Turning to TCM in an attempt to cure myself

Today marks four weeks of being sick. To be clear, I no longer am experiencing fevers, body aches, congestion/stuffy nose, but I am still suffering from a lingering cough, which still results in the occasional violent coughing fit that then leads to running to a toilet to either vomit up phlegm or what I had previously eaten. I still get choked up and my voice changes, or my breath is weird, so my voice sometimes sounds strange. Sometimes, it seems benign, like I literally just threw up my Theraflu that was honey-lemon flavored or my black tea. Other times, I have vomited up my entire dinner of chicken, rice, and soup. Regardless, it is never pleasant, and I usually feel like my eyeballs are about to burst from the sheer force of the vomiting. Because, as you probably are aware, food is meant to leave your body in one way and one way, only. When it comes out the way it came in, it’s generally not great for you.

So my mom got worried that I’d been coughing this long, so she insisted that she send some Chinese herbs for me to prepare a cough/lung tonic for myself. She sent this along with some dresses and gifts for Kaia. And I took a look at the herbs she sent and discussed instructions on how to prepare them over the phone. Then, I started referencing my Cantonese cookbook and some TCM websites for other “moistening the lungs” tonics I could make. On Sunday, I started brewing the tonics. At this point, I figure I have nothing to lose, and if nothing at all, these will still serve to hydrate me. Unlike some people, I do believe in some aspects of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), as it’s clear that most of the western medicine I have taken to date for my illness has done absolutely nada to help me. The ENT doctor can go ahead and tell me to take Prilosec or Pepcid or Tums or whatever, but nothing actually feels like it’s moving the needle for me and getting me on a real road to recovery. Maybe my body does need a cleanse, and these herbs will actually help me get across the finish line to full recovery? We shall see.

Kesar mangoes – a box of 12, straight from India

In 2020, for the very first time, thanks to the generosity of an Indian shop owner in “Curry Hill” in Manhattan (high 20s on Lexington), I got to try the glory and deliciousness that is the kesar mango. Kesar mangoes originate in Gujarat in India, and given India is known to have one of the biggest varieties of mangoes in the world, this mango is quite famous for its deep complexity, as well as its deep orange flesh color. I still remember when I first had it with Chris. We filmed it as an episode for Yvonne meets Food, and I was totally blown away: it’s sweet with strange acidity notes throughout. It’s as though it starts sweet, and then the acid hits you later. But depending on what part of the fruit you are eating (or which section of the pit you are sucking :), it’s more in-your-face at some times vs. others. The color is so deep and orange that it could even look like someone artificially colored it! Each bite is literally not the same as the previous, and I think that’s what, in general, differentiates Indian mangoes from the ataulfo and kent mangoes that are grown in Mexico and readily available in the U.S. during mango season: the complexity of Indian mangoes is just unmatched.

So I was pretty excited when Chris surprised us with a delivery of 12 Kesar mangoes, imported from India, sourced through delivery via Say Weee! Though they were pricey at about $4 each, these babies are worth it. They are small and have far less flesh than the ataulfos, but man, each bite is like BAM! SO MUCH COMPLEXITY AND FLAVOR. They keep surprising you with each lick and bite! And thankfully with this order, none of them seem to have any ripening issues as the Alphonso mangoes we got from Patel Brothers last May. We’ve already cut six open, and while some were a bit overly ripe (and of course, went straight into homemade lassis), the others were succulent, rich, and lick-your-fingers-and-cutting-board juicy and good. Yummmmm.

Kaia’s first steps – at last

When Kaia was around 10 months old, she started pulling herself up to stand, whether it was on us or along furniture. She started cruising along furniture around the same time, and she was doing it quite quickly as she approached the one-year mark. Given she had no problems sitting up independently, getting into and out of a seated position, and cruising, the doctor said that she’d likely be walking within a month of her appointment in early January.

Well, that didn’t actually happen. Kaia continued cruising and pulling herself up, but she still showed zero interest in actually walking independently. She started using her pusher/walker more around the end of February and got really good with it in March, but still, every time we tried to encourage her to walk, she’d stand for up to a minute on her own and then immediately get down and crawl. She did the same thing when we would walk alongside her, holding her hands and guiding her. She either seemed scared or like she just had zero desire to walk.

So after the doctor suggested early intervention given she wasn’t yet walking independently by 16 months, I started reading more about how to encourage your baby to walk. I found a video that Emma Hubbard posted on YouTube about how to do this; she’s a pediatric occupational therapist from Australia, and I’d previously watched a number of her videos last year when tracking Kaia’s development. She suggested that we not keep Kaia’s arms up when walking with her, but instead, to either have them at her own arm/shoulder level or lower so that she could balance herself properly. In addition, she also suggested leveling baby at her waist, ensuring she’s square on her feet and her hips are firmly in position, then coaxing baby to come forward without holding your hands.

I spent over an hour doing this exactly activity this afternoon. Initially, Kaia resisted. She yelled and refused. She insisted on getting on her hands and knees and crawling. But after encouraging her in both English and Chinese, motioning her to come forward, and insisting she stand, she finally started standing and walking forward. She kept her arms out ahead of her or at her sides to keep her balance, and she would walk forward. At first, it was just four steps. But then four steps became eight, which became 16, which became too many to count at once. She grew faster and faster, and she started enjoying it and giggling nonstop. She then insisted that she continue walking and would even walk independently while clapping at her own efforts. It was the sweetest, most enjoyable afternoon to finally watch my baby reach this milestone.

Kaia still needs practice, of course, and needs to straighten one of her feet, but we can happily thank Emma Hubbard for her tips on how to encourage little bub to walk on her own. I am a very proud mama today. And it’s the last weekday before her first day at daycare/school!

“Hot? Hot?”

I was reading about early childhood development and how by the age of 18 months, children should be able to differentiate “hot” vs. “cold.” But I suppose that’s really only going to be the case if your child is actually exposed to something hot or cold and can compare and contrast the two. Usually, we serve Kaia’s food lukewarm in case it may be too hot for her to handle. But a couple months ago, I thought I would warm it a few extra seconds longer just to have her exposed to warmer foods. It went a little something like this:

I put the slightly warmer food in front of her, and I said, “Kaia, this is hot. Be careful. Wait a bit.”

She touched it and then flinched, realizing it was a higher temperature than she’s used to touching. I said, “Hot! Hot!” a couple more times, and then she realized she had to wait to allow the food to cool before touching and trying to eat it again.

Ever since then, she knows that when we warn her that food is hot, she has to wait to let it cool. Sometimes, she will hesitate to even touch the food when we put it in front of her, first having a quizzical look on her face and asking us, “Hot? Hot?” before she proceeds to dig in. My baby is learning by leaps and bounds.

An ode to Ammachy

This past Sunday, we learned that Ammachy, Chris’s maternal grandma, passed away. She was widowed quite early on in her marriage and had three daughters she ended up raising on her own. She worked hard and made sure they had a good childhood, and they all went on to do relatively well in their respective careers and lives. Because she lived in India and never actually moved to Australia, Chris spent less time with her than he did with his paternal grandma. I had seen her on a number of occasions when she’d be in Australia during Christmas time, and Chris and I also went to visit her in the summer of 2018 during our India trip. She was always soft-spoken and thoughtful, and there was never a time when she was not reading a book (always in extra big print because of her vision problem). We were really looking forward to going to India this summer to visit her and finally have her meet Kaia. I really was excited for her to see Kaia, her second great grandchild, and have them interact with each other, but unfortunately, it was not meant to be. Our India trip this summer will now be a bit different than how we had hoped and envisioned.

Although Ammachy has passed, I still think it’s amazing that Chris got to see both his grandmothers live well into his late 30s/early 40s. While it’s sad that she is now gone, it’s comforting to know that she lived a good, full, long life and had many people who loved her and will always remember her.

Two years since we lost our friend

When we found out our friend Raj passed away due to seizures of a still-unknown cause, we were beyond shocked. I felt sick to my stomach for more than a day, especially knowing that his son had just been born a couple weeks ago, and his wife was still recovering from childbirth and breastfeeding. To this day, Raj is one of the most kind-hearted, gentle, warm, gregarious humans I have ever known. If there is one person who seemed to always, always assume the very best intentions of anyone, it would definitely have been him. Two years after death, his wife is still struggling to fully accept he is gone, but his spirit still lives on through her and their son, now over two years old.

Raj’s death was also shocking and scary to me because when we found out he had died in 2021, it was shortly after I found out I was pregnant. At that time, I was pregnant with twins. That week, one of the twins “vanished” (vanishing twin syndrome), and I went through my own downward spiral that was separate from Raj’s death. I thought about how Raj and his wife had brought this tiny human into the world, thinking they’d raise him and any future children together, but instead, so soon after their baby was born, the baby’s dad died, and mom would be left alone without a life partner to help. Raj would never be able to experience the joy of watching his son grow up. And I thought about how absolutely devastating that was and how petrifying it would be for me if I were in the same situation.

I think about Raj all the time. But when I think of him, I still realize that in his short life, he probably lived a much fuller one than those double his age because of his positive outlook and all-around warmth and kindness. It would be hard to imagine anyone knowing him who did not like him or appreciate how good of a human he was. We could all benefit from trying to embody a little Raj in our own lives.

Our baby loves her nanny

A year ago, on Good Friday 2022, our current nanny did her trial day with us. Back then, my little Pookster was just over four months old, responsive and bubbly, with chunky cheeks and stubby little hands that were always trying to grab everything. It’s amazing what transpires in a year and how much my little baby grew and evolved. Now, she’s walking (well, while pushing her walker) and trying to get those hands, no longer stubby, into all our drawers and cabinets. Her curiosity knows no bounds, as she’s curious not just with people and places, but also with new foods, which, fingers crossed, we hope continues. She’s saying endless words now, and even repeating things that well, perhaps she should not be saying. Her dad keeps applauding her for the 100th time that she’s proudly exclaimed, “Oh, shit!”

Kaia loves spending time with her nanny. Our nanny makes her smile and giggle, and every morning she comes in, I know Kaia is excited to see her just from the big grin on her face and how her eyes light up. I am grateful we found a nanny who has not only been reliable and trustworthy, but also genuinely loves and cares for our daughter. Not every family is as lucky in the nanny/caregiver world as we have been. Almost every week in local parenting groups on social media, I see parents posting about the nanny that accepted an offer but never showed up on the first day; a nanny who suddenly gave her notice but didn’t come back to finish her final weeks as promised; a nanny who steals the most random things from the parents’ home (the dumbest thing I read was the nanny who stole some expensive sponges… wow). I shudder every time I read these. Our nanny is part of the mini-village we have created, in a world where the “village” doesn’t really exist much anymore. It’s been sweet to watch the relationship between our nanny and Pookster grow. We have definitely gotten lucky with our nanny.

“All done!”

Kaia absolutely adores her books. It makes me so happy to watch her sort through her books, turn the pages, and demand that we read her a selected book by pulling one off the shelf and handing it over to us with expectant puppy dog eyes. It does not always make me happy to watch her attempt to destroy her books with regular paper pages or try to disassemble the pull-out features of her more interactive books, but I suppose that’s just part of her learning process.

Last night, Kaia did her usual routine. She knew it was bedtime, so as soon as she finished her milk, we got into her room and she selected a book for me to read. She handed it over to me to read. We went through the book, funny voices and all, and when we finished, she wasn’t quite done; she closed the book, then pushed it into my lap. She was trying to indicate that she wanted to go through the book again. So I told her we’d go through the book again one more time. When we got halfway through the book, she immediately grabbed it, closed it shut, and then declared, “all done!”

My little baby is growing by leaps and bounds. I just can’t believe it sometimes. Sometimes, I still just stare at her face in wonderment and think about how thankful I am that she is here. My sweet miracle baby is life’s most precious gift to me.

The magic of Ms. Rachel

A number of mothers have let me know the magic that Ms. Rachel from YouTube has worked on their young babies. Ms. Rachel has encouraged babies to clap, make hand signals, wave byeybye, and say words and phrases. There’s a lot of skepticism around whether any of this is actually effective, but I’d say that if it gets your baby to actually say and do new things that they hadn’t done before, then it’s a win. I’m careful with how much I let Kaia play with our phones and be exposed to screens, so I don’t want her watching anything endlessly. So over the last two days, I let her watch Ms. Rachel three times, in 10-minute increments. She seems to light up and giggle a bit when she sees Ms. Rachel’s face and hears her really high pitched voice. During just 30 minutes of watching Ms. Rachel, Kaia had already repeated “keys,” “got it,” and tried to do different finger movements to follow Ms. Rachel as she sang and used her fingers to show “itsy bitsy spider.” Very quickly, I was impressed and in slight awe. This was really working!

My highly verbal baby

Since Kaia was quite young, she had already started her babble. She babbled earlier than the baby guides said she would, and since Australia, she’s been mimicking lots of sounds and words that we say. It’s unclear which she actually knows the meanings of, but it’s so adorable to see and hear her try to say certain things. The other morning, I told her that she’d have some Weetbix for breakfast, and she had a big smile on her face while saying over and over, “wee bih, wee bih!” She often repeats, “hey,” “byebye,” “baby,” and of course, “no!” One of the latest things she has been saying on repeat, which I have no idea what she is referring to, is “bobby! bobby!”

I can’t believe my baby is already over 14 months old. Sometimes, I still can’t believe we got so lucky with her. She is my sweet little blessing.