It’s been a cold, miserable winter here in New York. Even though it’s technically spring now, it still feels like winter. And Chris’s parents didn’t pack for a winter trip when they came to see us. So while Chris is trying to drag them around to see as much of the city as possible, both his parents have been resisting due to the cold temperatures and the frosty wind, which this weekend, seem to be quite harsh.

It’s funny to think of us dragging them around the city when it’s cold. I then started thinking about all the cold Thanksgiving trips we’ve taken together, and even when it’s been extremely cold as it has been in Switzerland or Germany, we still trekked out and maximized our time. It’s a bit different with Chris’s parents because they’ve visited New York so many times; not seeing a museum or eating at a restaurant wouldn’t be a big deal to them. But their motivation to get out and see things on their trips here is so much lower than when we travel to cold climate places. Sometimes, I kind of just wanted to be warm at home with them, too, instead of out. But Chris would never allow it. 🙂

Today, we hosted brunch for Chris’s parents, his mother’s cousin, and his family. His mother’s cousin’s mother was also in town visiting from India, so we had a pretty full house of eight people. Everything went pretty well from the food to the conversation. The one bit that I noticed was not normal was that no one took off their shoes when they came in.

We’re a very Asian household in that we always remove our shoes when we go into our apartment. I strongly dislike outside dirt in the house, and everyone knows how dirty the streets we walk on all day long are. We step on everything from dirt to spit to dog pee and poo, and I don’t want any of that inside my house. But then, there’s always the conflict of having people take off their shoes when either a) they’re too elderly to bend down and take them off like Chris’s mom’s cousin’s mother, or, well, if they’re just older and you feel awkward telling them what to do. I felt a need to clean the floors after everyone left, but then we ended up going out because Chris was in a rush to get us out to enjoy the daylight hours on a Saturday.

Coincidentally, there’s a thread I read on Facebook where someone asks the question: “If you are a shoes-off household, do you tell people who enter your house to take off their shoes? Why or why not?” And the responses varied wildly from “always, yes,” to “never, it’s their shoes and their feet,” all the way to “to some people of some ages, yes, and over a certain age, never.”

I still don’t like shoes in the house and even take my shoes off at houses where people don’t take off their shoes.

After a long hiatus due to scheduling conflicts, I met up with my mentee for tea during my lunch break. My work schedule has been pretty chaotic the last two months, so it’s been harder to meet her for a break during the day. She just had an anxiety attack last night, and so she really wanted to see me.

It’s her spring break period, but she hasn’t had any plans to do anything fun and has been wandering around the city on her own. Her foster mom randomly decided to take a two-weeks long trip to the Dominican Republic without telling her. She left her some money and prepared a bunch of food for her in the refrigerator and told her foster dad she would be taking a vacation. She also communicated that she’d be leaving to my mentee’s social worker. But she never told my mentee directly before she left. At the same time, her foster sister, who used to be her friend before she became a part of the foster system, is in Florida for the foreseeable future and is not on speaking terms with her. The only one left at home with her is her foster dad, who works all day long and doesn’t get back until she’s fast asleep at night. So she’s scared to be alone in the house. And she’s upset because she has nothing to do during the day.

I was sitting there listening to the situation, and I wasn’t sure what to say. I’m not even sure she wanted me to say anything because she seemed like she just needed someone to listen to her. I asked a few questions to follow up, asked her how she was feeling, what she thought she could be doing to make her time productive. She seemed much calmer at the end of our time together.

We hugged before we parted ways as I dropped her off at the youth center she goes to for therapy. “You’re so calm,” she said. “I need more people like you who are just chill.”

She thinks I’m calm? Really?

To have an early celebration for Chris’s dad’s birthday, we took his parents to an upscale Green restaurant in Midtown East. It was clearly a fancy restaurant, as most of the clientele  were wearing suits and ties. We sat down, and Chris ordered a bottle of wine. The usual thing that happens when you order a bottle of wine is that the server will open the bottle and give the head male (because we still live in a sexist world) a taste. If he likes the taste, then he will continue to pour for everyone. If he doesn’t, he needs to request a new bottle and have another taste, then pour for everyone. In this case, Chris had his taste and really did not like the wine, so he asked for another bottle. The server frowned and said that he cannot return the bottle after it had already been opened. Hmmmm, then why would you even bother offering a taste? We insisted that we didn’t want the wine, and he asked his manager, who then proceeded to suggest some other bottles. Chris chose another one, and we had that one.

Why would you have the whole motion of having a taste and approving or disapproving to then say that if you disapprove, you still cannot change the bottle? The pretentiousness of restaurants like this is ridiculous.

Tonight, we took Chris’s parents to see a presentation at the School of Visual Arts auditorium on “Projects in Planning: The New LaGuardia Airport.” The designers of the new airport, which is slated to fully be ready in 2021, presented on their design, the progress, and some photos representing what we can expect when the new version of LGA is opened. It was really exciting to see this, especially in light of the fact that I’ve always disliked this airport from the moment I entered it. It looks old and shabby, it has no proper public transportation to it the way EWR or JFK have, and it’s just a poor welcome to any tourist or visitor who comes to New York City. Plus, the airport is so crazy and paranoid about flights during even the slightest inclement weather, so you’re constantly prone to delays going through it. Anyone who has ever said s/he prefers flying out of LGA versus JFK or EWR has already lost some respect in my eyes.

The new LaGuardia has two new walking bridges where planes can actually go underneath; ample windows and thus natural lighting to enjoy in pretty much all parts of the airport, and concession stands everywhere. It’s actually an experience that people could enjoy instead of just view as a place to transit through to get them from point A to point B. I’m not sure if we will still be here in 2021 to enjoy it regularly, but I’m eager to experience it and see how it compares to the travel experience going through JFK or other more pleasant and aesthetically attractive airports in the world.

For the last ten years of my career in digital advertising and technology, I’ve always been in a post-sales role. I rather be in a role that nurtures and takes cares of existing customers than hunts and gathers brand new customers. There’s certainly a skill set that is unique to both, and in a pre-sales role, there’s a very fine line between being the cheap used car-type sales guy and actually being the sales person who properly identifies customer’s needs without making them feel like they are being “sold” to. No one likes “salesy” sales pitches, as ironic as that sounds. I’m terrible with being put on the spot with little preparation or anticipation of questions, and oftentimes, that’s the exact situation that sales people have to deal with all the time.

I traveled down to Orlando to visit a customer today with a sales person that I will say… oftentimes comes off as “too salesy.” He doesn’t always prepare properly for his meetings and has a reputation for using his sales engineers as a “crutch” because he doesn’t know our product very well. Given that the goal of the meeting today was a program review and a meet and greet, it was clearly a post-sales meeting, which means that I’m the owner of it. And I’m happy to say that it went extremely well; it was probably the best all-around customer meeting I’ve had since I’ve started here. And part of the reason it went well was because my colleague and I actually complemented each other well with the types of questions and points we raised. The conversation flowed. The best presentations I’ve participated in don’t really feel like presentations, but feel like conversations that have constant engagement and back and forth from both sides. And that’s what this was. And then it suddenly hit me: maybe my super salesy sales colleague would be better suited for a post-sales, account management role.

But…. you can’t really suggest that to someone who has to hit a quota and is locked into a role at your company, can you?

When we originally moved into this apartment, it came with a liquid soap dispenser in the bathroom. It was one of the things we “purchased” as part of our “package” of furniture and other apartment items when we moved in. The soap dispenser has been acting up since we first moved in; it doesn’t immediately pop up after you’ve pushed out soap, so you have to manually pull it up. It’s been a minor inconvenience, but one that we’ve tolerated because neither of us really cares that much.

I guess it really bugged Chris’s parents, because today they immediately went out shopping and stopped by Bed Bath & Beyond to buy us a new fancy soap dispenser with a sensor on it, so you don’t even need to touch it. They probably think we’re squeezed for every last penny given our expenses and cannot even afford a new soap dispenser.

I think it has more to do with us being cheap about these little things than the lack of ability to afford buying. Our priorities are pretty clear.

We celebrated Chris’s mom’s birthday tonight at Bouley at Home, which has a test kitchen setup and is quite the departure from the former Bouley restaurant, which was further downtown in Tribeca and felt extremely formal and even a bit imposing. Many of the dishes were made right in front of us, and the entire place felt very casual and easy going. We even had the pleasure of enjoying a reasonably priced bottle of wine that was aged for 20 years. It’s rare to get a “deal” on something like that so easily at a restaurant that is as fancy as Bouley at Home.

The chef who was preparing some of the dishes in front of us had some chit chat with us, and we found out that he’s originally from Spain and just spends part of the year here. As Bouley at Home very recently opened, he spends a few months a year working here, and also spends a few months a year during the summer time working at another restaurant on a small island near Ibiza in Spain. He said he’s planning to open his own restaurant shortly, and so I started following him on Instagram to get his updates. What a nice life – to live a bi-country experience and not to call just one place home. Working in the restaurant business is hard and sweaty, but I’d love to have that experience where I could live a few months in this country and another few months in that country. That’s when I’d know I’ve “made” it.

But then again, my main “home” country is the U.S., and this country sucks when it comes to work-life balance. I know for a fact my current company would never allow that type of setup for me in my role.

Since my parents in law’s flight was delayed coming into New York today, I figured that I’d maximize my customer visit time by doing a day trip to visit a customer for an onsite program review today. My sales colleague was already planning to be in Chicago, and I figured that since the flight was so short (and also appeared to be very cheap) that I’d buy a plane ticket the day before and join her.

I guess my spontaneity didn’t work out so well. I got to the airport and got upgraded immediately. Then, after the plane left the gate, we sat on the tarmac for nearly an hour, and I knew something was wrong. They announced they realized that they needed to refuel and brought us to another gate. After sitting at the gate for another half hour, they announced that they found a problem with the engine, and that our flight would be delayed for a TBD amount of time. They let us all off the plane, and when I checked for the updated departure status, it said that it wouldn’t depart until three hours later, which would mean I’d actually be arriving in Chicago an HOUR after my meeting was slated to begin.

I called AA immediately to cancel my flight and get a refund, and then sulkily got an Uber to get back to my apartment. I’d never felt more like a flying failure than today. I went to the airport, got on a plane, then got off the same plane, and left the airport to go home. What amazing productivity.

I was at happy hour with a bunch of colleagues a few nights ago, and one of them, who is only 25, has been in the same relationship for the last three years. Her boyfriend is three years older, and at an age where a lot of his friends are getting engaged and married, so she feels like he is going in a similar direction mindset-wise, as well. She expressed some frustration around this.

“I’m so bored, Yvonne,” she said to me, two drinks in, resting her head on my shoulder. Yep, this was the truth coming out. Alcohol always does this to you. “I’m still young. I don’t want to be ‘settled.’ Everything is always the same with us. It’s soooo boring.”

I had to hold back what I wanted to say, as I’m definitely not going to be someone chiming   in to potentially break up a long-term relationship. All I said to her was that I spent almost all of my 20s in long-term relationships, and if I had to, I probably would have done it differently, especially my college years and early 20s. I obviously can’t redo it now, but if I could, I would have been single then and not settled. I told her she had to pick her own path and decide what was right for her.

Well, today marks two years since our wedding. And as always, Chris is annoying me, but as such, still eliciting emotions from me. For once in a long time, I kind of feel like almost everything in life feels good, from work to friends to my relationship. This type of “settled” I can definitely get behind.