Category Archives: Contemplations on New York Life

Jet lag continues for the husband and the toddler, and the attempt to limit screen time for our toddler

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Chris has been pretty sluggish this week. He’s even been napping in the afternoons. Kaia has been napping occasionally at school… and then also almost falling asleep at around 4pm after a period of extreme quietness that the admin alerted me to. The admin was considerate of our need to get her adjusted and sleeping overnight, so she’d nudge her before she’d fall asleep and have her eat the usual scheduled supper before pickup at 5pm. We all knew Kaia was jet lagged, but it’s hard to force her to adjust since it’s just her body clock, and she’s only three years old. The concept of “time” at this age is a difficult one. The first few days of pickup, she’s been so exhausted that she refuses to even walk, so because I rarely take the stroller anymore for school, I’ve had to carry her myself several blocks. It was tiring, especially given she was feisty and almost like dead weight because she’s been falling asleep on the trains. She’s almost 30 pounds, so definitely not a little baby anymore! My arms have gotten an extra workout this week…

When she has been awake in the evenings, it’s been a little brutal. These “thrilling threes” have been full of even more intense tantrums, bigger displays of anger and frustration, and very few things, other then presenting chocolate or screen time, have seemed to consistently help. We did more screen time during our trip because of the long-haul plane rides as well as all the times we’ve had to sit in restaurants and finish our conversations and meals with friends and family, but we’re cutting it all off now that we’re back home. We don’t want to be those parents who just immediately give their kid screens to shut them up every single time they get upset. I was pretty unhappy when we were on our flight back to New York, and Kaia barely ate anything on the entire 14.5-hour-long flight. She mainly just had milk and cartoned apple juice (to my annoyance, this was her very first time experiencing juice boxes, which I’ve tried to hold off on for as long as possible since I want her eating whole fruit only). She was either sleeping or glued to the screen, watching Pepa. This was her very first flight wearing headphones and having sound with her screen time, which she was completely enamored by. The few times I tried to get her attention and block the screen, she got angry with me and yelled, “I can’t see! I can’t see!” (It’s also hilarious because she pronounces “can’t” the Austrailan/British way, not the American way). I do not want her to become a personality-less screen zombie in her youth. That’s one of my many nightmares.

Double Crispy, aka Pu Ta Wang Bing Wu, and its popularity explosion

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I’ve been going to Double Crispy Bakery, also known in Chinese as Dan Ta Wang Bing Wu on Grand Street in Manhattan Chinatown, since at least 2018 or 2019. Since 2020, I started going there more and buying things, partly because I love their baked goods, but also because I got really worried during the pandemic that my favorite old-school Chinese businesses in Chinatown wouldn’t survive COVID-19 and the anti-Asian hatred that was stoked back then. Now that Kaia’s school is literally two doors down from Double Crispy, I go there almost every week. Sometimes, it’s to purchase breakfast items for the whole family; other times, it’s to get a treat for Kaia. Kaia’s favorite bao is pork floss bao, for which Double Crispy does an excellent version. I also love their egg custard pineapple bao, their cha siu bao, and several others. Their frozen cai rou bao and ji bao (pork/cabbage and chicken bao) are also delicious and great value. Although I do not buy their Chinese or Portuguese-style egg tarts that often, they do great versions of both (and I suppose they should given their Chinese name). For specialty items, they do a delicious variety of mooncakes throughout the year and amp up the variety and size of moon cakes around Mid-Autumn Moon Festival. I especially like their durian mooncakes. And you can never go wrong with lotus seed paste.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that Double Crispy got featured in the New York Times Cooking section and was in a video they produced that went viral. The video highlights not only the bakery’s intense production of moon cakes, but also the family’s unity, perseverance, and drive to ensure the bakery is successful and that they are producing the very best products for their loyal customers. When I saw it last September, I nearly had tears in my eyes, seeing how much the owner’s sons helped out with their dad’s business and the very clear love they all had for each other and the bakery itself. And since that video came out, the virality was palpable: each day at school pickup when I’d pass by Double Crispy, entire shelves would be wiped clean of their buns, pastries, and breads. It was as though someone had come in and ordered every single darn item on the shelf. I was happy for them and how successful they were; I chuckled to myself when I’d see tourists gathering from outside, confirming this was the same place that was featured in the NYT video, then laugh even more when I saw they weren’t just buying one or two items, but dozens upon dozens of their baked goods.

I walked into the shop today to pick up a loaf of bread and was happy to see that one of the owner’s sons was manning the cash register. I greeted him and congratulated him on the NYT feature and said that I was proud to be a loyal customer for years and years before that video came out last autumn. We made some small talk about the business and how they could barely keep up with demand, and he thanked me for my repeat patronage. And as he bagged up my bread, he neatly wrapped two egg tarts for me and added it in. “This is just a little thanks for your loyalty and support all these years,” the owner’s son said with a big grin. “We wouldn’t be here without customers like you.”

That was so sweet and totally not needed at all; free egg tarts or not, I’d still support them anyway. And if I didn’t, Kaia would just repeatedly run in there and demand every bao on the shelf to eat! One of her favorite things to do on warmer days is to run through their open doors (only open during warmer months, obviously) and point at all the different baos she wants to eat!

Jet lagged toddler, jet lagged husband

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The last couple nights’ worth of sleep has predictably been broken. Kaia has lasted at most, four consecutive hours in her own bed before screaming and crying, taking at least three to four of her stuffed animals, and dragging them to our bed. Then, she’s been waking up anywhere between 3-4, wide awake and alert, demanding to be fed immediately.

“I want cheerios. I want milk. No milk?!”

“I don’t WANT mummy to sleep. I want mummy to GET UP NOW!”

“I’m hungry! I wanna eat NOW!”

A lot of demands, a lot of whining, and lot of “the world revolves around me” comments. ‘Tis the world of a thrilling three-year-old child.

The first night back on Sunday night, Chris woke up to Kaia’s demands for food. Because the apartment is absolutely freezing, unless we have the heat turned on in each room, the unheated rooms will be frigid. So, instead of setting up the high chair in the lounge area, Chris set it up in our main bedroom’s ensuite bathroom with the light on. That way, Kaia could get residual heat coming into the bathroom from our bedroom and actually see her cheerios, and I could get darkness while sleeping in my bed. As for Chris? Well, at 3am on Monday morning when Kaia was digging into her dry cheerios in her high chair in our bathroom, Chris was in bed, on his phone, digging into a bag of Australian All Naturals fruit gummies.

This was my world the last few nights with a jet lagged toddler and a jet lagged husband.

Cheetos and pink soda sprayed all over me on the subway

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I’ve been living in New York for almost 16.5 years now. Before that, I spent four years coming to New York as a tourist. So in total, I’ve spent 20+ years walking the streets and frequenting the subway here across all boroughs. In that entire time, I’d never really had any type of “incident” happen to me on the subway…. until today.

I was already having an annoying day. I got my period a bit early yesterday, which led to a night of interrupted sleep due to cramps. They seemed to subside in the morning after I took some paracetamol and did some cardio and pilates at the gym. But my cramps came back this afternoon, and at around the same time, I started feeling a little feverish. But I insisted to Chris that I needed to go outside, so I’d still go out to pick up Pookster. When I got to the train station, the train was delayed; I had to wait 12 minutes for the next train to Chinatown. When I finally got on the train, it was packed. I stood there like a sardine in close contact with pretty much everyone else on the train… Until out of nowhere, I felt this cold liquid spray my back, legs, and shoes. At first, I thought the guy had projectile-vomited on me until I saw his Sprite bottle, which had pink liquid in it. And it had this strange odor… which I immediately realized was Cheetos, the fried cheese snack that I haven’t eaten since I was a kid. The guy who was holding it seemed totally unfazed with the pink soda bubbling over and flying all over the place; all he said was “oops!” And nothing more. As soon as I realized what happened, as if involuntarily, I yelled out, “What the fuck?!” and everyone around me, despite being packed, tried to make space and avoid the Cheeto-pink soda freak, who kept looking down and seemed like he was either high, drunk, or both. At least four or five other people got hit the freak’s Cheeto pink soda mixture, including a man in a suit sitting down near where he was standing, who took almost every tissue out of his pockets and laptop bag to wipe himself off; all the tissues were drenched with pink and orange. I gave him a sad look, which he shared back. All these people around us gave us sympathetic looks; one of them even gave me a light pat on the back as he exited the train. I got down to Chinatown as soon as I could, picked up Kaia, came home, and immediately took off all my clothes and threw them in the wash. I tried to scrub my Uggs as best as I could. I was NOT happy.

I love public transit. I really do, especially as someone who hasn’t driven a car since she was 21 and has never enjoyed driving. But this is one of those moments where I thought, “So, this is why people prefer their cars…”

The reasons to keep fighting

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It would be easy to write off the 74 million-plus people who voted for Dipshit and just sit here and be disillusioned… if I didn’t have a child of my own who has to inherit this world and live in it. But now, I’ve been sitting here, reading headlines, different publications, points of view that outline what the Democratic Party potentially did to create the total annihilation it has experienced this past week. Lots went wrong. A lot needs to change with the Democratic Party. A lot needs to change with education and disinformation and how it’s handle and addressed that will not be fixed in the next two, four, or 10+ years. But we have to keep fighting the good fight… even when those against us are just trying to kill us all.

I had the day off from work today for Veteran’s Day, as did Kaia from school. So this morning while Chris was on a call, I took her down to our building’s play room and brought along her favorite bubble machine (which I procured from my local Buy-Nothing group). I watched her gleefully run around with it and spread bubbles everywhere. She giggled, squeaked, and ran around endlessly to spread bubble literally all over the freaking room. I documented her joy through photos and videos. I stopped and just watched her in all her youth and innocence. And I just thought… she deserves a much better world than this. When she is older, how are Chris and I going to explain to her that the first presidential election she was around for, this country elected a convicted felon with a track record for spewing hate? Is this going to teach her that you can get away with literally everything you want as long as you are some rich White man?

This last week, my limbs have all felt heavier. Yet when I check my weight on the scale, I’m the exact same freaking weight. Even walking around and doing day-to-day tasks feels like it’s all been such an effort. But I have to throw myself into life and the future for the sake of my Pookster. I have to set an example for how she should be. The last thing I want is for her to repeat the line that I’ve said about my parents, the line that I read in Julia Child’s book My Life in France, which she wrote about her own regressive father: “He is an example of how not to be.” I’ve done a bit more cooking and food prep. I started reading a book that I’d been on the Libby / NYPL wait list for, for nearly five months, called Against the Loveless World, by Susan Abulhawa. It documents the life of a young Palestinian woman who lives as a refugee in Kuwait, then Jordan, then goes back to Palestine and becomes “radicalized.” I thought the title of the book was quite fitting for my general sentiment the last week, if not moving forward.

I have no words to say today

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…Other than that I am deeply disappointed in the American electorate — for those who were too lazy and disillusioned to come out and vote, for those who decided that a convicted felon would be better to lead this country than an accomplished female politician, for those who voted with complete disregard for civil rights and for the rights of those with a uterus. I try to be optimistic because I have a female toddler who is inheriting what is supposed to be one of the world’s great democracies, but it feels less and less like that is something to be proud of and stand by. And for those who vote against their own self interest… I honestly just feel sorry for you, as many of you probably have zero awareness you are doing so.

Hope and dread today

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It is scary to think that today, the United States of America could be electing a convicted felon to a second nonconsecutive term of president. Even after he denounced the 2020 presidential results. Even after he’s shown clear examples of blatant sexism, racism, and classism. I don’t have a lot of hope to be honest, especially given how close the presidential election was in 2020. But, I do have a toddler who is growing up in this very divided country where her rights are eroding every single day, so I have to be optimistic for her sake. Because… I am definitely NOT optimistic for mine.

God bless, America. Sort of.

2024 is coming to a close, and there’s so much more food to make!

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I remember when I was young, and I used to think that each day, especially the crappy and boring days, were so, so long. And now, each year in my adulthood, I keep thinking time passes too quickly. It’s exactly as people say: the older you get, the quicker you think time goes by because so much has already happened in your life. The younger you are, the less that has happened in your life since you’ve lived fewer years, so time feels like it takes forever to pass.

I looked at the calendar late last week and was shocked to see that I have only four more weeks in New York for the remainder of this year. We’ll be in Europe Thanksgiving week. Then, we have barely one week left before we head to Australia for the Christmas season. My immediate thought was: What are all the things I need to get done before we leave for the Southern Hemisphere? And what else do I really want to cook before the end of the year? What do I want to use up in my freezer?!

For the last part, I know I wanted to make bread at least twice before the end of the year, so I started that process on Friday. I started my brioche dough, which I did 60% white flour, 40% whole wheat flour for variety/health (I mean, yeah... you CAN give brioche more nutrition by using whole grains, believe it or not!), on Friday night. I let it rest (and ferment) in the fridge until Sunday afternoon, when I rolled it out, proofed it a second time, then baked it last night. The house, as always, smelled like heaven, and for two weeks, we have fresh, homemade brioche to enjoy. I will likely freeze one loaf to either enjoy the week before we leave for Europe, or our only week here in December.

I also wanted to make shrimp scampi, so I have defrosted my wild gulf shrimp from Butcherbox in the fridge for tomorrow. I want to have some of our Borgatti’s porcini ravioli, and also make the Italian sausage from Calabria Pork Store in a pasta dish (with butternut squash?) before end of year. If I have time, I also want to try out a garlic knots recipe, maybe challah again if I’m feeling super ambitious with time. If I did that, I could freeze a challah loaf so that it’s ready for defrosting in January upon our return. So many possibilities!

Our freezer is stuffed. And I need to un-stuff it before we leave. A full freezer is always a sign of richness to me. So right now, I feel very, very rich. We’re very privileged to have a full freezer and pantry.

Not all gai mei bao are made the same: a taste test of Manhattan Chinatown bakeries

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Gai mei bao (ji wei bao in Mandarin), also known as cocktail bun or coconut bun in English, and is literally translated into “chicken tail bun,” is one of the most popular types of bao in a Chinese bakery. It was originally made (according to Chinese food legends) from the scraps of leftover bread and dough at Chinese bakeries, where they’d mash together leftover scraps of bread with some sugar, butter, and coconut and try to sell them as actual bao the next day. It’s called “chicken tail” bao because of the shape of the bun itself, so there’s no actual chicken or tail in it. I always loved this bao, but I didn’t actually find out what it was called in English until several years ago. I’d try to order “coconut bao” in English and Chinese at bakeries, but I was not consistently getting the same thing handed to me. Sometimes, it would just be a plain milk-type bun with coconut sprinkled on top (ugh, so boring and plain). Other times, it would be stuffed with just coconut but nothing else. There wasn’t that buttery, coconuty, slightly sweet gooey filling on the inside that I really loved.

So the other day, I decided to do a side by side tasting of three ji wei bao: one from Nice One Bakery, one from Mei Lai Wah (famous for its long lines and pineapple cha siu bao that I think have too much fat pieces stuck in them), and one from Manna House Bakery. I always loved the Mei Lai Wah one, but I strongly disliked the lines. Plus, when I’d try to pick one up later in the day, they’d oftentimes be sold out of it, as they didn’t make as many of them as they do the bo lo cha siu bao. The Manna House Bakery one is my go-to since there’s no line or wait; it costs $1.75, the same as Nice One, which I’d never had before. Mei Lai Wah’s was the most expensive at $2.50 + tax, so $2.70. That’s over 57% more for the Mei Lai Wah one!

Well, I took them all home and sliced them to see their innards. I laid them all out side by side. The verdict? The Nice One was the worst with the least amount of filling. It was nearly pathetic and a sad excuse for a ji wei bao; that’s the first and last time I ever get one from there. The Manna House one had good filling and was tasty as always, but honestly, it could not compare to how much filling the Mei Lai Wah ji wei bao had: Mei Lai Wah’s was STUFFED to the brim with filling. Plus, the filling was just richer and had a stronger, more defined mouthfeel. The filling color for the Mei Lai Wah one was much more yellow, whereas the Manna House one was more white, which likely indicates how much more butter the Mei Lai Wah version has (for better or for worse… for taste or for your cholesterol…).

I will still get the Manna House ji wei bao out of convenience, but the best ji wei bao/gai mei bao in Manhattan Chinatown is most definitely the Mei Lai Wah one. I will always go there for the best version assuming I’m there earlier in the day and there’s no wait. I’ll never get the Nice One ji wei bao again, but I do quite love their baked cha siu bao and baked bo lo cha siu bao. Maybe my next taste test of Chinatown bakery items will be a true side by side of the bo lo/pineapple cha siu bao from Nice One, Mei Lai Wah, and Manna House next!

Chi Cha San Chen Taiwan tea in Manhattan Chinatown

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Since I was going to be in the Chinatown/SoHo area for Kaia’s Halloween parade yesterday, I decided to book a 15-minute oolong tea tasting at Chi Cha San Chen Taiwan Tea, which opened last summer on Bayard off of Mott Street. I had never heard of them before, but they had lines around the block when they opened for months and months. I always wanted to go, but I refused to wait in the crazy line. Chi Cha San Chen is a high-end tea shop based in Taichung, Taiwan. They make tea drinks with pure tea leaves grown in Taiwan (no powders), and make all their own toppings, like tapioca, jellies, etc. They differentiate themselves with what they call a “teaspresso” machine that is supposed to brew tea to ideal conditions. I had never heard of them before (and definitely didn’t know about them when we went to Taiwan in June-July 2017), but I found out that they have won international taste tests for their oolong teas. Some have called Chi Cha San Chen “Michelin-star-like” tea in the tea community. Though I am an avid tea drinker and always intrigued by different, pure teas (none of the flavored garbage. Yes, I’m looking at you, David’s Tea, UGH), I always find it a bit amusing whenever I hear about tea “awards” since tea is pretty personal. What could be delicious for one person can be completely revolting for the next.

The tea tasting was a bit of a disappointment. I thought I would get to try several teas, but instead, they only let me choose one out of the five types of Taiwanese oolong they sell. They told me that if I came back with up to three friends, we could all choose a different one so we could taste four at the same time, one each. I was not happy with this, but I figured I’d just choose one and come back at a later time. I chose the medium strength oolong. They precisely measured out exactly three grams of tea, then poured in perfectly measured tea at a specific temperature and brewed for six minutes on the dot. They strained and poured it for me in a cup that is shaped like a chawan. They wouldn’t let me have any second or third infusions (what a waste!!). While the tea was very aromatic, almost floral, and not even the least bit bitter or acidic, the “tasting” experience put me off. Tastings are supposed to include more than just one, otherwise it just seems like a sad, glorified sample. Plus, the price was quite exorbitant: 15 grams of tea, or exactly five brewings, for $22. Ouch. I’ve bought plenty of premium tea before, but only one of them, the “Chanel” of green teas, which was a bamboo green, that I got while in Sichuan, topped this price.

I think I will stick with their tea lattes and made-to-order drinks, which are all made with loose leaf, instead of trying out their vacuum-sealed loose leaf ones. I liked it, but not enough to buy it to make at home. That just seemed a bit too steep for me.