I used to make and send/give Valentine’s Day cards to my friends; for me, it was just an excuse to be crafty and exercise my artsy side. At school, Kaia and her classmates made “love bugs” that they painted and decorated with different rhinestones; she was very excited by this. And today when I picked her up from school, she immediately wished me a happy Valentine’s Day and showed me some of the little gifts she got from her teachers and classmates. The teachers gave each child a “Smoochy” heart stuffed animal, along with some candy and chocolate. One of her classmates in another class gave her a little puzzle as a Valentine. I like the move away in schools from candy/sweets to cute little tokens like these. They seem a lot more creative, and well, it’s better for one’s dental hygiene, too.

When Chris got home as we were getting ready for dinner, Kaia immediately wished her dad “Happy Valentine’s Day!” And instead of giving his equivalent of an eye-roll, he warmly greeted her back and was pleased to hear these well wishes from his child. Maybe we can learn to semi-embrace Valentine’s Day again just for the fun and joy of our toddler.

When Kaia started daycare four blocks away when she was about 17 months old, she started showing a clear preference for her English kid songs versus her Chinese ones. Oftentimes, when I’d try to play the Chinese ones or sing them to her, she’d protest and demand “Wheels!” She did have one exception, though: She loved it when I sang the chorus for “Lao Shu Ai Da Mi” or “Mouse loves Big Rice.” That is technically not a Chinese nursery song, but apparently a song that is often used to teach people Chinese easily; the words are very straightforward, the meaning is cute, and the tune is catchy. I learned it during my second year of Mandarin in college.

Since September, Kaia has been in a Mandarin immersion 3K, so she’s had half English, half Chinese instruction. I’m still not clear exactly how much Chinese is spoken, taught, or emphasized, as sometimes the teaching can seem like a black hole here. We definitely do not have the same level of updates at this current school versus our last, but it’s hard to blame them given they are stretched thin here (and it’s publicly funded). But since January, they’ve been emphasizing and singing a lot of Chinese New Year songs, so Kaia’s been getting really into all her Chinese songs. She will sing them at home. She will ask me to play them. And she will even take out her Bao Bao Chinese song book and play the songs and sing along on her own, even ones she used to reject, like “Xiao Yanzi,” or “Little Swallow.” That’s honestly not my favorite song since it has a pretty sad tune, but it really made me so happy the other day when I saw her singing along to the songs in her Bao Bao book, completely on her own and without prompting. I couldn’t help but beam and see my sweet bilingual baby embrace her second language.

This morning when I went to take the compost out to our trash room down the hall, Kaia came out running after me to find me (she loves trash room visits. Take what you want from that). I emptied the compost into the bin and when we came out, our neighbor was coming back from a walk with her new six-month-old puppy. I think the dog is a dachshund; her name is Natasha. She is golden, long-bodied, skinny, low to the floor, and screaming with energy, literally. She was jumping nonstop and whimpering when she saw us, as that was her way of saying “hello” to us. Kaia usually loves dogs, but with this dog, given she was yapping away and jumping like crazy, Kaia kept a semi-safe distance and just admired her and kept smiling at her.

To be honest, while I generally do like dogs, I cannot stand this dog even though this was the first time I have actually laid eyes on her. Since the neighbor got this rat-dog, I’ve heard it yapping and shrieking nonstop throughout all hours of the day and night. I can hear the dog crying the clearest when I am either in our entryway hallway, or when I am in my bedroom, which I HATE; if only the sound didn’t travel so easily down from their unit.

On the walk to school in the morning, Kaia finally asked Chris the question I figured she would ask eventually: “Can I have a dog?”

Of course, Chris responded negatively to this.

“No dog!” he responded without hesitation. He hates dogs as domesticated pets. He does not want dogs around him, and he definitely wants no dog in his living space. He had said repeatedly, before Kaia was even born, that he didn’t care what his child wanted; there would never be any dogs around as long as he was alive.

While I enjoy dogs, I also have zero desire to own one. I don’t want the responsibility or the expense. I also just think that too many people care too much about their dogs/cats and prioritize them over human beings, which to me, makes zero sense. So it will be interesting to see if Kaia continues to ask for one and how she responds with the repeated “no” replies she gets.

I’ve been trying to make a more concerted effort to speak in Chinese as much as possible to Kaia. Even when I don’t always have the words, sometimes I’ll mix the English into the Chinese just to ensure she is hearing some Chinese. This morning, I explained to her in Chinese that from Tuesday to Friday of this week, I’d be going on a work trip to Las Vegas. I’ll be getting back late on Friday, so she likely won’t see me until Saturday morning. I told her she had to be very good, listen to Daddy, and listen to her teachers. I also told her to eat well while I was gone. She did her contemplative look and didn’t say much for a few seconds, likely taking in everything that I said.

“But I don’t want Mummy to go to work,” Kaia insisted, pulling on my arm. “I want Mummy to stay here with me.”

I told her that I had to go for work, but that I’ll miss her and will come back as soon as work is done.

“I don’t want Mummy to go,” she said again. “You’re going on an airplane? I want to come!”

I said she couldn’t come on this trip because this is a work trip, and Kaia doesn’t work.

“Mummy goes to work, so Kaia can go to work, too! Can I come to work with you?” Kaia said, giggling with glee.

It’s usually like this where I speak in Chinese: she responds back in English, showing she understood what I said. Sometimes, she will say a few phrases in response in Chinese. Other times, she will mix the English and Chinese. Either way, I know she knows what I am saying even when she responds back in English.

Then Kaia hugged me, and declared confidently, “Mama yao hui lai (Mumma will come back)!”

Since Kaia’s bestie left her school last spring, she has definitely remembered him. We’ve seen him a few times since he’s left and moved to New Jersey. We’ve kept in touch with his parents, who have also been proactive about reaching out to us for potential play dates and get-togethers. They are probably the most proactive parents we’ve met when it comes to saying they will keep in touch — and actually doing it, unlike so many other parents of Kaia’s friends we’ve met. It’s nice to not always be the one reaching out all the time, so I appreciate this about Kaia’s bestie’s parents. They reached out several weeks ago to let us know they’d be in the city for a morning event, and checked in with us to see if we’d be free for a midday/afternoon catch-up. So given how cold it is outside, we invited them over for brunch and play date. We told Kaia about this ahead of time so she’d have something to look forward to this weekend. I already planned out my little menu and picked up some fun Lunar New Year treats to introduce them to. I even prepped ingredients to make no-sugar added, high fiber chocolate walnut date balls for the kids to enjoy. I also packed up a small bag of clothes Kaia had outgrown for her bestie’s little sister, who turned one this month.

Unfortunately early this morning, they reached out to let us know that their son woke up throwing up and was very ill, so we’d have to take a rain check on our play date/lunch. We were all disappointed, and Kaia was very, very sad. Though it was interesting to see how she reacted to it this time. She’s at this interesting crossroads in her baby-to-toddler development where she actually understands what it means when someone gets sick, and how that impacts her (as in, because her friend is not feeling well, she’s unable to see him). Much to our relief, she did not throw a tantrum, yell, or cry. Instead, she just looked at us, seemingly concerned, and kept repeating, “Jacob is not feeling well, so he can’t come over.” We then recorded her saying, “Feel better, Jacob!” and sent the video to his parents to show Jacob.

With little kids, you can have all the plans up the yin yang, but then all those plans can get thrown out the window once they come down with a fever, wake up throwing up, or break out into some mysterious coughing fit or rash. Instead, we made the most of the day and went to downtown Brooklyn for our annual visit to DeKalb Food Market. Kaia ended up having an extremely long nap of over 2.5 hours unexpectedly, but again, with kids, you can never always count on your plans working!