A few days at this office, and now I’m convinced; you could probably live here if you wanted to.

The kitchens on every floor of this building are fully stocked with everything from multiple types of fruit to five types of milk to eight types of nuts to ten types of cereal to cold brew coffee and Mighty Leaf tea. The bathrooms have the works — toothpaste, floss picks, mouth wash, lotion, antibacterial gel, five different types of pads and tampons, to even dry shampoo. And then today, I discovered on the basement floor that there are even fully equipped and stocked showers. I could shower here if I wanted to.

There are computers, the Internet, phones, pool and ping pong tables, food, showers, and toilets. What else do you need?

It’s been two days in San Francisco for work, and I’m already exhausted. These have been the 12 most intensive and grueling first days on the job in my life. For once in a long time, I’m being forced to really think and use my brain at work, and I am still getting used to it. The last two days have ended with meetings with my manager, which have been very productive to the point of ending with being drilled on everything product related, big picture to little picture. Yesterday’s meeting ended at 6:45; today, I didn’t even leave the office until 7:15. While a bit daunting, it’s heartening to know that someone actually cares to invest the time in me to ensure I am grasping important concepts that will be pertinent to my job. It also keeps me on my toes. I even proved he was wrong when he thought I was wrong. That felt quite good. I’m getting this shit now.

And then tonight, I passed my first product certification exam. I’m still a ways to go before I am fully ramped up, but so far, the progress has been looking quite good. And, I’m getting fed very well… perhaps too well here.

This morning, after coming back late from Boston last night, I took the 7am flight from JFK to SFO. Bleary eyed and sticky, I arrived at my new company’s San Francisco headquarters and was greeted with seemingly endless warmth and welcome, hugs, and smiles, and multiple invitations to lunch.

I think you know you’ve come from an abused or misused environment when people are friendly and warm with you, and you are slightly taken aback by it and question their motives. You hesitate, and you wonder for a second whether this person really does want to grab coffee or lunch with you, whether this person really is happy to see you and wants to spend time with you. In just a day, my entire week has filled with lunch invitations from people across departments who want to chat with me and get to know me. This is not what I am used to given my previous situation. No one really wanted to eat lunch with me or get to know me at my last job with the exception of maybe two or three people total. No one really cared what I did outside of work, or even what I did at work. There wasn’t a genuine passion or drive that I felt any of my ex-colleagues had… other than to make a lot of money and/or bring home a paycheck at the end of the day. But people here really do seem to care about their work, what our company is doing, and they even seem to care about me and ensuring I am happy and doing well. That is a foreign concept to me, but one that makes me smile. This is my new world now. And so far, it’s a good one.

You know how most people say that the first two weeks of their job is supposed to be the breeziest and simplest? Well, I’d strongly argue against that at my current company, and not necessarily in a bad way. I’ve had a number of very productive meetings my first two weeks, and not only that, I’m actually learning new, valuable information that will help me properly get up to speed on the technology I will be supporting, in addition to the company in general. It’s been a refreshing experience to be at a company that is striving to be as organized as mine is. And for better or for worse (and really for the better), I have to complete a certification exam on the company product and have been spending a lot of time reading up and studying for it.

It’s honestly a strange feeling to be studying again. The last time I truly studied anything seriously was in my last year of college, and that was almost nine years ago. I feel like I haven’t genuinely used my brain in the longest time, as work for the last 3-5 years really hasn’t been intellectually stimulating at all, and I spent most of my time putting out trivial “fires” over things that were not truly fires at all. I was respected at my last two companies, and people really looked to me for guidance and advice, but sometimes I felt so weirded out by it because I never though I did anything extraordinary at all; I was just being myself and getting my own work done. Isn’t that what we’re all supposed to be doing at our jobs?

Every time I have a bad dream, Chris always says it’s because when I go to sleep, I subconsciously or consciously am having negative thoughts. “You need to think about happy things before you go to bed, otherwise you will keep waking up in the morning and getting mad at me for doing bad things to you during your dreams,” he admonishes. Well, I don’t always get mad at him. But he does often bully me in my dreams. It’s probably because he spends so much time making fun of me in real life.

Well, last night I clearly had happy thoughts. The first dream I remember, we were on a plane to some Scandinavian country, and we were exploring the rugged beauty there. Then, we were traveling somewhere else tropical. And finally, I dreamt we were sleeping, and he wet the bed. Hmm… I’m not sure that last one was “happy.”

I told him this when I woke up, and he said, “Well, what can I say? I had to go.”

Last week, I met a good friend, and we chatted about attractions felt to others while in serious relationships. She said that she and her partner were fairly open about these attractions, even though they aren’t considered conventional things to discuss or be open about. They even know a number of seemingly happy couples in “open” relationships where they either either together or married, and they and their partners sleep with other people. I’m not sure I could personally get on board with this (the mere idea of Chris having sex with someone else makes me want to claw someone’s face out), but I don’t see why society needs to judge other couples who are in agreement about this and are open about their external relationships from each other. What I’m genuinely curious about is whether the people who participate in open marriages are truly not jealous and are open to their partners being amorous and loving other people.

And then of course, Chris reminds me that the definition of marriage has evolved significantly over the last several decades. Now, for the first time ever, gay people can marry. People can divorce and be open about it, and there’s not as large of a stigma around it as before. I’m meeting more and more people in their late 20s and early 30s who are divorced, and I don’t really care. No one else does, either. Women are working outside of the home, and it’s considered completely normal and even expected, and with their higher level of earning power and independence from their husbands, they are leaving unhappy marriages when before, they didn’t have the option to do that, otherwise they’d be destitute and without a penny. Monogamy is really a religious idea that came from the Bible – devotion to your husband or wife until the end of your lives together. But I don’t think that many people think about that; we’ve been taught since we were children that we will get married and live happily ever after with one person one day.

The only very practical fear I’d have over open marriage is well, exposure to diseases. It wouldn’t be good to give chlamydia or gonorrhea to your married partner, would it? The other question I’d have is, what’s really my threshold for jealousy? You never really know until it’s truly tested in reality.