Category Archives: Contemplations on New York Life

The melted microwave cover

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Whenever there are other people over, and when Kaia is around, it’s pretty much inevitable that at some point, accidents are going to happen. When Chris’s parents came back from their side trip to Asheville, North Carolina, yesterday, I had prepared some steamed scallops with glass noodles. I had the steamer setup on the main front right burner and the sauce to pour over the scallops on the left burner. Both burners were on; the sauce was on simmer, while the steamer setup was on medium-high. When I shut the steamer setup off, I took the saucepan with the scallop sauce off the left burner, but I forgot to shut the flame off. I had originally left it on because I wanted to makes sure the sauce was still hot when I poured it over the scallops and noodles. Chris has this habit (which I hate) of resting the silicone and plastic microwave cover on one of the burners whenever he finishes microwaving things. I always either tell him to move it, or more often, I just remove it from the top of the burner. He almost never cooks, and he has little awareness of which burner(s) I may have used, so it’s always a potentially dangerous situation even if the burners are off due to residual heat.

Well, that dangerous situation actually happened on Tuesday evening. The microwave cover was left on the still-on-simmer left side burner, and suddenly, I saw smoke rising into the air and smelled something plasticky burning. Alarmed, I rose and immediately went to the stove to find out that alas, the microwave cover was melting atop the still-on left burner. I shut it off and blasted the fan on. Chris spent some time scraping off the melted plastic/silicone and opened as many windows as he could to get that burning smell out.

Things like this rarely happen with us because we take pretty good care of our things. Before Kaia, we also pretty much never lost any of our items. But at least the microwave cover is cheap and easily and quickly replaced. The moral of the story is: two wrongs never make a right, especially when it comes to fire.

The best of the Buy-Nothing Group hauls

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It’s been just over two years of being a member of my area’s Buy-Nothing group, and it’s been a really great experience. I’ve had, for the most part, very positive encounters with neighbors and great exchanges on different items that we’ve either wanted or been trying to off load. Just this last week, I was able to snag something out of a competitive lottery that I’d been thinking of buying Chris for some time, but I hesitated on it since he seemed pretty satisfied with his current basic version: a Burr coffee grinder. Burr coffee grinders, versus conventional coffee grinders like the one we have (and the one my dad has always used since I was young), are different in that they produce a more consistent grind size. They also generate less heat during grinding, which helps to preserve delicate oils and flavors in coffee beans. Given these factors, they are clearly a lot more expensive than the average coffee grinder, as they tend to go for $80+. The version I was able to get, a Bodum burr grinder, dummy-proofs the process even more for you: there is a guide right on the lid showing you which grind setting to choose depending on the type of coffee drink you are making. Then, it also has a timer built in; you just have to select how long. Thus, there’s less guess work this way! Along with the Burr grinder, with the same bundle, I got a bag of partially used ground beans that I plan to use for cold brew, a brand new one-pound bag of Costa Rican whole beans, a brand-new, still sealed electric milk frother (which I’d also been wanting, but didn’t really want to spend money on… even though it only costs at max $10), and a portable tea kettle, which I am planning to re-give.

Of the things I’ve gotten from of being part of this amazing Buy-Nothing group and community, these are most definitely the best and most useful items I’ve ever scored:

  1. Endless toddler/school-age books for Kaia
  2. Swim floaties in multiple formats (all of which have been regifted, other than the current puddle jumper which Kaia now uses and fits)
  3. Baby Bjorn potty for potty training
  4. The Oh Crap! potty training book
  5. The majority of Kaia’s toys, including a dozen Lovevery toys, a massive collection of cars, trucks, Hot Wheels, a very sturdy and like-new yellow dump truck, and Peppa Pig vehicles. Her favorite right now is the big Peppa ice cream truck she actually sits and rides on. I’m amazed it hasn’t been broken yet…
  6. Toddler training knives
  7. Toddler popsicle molds
  8. Two brand-new, full sized Dr. Bronner castile liquid soap bottles, which I use for multi-purpose cleaning. This stuff lasts forever because a little bit goes a long way! We still have 1.5 bottles left!
  9. Burr grinder and brand new milk frother
  10. Chemex coffee maker, with a near-full box of paper filters
  11. Real Pyrex brand liquid measuring cup
  12. Vintage Pyrex mixing bowls – all of varying sizes and different bright colors
  13. Bundaberg ginger beer – of course, these were for Chris
  14. Farmers market GARLIC – eight super fresh bulbs with fat cloves!
  15. A nearly full bag of organic, culinary grade lavender
  16. Organic mushroom matcha

I’m grateful to be a part of this group; I’m also grateful that I’ve been able to off load so many things that we have that we either do not use or no longer need — I’m all for declutterring, helping others to declutter, and also contributing to the circular economy!

La Morada – Indigenous Mexican and Oaxacan cuisine in the Bronx

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During the pandemic, Chris and I walked through the South Bronx and attempted to go eat at La Morada, a Oaxacan restaurant that is not only known for serving indigenous Mexican cuisine, but also feeds those in need through The Mutual Aid Kitchen. But alas, we were out of luck: they were actually closed on the Saturday we went. At that time, they were open only during the weekdays. We were able to come back today and enjoy some very chocolatey and slightly spicy mole poblano with the most delicious oven roasted chicken, rice (which was likely cooked in chicken broth, and luxurious black beans. We enjoyed it with a jamaica drink (hibiscus tea) and ended with a proper Mexican hot chocolate. Marco served us; his mom is the chef and owner. It was a warm, homely family-run and owned restaurant. And they were so warm and kind serving us and answering any and all of our questions. Everything about the place took me back to Oaxaca, from the decor on the walls to the open kitchen to even the plates and bowls our food was served in. Unfortunately for Kaia, she didn’t get to enjoy any of the food since she had passed out right before we arrived at the restaurant.

I later read more about La Morada and found out that their family actually has undocumented status, yet they are still so resilient, run their own business, feed those in need, and run a community garden, where they actually source a lot of their own vegetables and fruit. I found it shocking that they’d be so open about this, especially now with the current political climate. But it’s clear that they have guts and perseverance. It almost makes me want to go up there more often just to support them — and eat through their delicious menu, which I’m sure pretty much no other place in New York could replicate, and definitely not at their price points.

New Yorkers hate on New Jersey; New Jersey people hate on New Yorkers

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I have a friend who is originally from Texas, but moved to New Jersey when she was in high school and has been there ever since. She’s the only person I know who lives in New Jersey and regularly and proactively loves coming into New York City; everyone else I have met who is New Jersey based (most of whom were born and raised there, as well) avoid New York City completely unless it’s for work; they abhor the mere idea of coming into the city on a weekend or when it’s not for work. She never whines or whinges about coming into the city; she’s always happy to drive in and meet me. In fact, I have only ever seen her in Manhattan; so far, I haven’t gone to Jersey to visit her even once (maybe I am a bad friend, but she doesn’t seem to mind this thus far). No, it’s not just for work, as she is 100 percent remote in her job; it’s because she recognizes that New York City is literally the center of the country (if not the entire universe) for food.

She was hating on New Jersey people the other day and saying how mad she gets with their attitudes of New York City. She said she couldn’t stand how closed minded the average Jersey person was; most of them are born and raised in Jersey and never, ever leave. They don’t even want to go into NEW YORK CITY, she said. How can anyone be against New York City? she lamented. That’s like being against culture, against diversity, against life! She says the only reason she doesn’t live in the city is that she cannot afford it; plus, she’s trying to spend as little money as possible on housing so that she can meet her personal life goal of retiring by the age of 50.

I was shocked when she always wanted to hang out in New York and was so willing to drive to see me. She insisted it was never a big deal; she was used to driving and driving everywhere, so it was just her means to get everywhere. And when I told Chris this, he said it makes sense that she is happy to do this given she’s not originally from New Jersey and is from Texas, where anyone and everyone need a car to get around, and that’s just what life is there.

I thought about this during my day trip to Morristown, New Jersey, today, for a customer meeting. I basically spent all afternoon in a popular suburban town. It has an upscale, small town feel. Before my meetings, I met up with a local colleague who was attending the meetings with me, and we caught up over coffee. This colleague, who I get along with really well, is like one of those New Jersey people that my friend complains about: born and raised in New Jersey and unlikely to ever leave; rarely travels to see new things. He loves to nudge me every time I chat with him and ask when I am moving to New Jersey with my husband and daughter. And I always smile and say the exact same thing:

“Nope, no plans to ever move to New Jersey. I think Chris would much rather die. And I think I agree with him.”

New York City laws for food establishments regarding restrooms

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As someone who admittedly has to pee fairly often (well, I do consume over the recommended amount of water per day), I always prefer to patronize establishments that have restrooms. Typically, if you are going to a sit-down restaurant in New York City, you can pretty much be guaranteed a restroom. With cafes and bakeries, though, this is very much on a case-by-case basis; it’s never a guarantee, and the vast majority of them will not provide a restroom for customers. So the rare times when I do find a restroom for customers, like at the popular bakery Almondine in Dumbo (likely one of my all-time favorite almond croissants, plus their hot Valrhona chocolate is more than worth it), or Paper Sons Cafe (a relatively new, family-owned cafe with excellent coffee drinks) in Manhattan Chinatown, I always appreciate it so much. And when I share these businesses with other people, whether it’s in public reviews or just by mouth, I always make sure to highlight it. It’s just a really big nice-to-have for a smaller establishment like a cafe or bakery. It ultimately just shows kindness and empathy to the customers who are frankly keeping you in business.

So you can imagine that I was pretty annoyed when I found out that a Japanese restaurant that had opened in East Village last year called Okiboro House of Udon, had no restroom. I was shocked. You’re charging $23 a bowl for udon, and you cannot even be considerate enough to your customers and have a bathroom? For the first 6-8 months when this place first opened, I was constantly seeing it all over social media; it had lines around the block and waits of 2-3 hours. People would just stand there for hours on end to sit and eat there for 30-40 minutes and leave. I knew I wanted to eventually go once the hype was over. So my pregnant friend suggested that we go there for dinner tonight; neither of us had ever heard of Himokawa style udon before, and we obviously had never had it. Unlike regular udon, with its fat and rounded noodles, Himokawa udon is a traditional, wide, and flat udon noodle that is known for its smooth, chewy texture and is often served hot or cold with a dipping broth. I said we could — but only if we went right at open time to avoid any potential wait. I warned her, especially given she’s pregnant, that it didn’t have a bathroom, but she said she could go to a cafe nearby after where her friend works, and she could use the restroom there. For her sake (and well, partly mine), I checked the latest Google reviews to see if they had added a bathroom. Unfortunately, we were out of luck: all the latest reviews still noted and complained about the lack of restroom. The owner kept responding to the reviews noting the lack of restroom and saying that because the restroom they had was only accessible through the kitchen, customers were not allowed to go through the kitchen to use it given that violated NYC health code. So, they could not allow customers to use it.

I felt like this was a total cop out, and frankly, it’s just bullshit. They would have known this was a law before deciding to lease the space and take over it as a restaurant. They could have easily incorporated a restroom into the design of the restaurant while it was being constructed like every other restaurant does. They’re making an excuse for something that they were just too lazy and cheap to do. I went to look up the local health code laws, and I found this out: If a food service establishment has 20 or more seats and opened after 1977, it must provide a toilet for its customers. I quickly counted the number of seats in the small space that is Okiboro House of Udon: those bastards — they have 18 seats! It’s like this purposely did this just to avoid having to build a damn bathroom that was accessible to customers!!

Was the food good? Yes. Was it good enough for me to want to come back given all the other incredible food establishments across New York City, plus the fact it lacks a basic bathroom? No.

The hype has died down. Okiboro House of Udon — good luck to you.

Kaia’s caterpillar worries

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After 17 years of living on my own, not in my parents’ house, and no longer in college, I have finally found the optimal way to store basil to keep it fresh for as long as possible: place the stems in a tall glass with some water and position them like they’re a bouquet. Then lightly drape a plastic bag over them. Replenish the water every day, ensuring that none of the leaves are submerged. Somehow, with this process, I was able to keep my Thai basil stems fresh for seven days; on day 7, they looked like they were just as fresh as on day 1!

The basil I had was so fresh that somehow, for seven days, a little caterpillar was able to rest and stay alive on its stems that long. I didn’t even catch it until today when I was replenishing the water in the glass, and I found that the caterpillar was crawling off a stem on my kitchen counter. I immediately looked at it, realized what it was, and then told Kaia to come look; I wasn’t sure she had ever seen a real caterpillar before. The only “encounter” she’d had with a caterpillar was in Eric Carle’s famous book, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, which she loves and has read on repeat for the last two years. When she came over to look at the caterpillar, she examined it closely and started smiling. Then, Kaia ran into her bedroom, grabbed her copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and then brought it over. She held the book next to the real caterpillar and said, “They aren’t the same!” I told her that they weren’t the same, but they were, in fact, moving the same way.

A bit later, I told her we had to release the caterpillar outside to make sure it got some food and could be free. She waved “bye bye!” to the caterpillar as I released it into a bush. We went about our day outside.

Later that evening, after we had finished bedtime stories and I tucked her in, I kissed her good night and left her room. About an hour later, she slowly opened her bedroom door and had a sad face.

“What is it, Pooks?” I asked her. “What’s wrong?”

Kaia hesitated for a second and then whispered, “I want to know what happened to the caterpillar. Is it okay?”

I brought her back to bed and tucked her in once again, and I assured her that the caterpillar was doing just fine. I’m sure he had something to eat and was probably also getting ready for bed, as well, as all living things had to sleep.

She then did her “side eye” thinking face and said in Chinese, “Does he also need to shower and brush his teeth?”

Yes, I said, I’m sure he does his version of both.

She smiled. “Okay. Good night, mummy! Bye bye!”

My sweet, caring Kaia Pookie. Her empathy and thoughtfulness never cease to amaze me as it appears in different forms. I imagined her lying in bed for that last hour, worrying about the little caterpillar friend we had set free almost 10 hours before. It was so sweet. Her innocence always warms my heart.

Chinese dinner banquet-style eating will never be the same

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Tonight, we went downtown to Chinatown to pick Kaia up from school before heading off to one of our old standbys for dinner, Wu’s Wonton King. We started going here way back in 2016-2017 when I first discovered it. While they are obviously known for their delicious wontons, they are also known for their high quality Peking duck, which pre-pandemic, they used to present whole to you, and then beautifully slice up table side and insert each carefully cut piece into a little hot and steamy mantou bun, then dress it with a bit of hoisin sauce and thinly sliced scallions. They would place all of these pieces in a neat steam tray, then also give you a plate on the side with the whole duck legs. Chris said that his parents being in town was a good opportunity to take advantage of ordering more things given we’d have more mouths to feed.

Yes, in theory, that is the case. But alas, with age, all of our appetites have declined, especially his parents’. And well, Chinese dinner banquet style eating will never quite live up to the same memories or expectations I had when I was growing up, when we’d have semi-regular Cantonese feasts out with my grandma, parents, Ed, three cousins, and their parents. My grandma would always do all the ordering. We’d always start with a hearty soup, followed by various massive platters of seafood, meats, and vegetables, along with a huge family sized portion of rice. And the meal would always end with a complimentary dessert soup. It was usually red bean, but if we got lucky, it was taro sago. You would never leave this meal hungry.

Tonight, we ordered a whole Peking duck, a whole steamed fish (which I think was rock cod), egg tofu and vegetable casserole, and a platter of stir-fried pea shoots with garlic, plus rice. Was it more than we usually order when it’s just Chris, Kaia, and me? Of course. But the variety of food will never hold a candle to the variety I had as a child in my ten-person-family meals out. You really need more hungry mouths to feed, as well as mouths that appreciate variety. Plus, the things I really crave, like ginger garlic sauteed lobster or crab, his parents wouldn’t really appreciate much.. and frankly, neither would Chris. His dad always says he doesn’t “take” crab or lobster. His mom seems ambivalent to it. And well, the apple never falls that far from the tree: Chris thinks that crab and (lesser so) lobster are never worth the manual labor. Kaia enjoys crab and lobster if it’s fed to her, but she doesn’t quite go “crazy” over any seafood that much.

Who knows — maybe one day in the not-so-near future, we’ll have a group of friends who would be willing to indulge like this. And with prices on literally everything rising and inflation going nuts, that time seems like it’s quite far away. For Lunar New Year this year, I spent about $22 on a whole fish and steamed it ginger scallion style as I usually do. This whole fish at Wu’s, which was about twice the size of the LNY one, was almost $70. Are we paying for the labor? Yes. But while it was nice to have someone else make it for me, I couldn’t help but feel like I was kind of being price gouged.

Haw mok and Thai cooking fun

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Today as part of our dinner at home, I made haw mok, also known as Thai red curry custard with fish. I’d never heard of it until I saw a video that Pailin posted on her YouTube channel, Hot Thai Kitchen, but it sounded easy enough with ingredients I either already had or could easily source, so I decided to make it. It came out tasty and had a nice presentation, as it was steamed in a cake pan on top of banana leaves, which added additional fragrance to the curry custard.

While steaming the haw mok, I realized I had come a long way with my comfort with Thai cooking. I remember when I first moved to New York and how intimidated I was by Thai cooking in general. I lived in Elmhurst at the time and was surrounded by endless delicious and fiery Thai restaurants with lots of chilies and spices. I didn’t realize then how straightforward Thai cooking could be. Now, it seems like I’m always tinkering with some Thai recipe at least once a month. My comfort with Thai cooking and ingredients has grown to a point where we almost regularly eat something Thai or Thai inspired at home. And after Chris got me a bunch of Burmese ingredients, I’ve been learning more about Burmese cooking and techniques, as well. In the last week, I’ve been reading Burma Superstar’s cookbook, which has gotten me acquainted with different ingredients I’m not used to as well as ways of cooking that are most definitely a fusion of Chinese/Southeast Asian/Indian cuisines. This makes sense given Myanmar’s geographic location. Who knows – maybe I’ll get super comfortable with Burmese ingredients, and they’ll also be regularly on rotation at home, as well.

A friend I made recently who is also really into cooking said that people like me aren’t very common — people who not only are adventurous eaters, but also actively learn about different cultures’ food and cooking techniques. To be honest, I don’t even know what I would do with a lot of my spare time if I didn’t spend it reading and learning about this stuff. Food is an important part of our lives to live (duh, you have to eat), it’s a key part of our health and well being; it’s an integral part of our cultures and identity. What else would I do with all my time outside of family, travel, and work, if I didn’t spend it thinking about food?

The times when tough love is necessary: when you make the same mistakes during your workout twice

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As long as I’ve been living in our current building, I’ve had a friendly relationship with our building gym trainer. He’s a trainer who works at multiple sites under the same building management company and also has his own personal training business. We have gotten along and had some interesting conversations over the years. Sometimes, when he has a free moment and sees I am struggling with something or could improve my form, he will stop and help me. He’s not officially my trainer; I’ve never paid him (though I did give him a Christmas tip this last year), but he’s given me endless good advice and is just an overall fun, smart, good person to have around when you’re exercising.

Currently, I’m wrapping up a strength training program via my Alo Moves app, and yesterday, the session had some kettle bell-like movements. About five years ago, I injured my lower back using kettle bells. After that incident, I decided to swear them off, and I haven’t used them since. I told our trainer about this then, and he told me it was most definitely a form issue. He showed me the movement and the parts to focus on. But I shook it off and just avoided them like the plague. Then this week, I figured since it had been a while that I could revisit the kettle bell motion. Well, I messed up once again, even after five years: I woke up this morning with a back that just… did not feel aligned, and I knew immediately what the culprit was. I wasn’t in pain, and there was no clear tweak or pinch, but I definitely felt like I was walking around with something crooked in my lower back. I did lots of stretching and twisting to try to get my back in line.

I walked into the gym this morning and told him, “I’m never using kettle bells ever again.” He gave me a concerned look, but he was in a training session with a trainee at the time. I got on a treadmill for my cardio session. Once he was done and I was near the end of my cardio session, he walked over to me and stared me dead in the eye. He snapped his fingers and motioned for me to get off the treadmill, stat.

With that fierce look in his eyes, I knew that shit was getting real. And I had a feeling that if I didn’t get off that treadmill in that instant, he would have probably stopped my machine and pulled me off.

First, he told me he knew what I was doing wrong. And when I did the kettle bell (or, well, what I thought was the kettle bell) motion, he confirmed what his suspicion was: my form was wrong. And when he observed more and touched my abs, he declared that not only was my form wrong, but I wasn’t engaging my core enough. “A kettle bell swing is a hinge, NOT a squat!” I tried again. “What did I say about the squat? No squat. HINGE. Too much bend in the knees. You need to feel this in your hamstrings. Squeeze that core. SQUEEZE. IT. I NEED THOSE HIPS MORE SOLID!” And then, if that wasn’t bad enough to identify two things I was doing wrong, he said he could tell from my hips that I was neglecting my pre-exercise glute-strengthening exercises he taught me that he insisted I had to do as a warm-up before any, any exercise moving forward. Geez, he’s like my mom; I can’t hide anything from him…

“This is not just to address an injury: this is to warm your body up so that you have a strong foundation,” he admonished me as I sheepishly admitted I hadn’t done the pre-exercises in a month. “As we approach 40, different things in our bodies just get a little weaker, and we have to give them extra love to prevent injury. You have to focus, focus, focus, engage your core, and do the pre-warm up before all else. This is for your health, your wellness. Don’t just mindlessly exercise without thought. You need to focus!”

He said we’re all guilty of mindlessly exercising, of not engaging our core, of getting lazy with warming up. But we needed to do this things even more as we get older. He’s totally right. I probably needed this scolding, this “tough love” wake-up call to call out that even if I am working out 5-6 days a week, none of that really matters if my focus is off or if my form is incorrect or if my stability is a bit wobbly. Sometimes, we really need to get back to basics to get to where we want to be. And it’s really easy to forget the basics when you’ve been exercising so regularly for decades.

Cooking mistakes happen in twos – the hot cross buns without crosses

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Since as long as I have known Chris, he has talked about how much he loves hot cross buns at Easter. He’s not a religious person at all, but he did grow up in a Christian family and with Easter traditions. And one of those traditions that exists in both Australia and the U.K. is having hot cross buns on Good Friday. These are lightly spiced, lightly sweetened fluffy bread buns that are usually filled with raisins and dried currants. They always have their unmistakable white crosses on the top. I originally always thought they were like a frosting, but I subsequently learned after reading recipes for hot cross buns that they are actually a flour-water paste that are piped on just for the appearance of a cross. Once the buns are baked, they are then slathered with a light sugar/honey/citrus glaze so that the outside has a faint sweetness.

I researched a few recipes to attempt to make this, but I wasn’t quite sure which one to go with. Chris found a recipe that claimed to be “the best” in Gourmet Traveller. It combined the famous recipes of three different well known chefs, and so I figured it would be a good one to use. Unfortunately, the explanations weren’t very clear as to “why” things had to happen, so I ended up going astray. For one, it uses instant yeast; I only had dry active yeast at home. But I’ve successfully subbed in dry active yeast on many other bread recipes, and I figured this wouldn’t be any different. That is, until I noticed that while the dough was rising, it wasn’t rising as much as I had anticipated. And I started going down a Google/ChatGPT rabbit hole, trying to figure out what I did wrong. And then I found it: milk has enzymes that tend to prevent dry active yeast from fully allowing doughs to bloom, and so it’s best to either avoid using the two together, OR to scald the milk and allow it to cool to a lukewarm temperature. The scalding would deactivate those competing enzymes.

This recipe suggested warming the milk until “lukewarm.” Nowhere did it say to heat it until scalding or why. Other hot cross bun recipes discussed this, but this one did not. I was beyond pissed.

It wasn’t a complete failure, as the yeast did not get killed and was clearly active. The buns were rising, just not as much. So I proceeded with the recipe. The second mistake I made was thinning out the flour-water paste too much for the crosses; it needs to be really thick to hold not just its shape, but also the white look of the crosses through baking at a high temperature. My crosses after piping looked fine. But once I put them in the oven, I could see immediately that the crosses were thinning out… and they eventually faded so that you could barely see them at all!

When the buns came out, they looked like what my friend called “a cross between wanting to be a cookie or a scone.” Chris looked at them and said, “What happened to the crosses? Wow, you really are godless.” But then, we both ate one each tonight, and I happily yet reluctantly admitted that the flavor was still spot on, and while the bun wasn’t as fluffy as I had hoped it would be, it was still pretty fluffy and light. It even had crispy edges and bottoms.

“Good hot cross scones!” Chris declared.

This was even more frustrating that this happened tonight after my garlic chips debacle yesterday. Mistakes in the kitchen happen in twos…