Category Archives: Hope

Vietnamese handmade delicacies

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Of all the types of cuisines I like and cook semi-regularly, I probably make far less Vietnamese food than I’d ideally want to have at home. A big reason for that is most of the Vietnamese dishes I absolutely love are pretty laborious. No one is whipping up banh xeo on a weeknight for a casual dinner. And if you want to enjoy central Vietnamese delicacies like banh it tran (sticky rice dumplings stuffed with mashed mung bean, minced pork, and shrimp), or banh beo (steamed bite-sized rice cakes topped with shrimp) — well, that’s going to be a whole weekend affair, with their multi-step process. These dishes are so frustrating because they are so time-consuming and laborious to make, yet they are eaten in mere seconds. The people who eat these dishes do not always understand or appreciate how much love, effort, and skill goes into making these tasty delights.

While enjoying the banh chung from Banh NYC restaurant the last couple days, I watched as both Kaia and Chris excitedly ate their portions. Kaia had her happy drool face on when we put the banh chung, still in its steamy banana leaves, in front of her. Banh chung is a dish that requires a lot of steps, a lot of patience, and a lot of skill. There is required skill for each step, whether that’s soaking the rice or soaking, steaming, mashing, and seasoning the mung beans, or preparing and marinating the pork. But there’s also skill that your hands just need to *know* to wrap and fold the leaves just so, so that the final steamed package is this perfect square. I attempted the tying of the string at the Tet Lunar New Year event hosted by VHC a couple weeks ago; that was super hard! I messed up twice and then finally gave it to our volunteer workshop instructor to help me fix my wrongs. This is one of those dishes I don’t even bother attempting to make; I leave this to the pros. But maybe there would be value in attempting it as a cooking project once or twice, just to see if I could do it. Dishes like these are slowly but surely becoming a lost art. For our Lunar New Year party this year, ‘m thinking about making banh bot loc, which are bite-sized shrimp/pork tapioca dumplings, individually wrapped and steamed in banana leaves. The last time I ate these was when my mom found a Vietnamese home caterer, and she did a private order of these little chewy babies; she even sent me back to New York with some to store in our freezer so that I could steam them for future meals. While AI takes over the world, what it will never be able to do is replace the love and art that goes into crafting special dishes like banh bot loc or banh chung. That really needs a real human touch — even if Chris debates that because he likes to troll my obsession with handmade, homemade things all the time.

The Husband of the Year award goes to Chris on the first day of the Year of the Fire Horse: the mad, spontaneous sprint to retrieve Banh’s banh chung!

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A few weeks ago, we had a decadent lunch at Banh on the Upper West Side, which is one of our favorite Vietnamese restaurants in the city. While there, I picked up one banh chung, or banh tet, a Vietnamese savory sticky rice cake that is steamed in banana leaves and stuffed with luxurious mashed mung bean and pork; it’s a traditional food that is painstakingly made for Tet Lunar New Year. Previously each Lunar New Year, I’d pick up a banh chung from the Vietnamese market I usually go to on Bowery off of Grand (assuming I wasn’t back in San Francisco around this time, which would mean my mom would gift me one from one of her favorite Vietnamese bakeries), but this year, I decided that since we were already at Banh that I might as well pick one of theirs up. Plus, the cost of the banh chung had been slowly going up each year at the market and by now was pretty much the same price as Banh’s (what costs aren’t going up?), so it wasn’t like I’d save much money, plus I’d be able to finally try Banh’s rendition, which I’ve always wanted to taste.

Today is the first day of Lunar New Year, the year of the fire horse. So I saved the Banh banh chung to steam today as part of our dinner tonight. I steamed, unwrapped, and cut it up, and I laid it out on the table. And Chris took one bite of it and declared that it was the best banh chung, or really, the best savory steamed rice wrapped in banana leaves, that he’d ever had — period. I took a bite of it and wasn’t totally sure it was the best banh chung ever since I’ve had a lot of these, but yes, it was really, really delicious. Every bite just seemed to melt into my mouth and burst with flavor. We gave Kaia a piece, and she devoured it in seconds, then asked for more. We were all immediate huge fans of Banh’s banh chung. And I immediately said out loud that I regretted not buying two when we were at the restaurant a couple weeks ago; I had contemplated it, but figured I could always get another banh chung another time, maybe even somewhere else.

Chris and I started talking about schedules for tomorrow. I knew that even if Banh didn’t sell out of their banh chung today that I would be very unlikely to go up there given I have an insane number of meetings on my calendar tomorrow. Chris then grabbed my phone, looked up whether Banh was even open today (it is the first day of Lunar New Year, after all), then had me call them to see if they still had banh chung on hand. I called the restaurant, and they said they still had eight vegetarian banh chung and five meat banh chung left. It was about 5:40; they opened their doors for dinner at 6pm. Chris had already gone into the bedroom to change. He grabbed the OMNY card, his kombucha bottle, and the Trader Joe’s canvas bag and was immediately on his way out. And less than 45 minutes later as I was finishing up Kaia’s shower, he walked through the door.

He came back with not one, not two, but THREE Banh pork-stuffed banh chung. Given the timing, I was pretty sure he did a mad dash to and from when he was off the bus or train. He came back, turned on our bedroom fan for his “summer breeze,” and said he needed to cool down. I took photos of Chris and Kaia with the much coveted and delicious Banh banh chung. Banh’s banh chung has likely ruined all other banh chung in the city for me. I do not think I can ever go back to buying the one at the Vietnamese market ever again. Two of these banh chung immediately got wrapped up to feed the freezer, and would eventually feed our bellies at a later date. The third banh chung was prompted placed in our fridge, to be steamed at some point in the next week or two for very-near-future enjoyment. After all, Lunar New Year technically is not a single day celebration as Gregorian New Year is to the West; Lunar New Year is a weeks long celebration of fireworks, endless feasting, and red envelopes!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how my husband Chris, on the first day of the Year of the Fire Horse, won the Husband of the Year award. He can be super annoying, stubborn, and painful to deal with at (many) times. But in these moments, he proves that his true love language is acts of service. Though… he will still not admit that this sprint to and from Banh to retrieve three beautifully and lovingly made banh chung was not entirely selfless, as he also loves this work of (edible) art just as much, if not more, than I do. And of course, Kaia Pookie will get her fair share, as well. The whole family benefits from this delicious deed.

Lunar New Year preschool performance and lunch party

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Today was Kaia’s Lunar New Year performance and lunch party, to which parents were all invited. This year, Chris and I both came; it’s her last year of preschool as well as her last year at this school. Plans have not been finalized as to where she will be going to kindergarten, so I’m not even sure if she will have any Lunar New Year performances or activities at her school next year. So I insisted to Chris that we both attend.

Just a week ago, I scored Kaia a new size 4T qipao / cheongsam via our Buy Nothing group, so I was excited to get her a Chinese cultural dress just in time for her Lunar New Year performance. She wore it today for the performance, and even did her little dance in a head dress that they made at school. It was interesting to watch her dance this year, especially when I remember what she did last year. Frankly last year, while she did do some of the movements, she was extremely shy performing in front of a large crowd of parents, and so she didn’t dance very much. This year, she did almost all the movements the way (I think) she was intended to. She definitely looked a lot more confident this year, and she was happy to dance, using all limbs. But unfortunately, the entire performance (of kids ages 2-4) was overshadowed by a wee 2-year-old girl, who was crying hysterically the entire time. Kaia also seemed to get a bit distracted by this other child’s crying, so she kept facing the direction of that kid almost the entire time. So unfortunately, my videos of the performance are marred by this. I guess I can always watch these videos and remember hysterical and screaming little Jenny!

After the performance, the teachers re-arranged the classroom so that tables were set up so we could all sit down and eat. As is usually the case, the teachers served the children first, and then the parents self served. The funny thing I always notice when the teachers serve the kids is that they tend to load up on the carbs with a side of proteins; they put pretty much no noticeable vegetables on the kids’ plates. So when I went to serve myself, I added some yu choy from the vegetarian yi mian (longevity noodles) to my plate. As soon as Kaia saw the long stems of green, she immediately yelled out and pointed at them, insisting she wanted some. She ended up taking almost all my yu choy and eating it nearly all at once (she also took some off of Chris’s plate). I had to go back and get myself some more yu choy. The teachers and parents around us all marveled at Kaia eating her vegetables as though it was just so incredible!

Homemade milk bread rolls

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Several months ago, I successfully made a loaf of Japanese milk bread. I originally attempted this during the pandemic, but I didn’t have bread flour and only had all-purpose, and the bread was completely wrong — not the fluffy, airy, super moist bread that you think of when you hear of Japanese milk bread. When I finally attempted it again last year and succeeded, I knew I had to make this bread more often. It’s so satisfying to make, and as long as you have the right ingredients (as in, bread flour for higher gluten development, dry milk powder, and instant yeast as opposed to dry active yeast), then it’s pretty much fool-proof. While cooking and baking (desserts) have always been fun and satisfying for me, baking yeast breads has a whole different level of satisfaction for me. I love every part of the process — measuring out the ingredients, mixing and kneading the dough, watching the two rises, and baking. I look at every bread I’ve made as though it were my little baby — being made, grown, and developed. Tonight, I baked up the milk bread rolls after mixing and kneading the dough last night. I started mixing after I put Kaia to bed last night. She knew I was in the kitchen and kept calling out to me.

“Whatcha doing, mama?” she called out from her bed. “Are you cooking?”

I went back to her bed to settle her down and try to get her to close her eyes. “Mama is making bread, baby!” I said to her. “If you’re good, then maybe you can have some when it’s ready!”

Kaia loves “soft bread.” She loves to remind me of this. When she says this, she means that she loves soft, fluffy bread with a tender crumb — brioche, challah, and milk bread are all in this category. She also does not like a crunchy toast the way I do. Are these the most nutritious breads? No. But they are deeply satisfying to make and eat. And I always get excited whenever my baby enjoys anything I make with my own hands.

Speaking of nutrition, though, I was thinking about this recipe developer/cookbook author I follow and love, who is currently pregnant and was diagnosed early on with gestational diabetes. While I’m sure this was frustrating for her as someone who loves food, one interesting thing she shared was that when she bakes her own bread from scratch, her blood sugar levels do not spike. But when she eats bread not made by her (so bought outside), her blood sugar goes crazy. If you know of anyone or have yourself had gestational diabetes, you’ll know that in dealing with this during pregnancy, you have to prick yourself at least once or twice every day and carefully monitor your blood sugar level to ensure it doesn’t go over a certain amount. So when I heard that homemade bread didn’t spike her blood sugar, I felt a bit better about my love of making these “soft breads” that are not made from whole wheat or whole grain flours. Though i will say openly that I do do slightly sacrilegious things and add whole wheat flour to my brioche and challah to increase the nutritional profile.

“I wanna go to [Australia] where it’s summer now!”

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To my pleasant surprise, even though it was extremely cold on Sunday going to and from the VHC Tet Lunar New Year Festival in Brooklyn, Kaia actually didn’t complain too much about the cold or walking. On both sides of the subway ride, we only walked about 6-7 minutes, so it really wasn’t that bad… even when the icy winds hit us. But while on the train, Kaia had some thoughts to share about the cold.

“Mama, when it’s winter here in New York, it’s summer at Suma and Topa’s house, right?” she asked me with wide eyes.

“Yes, baby… when it’s winter here in the Northern Hemisphere, it’s the opposite in the Southern Hemisphere where Suma and Topa are in Australia, so it’s summer,” I confirmed to her.

“Mama! I don’t like winter,” Kaia said with big frown on her face. “When it’s winter here, I wanna go to Suma and Topa’s where it’s summer! I wanna go to Melbourne because I don’t like the cold!”

This conversation was funny to me for a few reasons: 1) I love that she’s putting two and two together, beginning to understand the differences in seasons where we call home versus where her paternal grandparents are, 2) I also love (and laugh at) the fact that she thinks she can just snap her fingers and go to Australia during their summer time just because she wants to. She has no idea behind the financial costs of flying at high times of the year, of flying in general. She also doesn’t understand that it’s a commitment, that it’s a privilege to be able to have a mother who can work remotely for that amount of time and not have her job be in jeopardy (it’s also a privilege, in today’s day and age with soaring costs of living, to have a father who lives a “life of service [leisure]”, but that’s another topic for another day). How many four-year-olds are going to have the luxury of experiencing life in two hemispheres regularly… of flying on a long-haul flight from New York to Melbourne every year of their life thus far, and getting to see how amazing it is to escape the bitter cold of winter here for the summer there? Most Australians in New York I’ve met and known to date, at most, go back to Australia every other year… and that’s on the higher end. Almost no one I know other than Chris insists on going back every single year.

It’s going to be a work in progress to make sure that my only child doesn’t grow up to be some silver spoon, entitled child, who snubs other people for not seeing as much of the world as she has, or for being less worldly.

Vietnamese Heritage Center Tet Lunar New Year Festival 2026

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Today, I took Kaia to the Vietnamese Heritage Center (VHC) Tet Lunar New Year Festival, which was held at the Brooklyn Botanic Ballroom. VHC changes up their location every year since they have to rent event space. I first learned about VHC two years ago right before their scheduled Lunar New Year Festival that year (thanks to my NYC Modern Asian Moms group, the second best group I ever joined on Facebook after my local Buy-Nothing Group!), and unfortunately, the event had already sold out before I could even consider buying tickets. I remember that year, it was held at a really convenient location, somewhere around Union Square or Chelsea. Last year, they held it at some remote location out in Brooklyn, which would have required a 30-minute walk after we got off the nearest train. Given this is obviously held in winter, I really didn’t want to deal with that walk even if I did push Kaia in a stroller. So this year, when I saw that it was at the ballroom just eight minutes’ walk away from the nearest subway stop, I knew I wanted to sign us up. Kaia has had lots of exposure to Chinese culture and Chinese traditions around Lunar New Year, but she’s never been to a Vietnamese cultural event. And so, I really wanted this to happen. I went in knowing that this weekend would be around -8 F with windchill, but I figured it would be fine since the walk on both ends would be relatively short, and this was a fully indoor event. Chris decided not to come because he doesn’t like cultural events (“Why do I have to go to this?” he asked me, looking puzzled. “I just need the food!”), so I asked my friend if he wanted to take his wife and toddler, and they came.

The event was far more diverse than I thought it would be: there were plenty of non-Vietnamese, non-Asian people in attendance. Lots of non-Asians were wearing male and female versions of ao dais. They had a restaurant cater the food for the event, plus they had different Vietnamese cultural vendors, ranging from banh chung/banh Tet vendors, banh mi/Vietnamese coffee/sugar cane juice vendors, Vietnamese photography, books, and even specific artworks like dioramas and paintings for sale. For hands-on activities for both kids and adults, they had a Banh Tet (Vietnamese Lunar New Year sticky rice) workshop, face painting for the kids, a Lunar New Year card / art making table, and Vietnamese dice games. There were also some performances like an ao dai fashion show, a traditional Vietnamese fan dance, and of course, a lion dance. The whole event ended with a li xi / hong bao / red envelope ceremony, where all the littles could line up to get their own red envelope, each filled with a crisp dollar bill, all sponsored by New York Life.

We arrived early, so Kaia was lucky and got to be the very first kid who had her face painted. She chose cherry blossoms, so the artist painted them on both of her upper cheeks. She enjoyed her noodles for lunch, as well as some arts and crafts. And probably her favorite thing to do was to run around, scope people out, and play with random new friends she made. She kept on asking me about Vietnamese this and Vietnamese that. And she said that a lot was like what she saw at school. So it was nice to see her connecting the dots of what she saw here versus the Chinese versions of Lunar New Year traditions.

I never learned much about Chinese or Vietnamese culture until college, when I really started embracing it and proactively learning about the traditions. It’s easy to eat the food; it’s an additional step to learn why all these foods are important, what they symbolize, and how they contribute to one’s culture. I hope Kaia learns and embraces all parts of her many cultures far earlier than I ever did. I hope all these experiences I expose her to will help in some small way or form.

The kindness of strangers continues in the form of Chinese “paper” sponge cakes

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After pregnancy, childbirth, and becoming a mother, I think I should start a blog series entitled, “The kindness of strangers,” with each post detailing an exact example of the kindness I’ve witnessed being bestowed on myself and/or my child. Because I think that while the world oftentimes feels like it’s getting worse (and the country in which I am living definitely feels like it’s becoming more backwards by the day, especially with this current Dipshit administration), I am deeply heartened almost weekly, if not daily, by the little kindnesses directed towards Kaia and me.

At Kaia’s school, there is a “doorman” who works at the front of the building — we call him Ah Gong (like a polite term for grandpa, but not actually our grandpa). To be honest, he is probably around my dad’s age, is a grandpa of three, and likely could not be trusted as a real “security” guard in a true emergency, but he is the biggest sweetheart. Every since Kaia started going to this school, he has always been very warm, kind, and friendly with us. It’s clear he loves children: he always greets each of them warmly and enthusiastically, gives them a high-five or a hug when he sees them, and oftentimes will even spoil them with candy from a container I know for a fact he refills with his own money. Oftentimes I feel bad for Kaia contributing to the depletion of his candy stash, especially since we never even allow her to eat the candy; we’re simply stockpiling it in the pockets her backpack. But I know he really enjoys giving the kids candy.

So today we came down the stairs to exit the building. And he saw Kaia and greeted us. They did a high-five, and then out of nowhere, Ah Gong whipped out this big plastic takeout container that has three Chinese “paper” sponge cakes — the Chinese lightly sweetened, chiffon-style cakes that originated in Hong Kong. He said he wanted to give Kaia something very special and gave her the entire box! Ah Gong said she deserves it because she is so cute and “guai guai” (well behaved). Kaia excited took the entire container and thanked Ah Gong, and then in her “hehe, I got something special!” mood, almost skipped out the doorway!

Just last week while I was in Denver, Chris told me that Ah Gong gave Kaia a lao po bing (old wife cake/winter melon cake). I think he’s getting a little too generous and fancy. Kaia took one bite of it and decided she didn’t like it (I ended up eating it since I do enjoy them). So this wasn’t the first time he was dishing out Chinese bakery items to Kaia. I just couldn’t believe that he would be this generous. What are we going to do at the end of this school year when Kaia finally leaves this school, and we don’t get to see Ah Gong every day anymore? It’s going to be a very sad, wistful day.

The necessity of soup at the Chinese dining table: an ode to my paternal grandma

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Growing up, I remember there was almost always a massive stockpot full of some kind of broth or soup on the stove. Sometimes, it was a gentle herbal chicken soup. Occasionally, it was a thick and packed jook/congee with lots of different proteins, like chicken, pork, tofu skins, shredded dried and rehydrated scallops. Other times, it was a ginseng-based tonic meant to “cool” our bodies from eating too many rich foods. Regardless of what was in the big pot, I grew up knowing that soup was an integral part of our diet at home. It was rare to have a day when there was no full stockpot on the stove. It was an everyday occurrence to hear my grandma, mom, or aunt insist that Ed and I “drink soup.”

Soup was the antidote to everything. You ate too much fried food? Drink soup. You aren’t feeling well? Drink soup. You’re feeling sluggish or tired? Drink soup. Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) has a soup or tonic for pretty much anything you can complain about.

I started getting back into thinking about soup more regularly after I gave birth to Kaia in December 2021. My aunt had lovingly sent me ingredients to make a specific Chinese chicken wine soup (雞酒湯 ji jiu tang), which she insisted would nourish my body to recover quickly from childbirth, while also simultaneously helping my body to produce more milk for my baby (debatable, but it was still tasty). Two years ago, I started being more intentional about making soup. And this year, I am trying to make soup even more often. It’s delicious, nourishing, tasty, and given it’s been so cold this winter, who could say no to a hot bowl of soup? Soup rounds out any meal. In China, there is a saying called san cai yi tang (三菜一汤), meaning “three dishes and one soup,” which is a foundational principle of a balanced, home-cooked Chinese meal that is meant to be shared. It’s typically a meat/protein, one vegetable, one tofu/egg/seafood dish, alongside a nutritious soup. The soup type can vary depending on how it complements the other dishes at the table, but more often than not at home, the soup is a very simple broth that is lightly flavored and seasoned.

I made a simple home-style soup today called yuanzi tang (圆子汤), or pork meatball soup. I was inspired to make it because this blog post by Xueci Cheng, a recipe developer I follow, talked about how integral soup was to her family’s meals in Sichuan growing up. It reminded me of how I ate with my family growing up. And similar to me, she also had forgotten how soup was always at the dinner table at home, as she had moved away to Germany, and soup had mostly been forgotten as a thing to have at a meal. So she made this same soup, and she said when her parents made it for them all during their visit to see her in Germany, they immediately said at the first sip once it was finished cooking that it “tasted like home 家的味道.” This soup is really simple. There’s no required broth base, as it’s mostly flavored by the fat and flavor from the pork meatballs you make (though I did use a cup of dashi I happened to have in my fridge). But after I seasoned it, it really did remind me of the simpler, light home-style soups my grandma used to make when I was little.

My paternal grandma passed in 1995. If she were alive today, she’d be 109 going on 110 this September. Her only granddaughter just turned 40 last month — that’s me. I wonder how she’d feel knowing that even 31 years after her death that I still think about her and her cooking often. I wonder if she’d be pleased to know how much of an impact she’s had on my life and the way I view food, cooking, and our shared culture. She never thought cooking was that great of a skill; for her, it was just something she knew and did. It fed her family (and around Lunar New Year, it fed her friends), and that was enough for her. But in these moments when I taste things that remind me of her and her cooking, I do find myself missing her and wishing we could share that same taste together.

Childcare during a winter storm – no-win for anyone

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We have an impending winter storm coming our way this Sunday. Every major news outlet around the country (and even world) has been talking about a winter storm affecting massive swaths of the U.S., from Texas all the way up to North Carolina and the entire Northeast of the country. Of course, that means we’re affected here in New York City. And so Kaia’s school let us know that we should watch out for emails from them from Sunday going into Monday morning. Our school administrator told me at pickup on Friday, “The latest you will see an email from us is 5am on Monday, but likely before that! That way, you’ll know whether we’ll be open on Monday. But if you hear news before that saying that DOE is closed… well, that means we will be closed, too!”

You think about stuff like this, and you realize that it’s not just that school is closed; it’s that you’ve now lost your childcare on a weekday, which for the vast majority of us, is a work day. Just because our child’s school has closed does not mean we just get a free day off from work. So, childcare becomes an issue. I’m a bit luckier in that Chris doesn’t do (paid) work, so he’s a bit more flexible, but it’s still a time and energy suck for all of us juggling having Kaia home. Plus, she doesn’t want to be stuck at home all day; home is not that fun after a while, and she’d much prefer to be playing with kids her own age.

We don’t have backup childcare options. Plus, given weather, delayed trains, and icy roads, many potential backup childcare options would no longer apply. We’d all be stuck. We end up just having to half-ass childcare/child-rearing and work. And that’s not good for the child, the work, or the parent. In these cases, everyone loses.

“Maybe you can do this every year now!”

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I was telling a colleague about my birthday party after she asked. She saw the pictures and videos I posted on Instagram and was telling me how amazing the food presentation looked, and she said she wasn’t surprised I’d have such a crazy spread given it was my 40th. I told her I’d actually never thrown myself a real birthday party before this past Saturday; it took only 40 years for me to plan and host my own birthday party. I told her that planning it was so easy and fun, made especially smooth by the restaurant manager at Patok by Rach. And so she said to me, half jokingly, “So, this means that you’ll do a birthday party every year now, right?”

It’s not an awful idea. Though I would be unlikely to book out an entire restaurant in the next year or so for a non-milestone birthday year.. or pay for it all. But when I think about it, the focus would be less on the fact that it’s my birthday, but more an excuse to get people together. Whenever Chris or my friends would groan about things like bridal or baby showers, my response would always be that it’s far less about “showering” someone with gifts, and much more about just having togetherness, which no one does as much of anymore. Since the pandemic, people have led far more isolated lives, whether it’s because they live farther from people they care about, or because they simply have no desire to initiate get-togethers. Vivek Murthy, the former U.S. Surgeon General and an internal medicine doctor, has said in a podcast I listened to that the biggest epidemic he’s worried about… is loneliness. And it would be so easy for us to resolve that by being less formal or rigid about having our houses perfectly cleaned or planning get-togethers with extensive menus or programming months in advance; we can be more spontaneous with some friends and family and just lay out some crackers and cheese or pizza, and get people together just for the sake of it. And it would create warmth and connection just like that.

So who knows – maybe I’ll do something more casual and simple like that for a future birthday of mine if I am so inclined. It could even be a cupcake party — Kaia would love it!