Since I was young, I’ve always loved birds, especially since I was a proud owner of a particularly cheeky and smart parakeet. Traveling to different parts of the world, particularly in Southeast Asia, Brazil, and South Africa, was eye-opening in that I finally got to see some of the most colorful birds I’d ever seen before. In South Africa, I remember the moment while on a safari, we saw the bird that Zazoo from The Lion King was named after, the red-billed hornbill; this bird had at least a dozen different colors on its vibrant feathers and was quite the looker!

But without really thinking about it, right here in New York City, a concrete jungle, exists over 270 different bird species that come and go in Central Park. While pigeons, sparrows, and American robins, and blackbirds are common sightings throughout, other lesser known beautiful birds flock all over the park, particularly in the springtime when it is mating season. I didn’t realize at least half a dozen different sparrow species existed, nor did I realize that there are endless swallows all over Central Park. Very briefly, I was able to spot a cute and plump barn swallow, noted for its deep blue coloring all along its back, a white breast, and a reddish-orange throat. I’ve also seen at least four different wild finch species, ranging in brown and white colors to even red, blue, and yellow. And somehow, what they all have in common is that their preening looks top notch, as though they are extremely healthy, and they are all quite plump and fat! What the heck are they all eating?

I’ve also had the time to observe them taking their sand baths to help with their preening and shedding excess oils on their feathers. It’s quite a sight to see them fluff up and bury all parts of their bodies into areas that are quite sandy and dusty. I suppose this is what you miss during the daily hustle and bustle, even when you are taking the occasional stroll through Central Park. You miss moments in nature like these. But I guess now I can appreciate them more during my daily walks there, listening to podcasts and observing others around me, jogging or taking their own casual walks, masks on face.

After investing about a week into making my very first sourdough starter, I am now planning to use that starter as the base of my first whole wheat bread loaf. It won’t be that sour given the starter is still young, but it will be my starting place for 100 percent fully homemade bread, no commercial yeast. And in order to make whole wheat bread, I’ll need to have… whole wheat flour, which I don’t have. I was planning to take a walk to Central Park today, but en route, I realized that the line at Whole Foods had only six people, so this was my chance to finally pick up the flour I wanted. When I got in, I noticed that nearly ALL of the all-purpose flour was gone except for two 5-lb. bags. A woman just took the second to last bag on the shelf. And for the whole wheat flour, all the name brand (Bob’s Red Mill, the related) bags were gone, and only Whole Foods brand organic was left… and only about four bags. This was really surreal, as the flour shelves are usually fully stocked. I usually the only one buying flour!!!!!!! So I grabbed a 5-lb bag and went on my merry way.

The COVID-19 pandemic has really made people crave pasta, rice, bread, and other carb-heavy foods like never before. Gluten-free is not currently particularly popular anymore, is it? But then, you know the anti-gluten people are coming for you when someone like me, who has been doing a ton of sourdough starter reading and research, gets targeted on Instagram for “probiotic gluten-free starter.”

NOOOOOOO. STAY AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEE.

With all the refunds being issued back for purchases on theater tickets and even flights, it’s almost like we’re spending money on nothing now other than food. Our grocery runs have been the biggest they’ve ever been. In the past, I was so used to making a quick stop by Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods en route home for just a handful of items whenever I needed them. Now, I’m thinking about food that we’re going to eat tonight, tomorrow, in a week, and even weeks from now, just so that we have it in stock and that I don’t have to think about it… and so that I don’t have to queue up in yet another long line for groceries the way I did last week when I waited over 40 minutes just to enter Trader Joe’s. While it was nice to shop in a nearly empty Trader Joe’s on the Upper West Side given that they are limiting the number of people entering for social distancing reasons, it was also quite eerie and surreal.

Chris is so used to having barista made coffee at work when he’s not doing work travel, so now we’re spending a lot more on fancy coffee beans than ever before. I used to rely on my office for things like bananas, morning yogurt, or even oat/cow milk for my morning tea, and now I have to buy more of all of that now. We led such frou-frou, privileged lives before in our white-tower tech companies that we never really thought much about all the “savings” we got by working at these places. And don’t even get me started on kitchen/bathroom supplies like toilet paper and paper towels. When you only use one toilet for all your bathroom runs… that toilet paper really goes much quicker than you’d think. I’ve been getting better at not using kitchen paper towels and instead relying on cloth towels, but with toilet paper, there’s really no other alternative, is there?

We’re also eating more at home, which means we are running the dishwasher more, which means more dishwasher tablets need to be purchased. And with always being home and being on high alert for the virus, we’re washing our hands even more than before, which means we need more soap. The cycle never seems to end during a pandemic of all the things you use more of that you need that you never really thought much about before.

When you are living a life of quarantine where everyone is staying indoors and non-essential businesses are closed, the weekends don’t really feel that exciting. The only better part about the weekend vs. the weekdays is that you don’t have official work or work calls and meetings, and that you don’t have to be in front of a computer throughout the day.

The most exciting thing we did today was leave the house to go to a grocery store that we’ve neglected to even enter for the last nearly three years of living here, Western Beef. It’s a nondescript grocery store with all its windows covered about three blocks away from us. I always thought it was a sketchy butcher shop until our handyman strongly suggested we go there to avoid the lines of Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods, so we went. It had a decent selection of fresh meat and fruit/vegetables at reasonable price points, and they also had a good selection of Jamaican and Dominican products. I was pleasantly surprised to see produce being sold like yucca, plantains, and aloe vera leaves. This definitely was not like Trader Joe’s or Morton Williams.

And the most exciting thing I did at home? I finally checked off Peruvian roast chicken with spicy green sauce off my “to make” list. It came out really well with perfectly juicy white and dark meat, and the green sauce tasted just like at Pio Pio and other Peruvian restaurants I’ve been to in the city. This is definitely a keeper recipe.

We were on video chat with Chris’s cousins this evening, and we talked about everything from Coronavirus to Coronavirus to Coronavirus, and then about bananas, lack of flour, sugar, and basic pantry staples at the supermarkets, to the alcohol supplies in our respective apartments. His cousin exclaimed: “See! This is what our conversations are now about, going through each others’ pantries. This is what we have resorted to. In our usual catch ups, we would be discussing work, work travel, holidays… but there’s none of that now! No one is traveling! There’s no FOMO (fear of missing out) to be had!”

That actually is all at once comforting and depressing. We’re not alone, right? We’re all alone together, stuck in our apartments and homes to entertain ourselves however we can — no trips planned for business or pleasure, no outings to restaurants, theaters, or to catch up with friends anytime in the foreseeable future. Every single one of our lives is being restricted. But I suppose we are the lucky ones; none of us have the virus or are taking care of someone who does. None of us are on the front lines, taking care of patients and thus putting ourselves at risk for COVID-19. We are extremely fortunate in our locked up states.

I will say, though, that one area of potential FOMO is what each other is eating. I was recently looking over some Facebook posts from people I know, and their lunches and dinners, to be quite frank, looked quite depressing. I’m very fortunate and privileged to have so many grocery stores around me (well, they have their queues to get in, but what can you do?), plus an extremely well rounded stock of food across our pantry, fridge, and freezer. We have many interesting meals lined up with all my recipe testing going on. My kitchen, if it were a real person, would be overwhelmed with how much attention I’m currently lavishing on it.

Four years ago today, Chris and I vowed to spend our lives together in front of our closest family and friends at a museum atop a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The weather was perfect and warm, and the ocean was crystal clear. Four years later, we are on lockdown with no foreseeable end, helplessly watching a virus that is permeating and slowly infecting and killing our fellow humans, stuck in our one-bedroom apartment, taking turns between the living/dining area and the bedroom with our customer and internal work calls and meetings. We’re leaving the apartment only for runs and walks in the park and to buy groceries. This is as close as we are going to get to being “hip to hip” and inseparable.

You never really think that in your lifetime, when you vow “forever” with anyone that you would be stuck with this person for 24 hours a day, seven days a week, without seeing pretty much anyone else. That’s not really what people sign up for when they agree to marry or coexist with a partner. But that’s what is happening. I am joining calls with customers and colleagues, complaining about their spouses, their children, being confined to a small space for who knows how long. This a trying time for many in that regard. But, I do hope we emerge stronger for this and more grateful as human beings for the literal luxuries in life that we seem to take for granted: the ability to see a friend for coffee or lunch freely, the ability to go to the gym and workout with tons of space, sitting down and enjoying a meal at a restaurant. We are not free to do any of those things right now. These luxuries are not part of our current reality. Who knows when we will get them back?

The governor of Hawaii is requiring a 14-day mandatory quarantine for anyone from mainland U.S. who comes to their island state. I knew the news would be bad for my friends who were planning a wedding the first week of May, but it was so sad to get their official message stating that their wedding would be postponed until next year due to the Coronavirus. As someone who has gone through the major efforts of planning a wedding, I realize how heartbreaking and painful all of this could be. This was truly out of everyone’s control, and nothing could have been helped in this situation.

This lockdown is affecting so many people in other ways: weddings, funerals where no one can attend, family reunions, births where the partner cannot be there in the delivery room. And on an even more depressing note, it’s scary to think of all the children and spouses who live in abusive environments whose lives are even more endangered with these lockdowns. What about those who live alone and suffer from depression? This will be particularly trying for them. It’s sad to see the effect this is having on literally everyone.

As someone who spends most of her day about food – what to make and what to eat, I have had to keep things interesting in the kitchen to avoid becoming bored or depressed with our lockdown. I finally went through the dozens and dozens of recipe links that I had bookmarked over the years and pulled out ones that I had been procrastinating on but had always piqued my interest. Today’s was “Hua Juan” or Chinese scallion “flower twist” steamed buns. I’d always loved eating these from Chinese bakeries growing up, and I didn’t even realize how simple they were to make until I found an article about them on Food52 years ago. I took out my remaining three packets of dry-active yeast. I tested the first packet, and the yeast was unfortunately dead. The second packet was thankfully still alive, so I used that to make these delicious and simple bao as part of our dinner tonight. The dough is pillowy and soft. It felt like a little dream in my hands as I lightly kneaded it today. The glaze was simple and easy to make, and creating the “flower twist” part was so much fun. I let them rise twice, steamed them in 12 minutes, and the result was the softest, airiest, most pillowy little baos I’ve ever made.

As I photographed them this evening and ate them, I gloated in my success in making them so easily without any problems. I also regretted waiting this long to make them, but hey, at least this pandemic has spurred me into action in this bread making realm!

This is our new normal. We’re now going to grocery stores like Morton Williams, Whole Foods, and Trader Joe’s, but this time, in order to get in, we need to queue up to enter, as the stores are restricting the number of people inside at any one time. Seniors and those with disabilities have a special hour before the official opening hours to enter and shop, and then the rest of us can go in. The terrible part about the special treatment for seniors is… what if a senior is just physically unable to go to the store at all and needs someone to buy groceries and supplies for them? Well, their helper/grocery-fetcher has to wait in line with the rest of us. It’s sad but true.

We arrived at Whole Foods about 20 minutes after they opened, and we waited in a short line. People fought and got angry with each other for not maintaining the 6-feet social distance that is being recommended. Others were incredulous passing by, asking if this was “really” the line to enter Whole Foods. All of Time Warner Center is closed now given it’s all retail shops, with the exception of this grocery store.

We bought nearly $100 worth of groceries, which is far more than we’d spend in a typical week, and went home. We have a good amount of supplies and food at home, but it’s better to buy a little more than what we need to ensure we can lessen the number of trips out.

I’m wondering how long this will last. It was a bleak experience in the store today, far bleaker than any other grocery trip has ever been.

Years ago, my uncle left his house for a six-month-long training he did across the country. During that time, he was concerned with the amount of dust he thought would accumulate on all his open surfaces while he was away. After his trainings were completed, he came back to the house and braced himself, thinking about all the cleaning he’d have to do. What ended up welcoming him back was a surprise: not a speck of extra dust was in sight.

He later told me that he was wrong all along: the reason dust accumulates on surfaces is actually due to the presence of humans and animals. We are constantly shedding skin and hair cells and particles whether we realize it or not. And all that shedding results in the dust that we can’t stand.

I thought about this as I stared at my coffee table while sitting on the couch during a call today, noticing the thin layer of dust on the clear glass. I’ve had to dust that freaking coffee table off twice in the last two weeks due to obvious dust. And with us being here far more often and for longer periods of time, this dust is just going to keep appearing and reappearing, resulting in my anal self having to dust and clean more. Or, maybe it was just always that dusty and I just never took the time to really notice it….? Or, is it just a combination of all the above?