Thanks to a stubborn dad and even more stubborn son, our travel to Kerala and Sri Lanka is actually starting while Chris’s parents are still here. Chris had told his dad not to book certain dates that could interfere with our summer travel; his dad was insistent on getting specific dates for their frequent flyer/round the world flight bookings, and so while we are leaving for Kerala tonight, Chris’s parents will be spending two more nights in our apartment until they leave on Wednesday morning for Melbourne, connecting in Dallas. What a strange idea to think of my in-laws seeing us off… from our own home.

So we gave them instructions in terms of things they had to finish eating (two mangoes, two avocados, cherries, grapes), and how to take out the trash and recyclables before they leave. What we also wonder is: what will they do in New York while Chris isn’t here to drag them from point A to point B, being their de facto tour guide and control freak son?

Today, we took Chris’s parents to Greenpoint, Brooklyn. We stopped by a semi-recent favorite spot that we’ve found: Old Poland Bakery, which is a tiny little bakery that sells an assortment of fresh breads, cakes, and other pastries. I picked up some apple cake and babka for later, and we kept going. We had a late lunch (at Di an Di! One of our faves!), so we were quite stuffed and didn’t have a regular dinner that evening. But when we got home, I insisted that we had to eat the apple cake I picked up from the Polish bakery; surely, they had to have some space for a little sweet? So Chris’s mom responded and said she’d have a small slice. Chris responded and said, no, everyone has to have their full slice (I got enough for four people, since the bakery charges for these cake slices by weight). We served the cake to Chris’s mom after Chris’s dad insisted he didn’t want any since he was too full. His mom offered it to dad, who said, “OK, I’ll just take a bite.” What ended up happening? Well, without even realizing it, he ate half of her slice, and then said quite loudly, “Oh, this is actually quite light.” Chris’s mom got mad, responding, “Tony! Just say that you want your whole piece!” (This was his usual code for, “I want more, but I don’t want to explicitly say it”). So Chris gave him his whole piece, which he ended up inhaling in just minutes. And when Chris’s dad was almost done, with just a few bites remaining, he turned to me and said, “Yvonne, this cake is absolutely delicious. Did you make it?”

I shared this story with Chris’s brother over text, to which he responded, “This story sums up Dad to a T: Not listening, saying he doesn’t want food, then eating all of Mum’s, and even has an example of Chris being a control freak.” All in all, it was a perfect summary of the von Jacob family dynamics.

Yesterday night at Korean BBQ, Kaia really stole the heart of the server who was helping us with our barbecue. Not only did she impress her by being able to eat kimchi (“SHE KNOWS HOW TO EAT KIMCHI?” the server asked me, astonished. “Yeah,” I responded. “I’ve been giving it to her since she was about 8 months old.” She then proceeded to tell one of the other wait staff this, who also murmured with amazement back), but she also impressed her with her vocabulary (being able to say “meat” and “beef!”), as well as blowing kisses. When Kaia finally got loose after she was “all done” with dinner, she started wandering around the restaurant, and each time she got close to our server, she’d demand a hug, which of course was given by our server, who clearly was obsessed with our demanding little toddler.

I wonder what the maximum age is when a little kid’s cuteness can no longer be the show stopper that Kaia is now. Everywhere we go, people stop us and oogle over what a little doll she is. And once she starts blowing kisses… it’s almost like everyone just wants to take her home with them.

Chris was out with his parents and Kaia this afternoon. They went to Central Park and the playground there to let Kaia burn some energy and have fun with the sprinklers. They eventually made their way to the Other Half Brewery at Rockefeller Center, where I met them after I finished my work day. As soon as I arrived, I thought that Chris’s dad seemed quite happy… a bit happier than he normally is. While he’s always the kind of person who sees the bright side in things and always is deeply appreciative of the littlest things, this time, he just seemed a bit… TOO happy, as in, did he have too much to drink? By the time I had arrived, each of the adults had already consumed one full sized beer each, plus a beer flight. To me, that sounds like quite a bit of alcohol per person, and for Chris’s dad, it was probably a wee bit too much. He kept remarking how amazing of a day they’d had, what a great trip this was, over and over and over again. It was a lot more frequent and with a much bigger smile than usual. Then, we went to eat Korean BBQ at a restaurant across the street from the brewery, and again, over and over, he kept declaring that this was the very best Korean restaurant and food he’d ever had in his life, that this was just the best of the best. And the other three adults kept chuckling, remarking how drunk he was, and carried on. Plus, on the way home, he kept poking and slapping Chris’s mom, who kept raising her voice at him and telling him to knock it off because he was embarrassing her.

It was quite amusing, and quite the sight to see. While I’ve always known Chris’s dad as a person who does quite enjoy alcoholic beverages, and wine in particular, I don’t recall ever seeing him in a state I’d label as “drunk” before, and it’s been quite some time — over 11 years! It was good to see him let loose and have some fun.

When our ex-nanny was here, she frequently said that if she had it her way, Kaia would have had anywhere from 5-7 outfit changes per day. Her rationale was: babies grow so fast, and so they don’t have much time to get too many wears out of their clothing. So the only way to maximize the wears was to have them wear a different outfit every few hours. While that is way too high maintenance for me, I also did not let the nanny do this just because I thought it was ridiculous. But when it comes to certain outfits, I do have my favorites, and one of the most recent ones is an Indian outfit, a top and a long skirt, that was handed down from a friend of mine, whose kids are also Indian and Chinese. Her husband, while on a work trip to Delhi, purchased the outfit for their daughter, who has since outgrown this, so she gave this to Kaia. I decided that Kaia would wear this while attending a Lincoln Center Summer in the City kids’ concert called My Paati’s Saris: Dance Story Time. And when I put her in the magenta and gold-flecked two-piece outfit, which fit her perfectly, Chris’s parents went absolutely nuts. They tried to photograph her in every which way possible to get the best angle. Even Chris’s brother was obsessed and made the photo I shared his lock screen photo on his phone. Little babies and toddlers wearing different outfits, especially cultural ones, is just the cutest sight. No one can resist them!

At 18 months of age, Kaia is extremely verbal. We’ve been excited to hear her constantly say new words and match words to objects or actions. I’ve been curious to understand at what age children are able to differentiate what language they are speaking or is being spoken, and how they are able to map that out in their minds. So far for her Chinese, most regularly, she says “xi shou” for “wash hands.” She’s also said “xi fa” for wash hair, and “mian” for noodles. I know she also associates “shui jiao” with “sleep” because she always whines and whinges whenever I say it around bedtime, then tries to make a beeline out of her bedroom. But for other things, I’m not always sure.

This morning, I was giving her breakfast, and the final part of it was sliced red grapes. I held up a bunch of grapes and asked her, “Kaia, what’s this?” She immediately smiled and responded, “Pu tao, pu tao.” In that moment, Chris’s mom got confused and asked, what is she saying? But I knew exactly what she said and just felt so damn proud. I felt like my whole body lit up.

“Pu tao! YES, BABY! That’s right! Pu tao! That’s ‘grape’ in Chinese!” I exclaimed, excitedly.

I was a bit worried when she started daycare because they always sing English songs, and it was very clear that she preferred her English songs to the Chinese nursery rhymes I’d sing her. She used to know a couple of the Chinese song verses and sing them, and even our ex-nanny noticed this. But once daycare started, she stopped, so I wasn’t sure if she’d even want to sing the Chinese songs anymore. But with this single act of saying “pu tao,” that worry got put to rest, and my hope for her continuing to learn Chinese was reignited.

I got lucky in endless ways with my baby: Kaia is growing into a sweet, affectionate little toddler. Not only does she happily kiss or lean her face in when you ask for a kiss in English or Mandarin, but she also readily asks for hugs. One day, she was just walking around our living room, came up to me, and said “Hug?” And immediately threw her arms around me and hugged me. It was so sweet that I nearly melted into a puddle.

She’s also understanding a lot more of what we’re saying. A couple weeks ago, while reading one of her favorite books, Bluey at the Beach, when we come to one of the end scenes where Bluey finds her mum out of nowhere, and they both embrace, Kaia loves to blow me kisses and hug me when this happens, and she either starts saying “Hug! Hug!” or “Muah! Muah!” It’s so heartwarming that sometimes, I just want to freeze time and play the scene over and over again.

This morning, I cut up a bunch of Kesar mangoes that Chris ordered online through Say Weee, but a lot of them were a bit too ripe to eat as whole pieces. So he suggested we turn them into a lassi. Well, I did this, and while we both enjoyed them, Kaia did not. She took one look at the small cup I prepared for her, shook her head, and said “no!” in her usual high-pitched voice, ending in a higher pitch as though she were asking a question. After repeat attempts to show it to her and have her watch us drink it, she still refused and got no FOMO from it. She just kept rejecting it. So in the end, I just drank her small portion and let it go.

Kaia has embraced pretty much every fish we’ve ever introduced to her, so we thought it would be a no brainer to give her some of the white fish jook/congee we had leftover from dinner last night. Well, she initially refused it and fought it. But after watching me eat a few spoonfuls and make “mmmmm” sounds, she finally agreed to have one bite. Then, she ended up eating all the remaining fish in the bowl, as well as all the jook.

Toddler selectivity is definitely at play here. I know for a fact she would enjoy the mango lassi, as she’s had it before after she watched me have it and gobbled it up. Sometimes, I think she just refuses for the sake of refusing. It gets tiring and definitely tests my patience, but I am still not willing to give up on introducing new/different things to her. I recently gave her some apricot, which she also repeatedly refused, though she was absolutely obsessed with them this time last year. The problem with a lot of foods she’s had and loved before is that they are seasonal, so it’s not like she can have year-round access to them. So this ends up becoming a challenge to “re-introduce” these same foods to her.

Every day, Kaia is learning even more things and becoming more aware. When she wants to go outside, she either says “shoes” or “jacky” (jacket), grabs her jacket and/or shoes, and demands to go out while saying “outside!” When I’ve come to pick her up from school each early evening, when we get into the elevator in our building, she now says “nineteen,” as when we’ve been in the elevator with others, others will ask what floor we are on to press the button for us. Next, she will ask for “keys?” She anticipates a lot more now.

This is a good and bad thing. When she sees her saline nose spray or Frida nose sucker, or the toothbrush, or hears me say “brush teeth,” she immediately starts squirming to run away or yells. She also is NOT a fan of getting her hair combed, or of having me do her hair each morning.

She also has recognized when we have replaced one word for another. After she started recognizing that “paci” referred to her pacifier, she kept repeating the word. I changed the name to “dummy” when I’d refer to it to Chris, but she quickly recognized that dummy = paci, so she’d say both words. My baby is getting too smart for us.

Since Kaia has been sick and teething on and off since starting daycare, it’s been even more challenging to keep her in her (open) crib bed throughout the night. We finally replaced our twin-sized air mattress that got a hole in it in the last week and got a queen-sized air mattress, which we covered with a fitted sheet and added a pillow to. Kaia loves her bed space; she also still has her separation anxiety, as when she sees us lying on the bed beside the crib mattress, she refuses to stay on the crib and insists on rolling over onto the air mattress where we are. Somehow, miraculously, she slept the entire night last night on the crib mattress and the air mattress. Chris found her asleep this morning — just past the crib bumper and on the air mattress, sleeping comfortably head down, with her butt high in the air — her usual comfortable, happy sleeping position. She is likely one of the only almost 18-month olds who has THIS much bed space all to herself. My silly Kaia Pookie.