Category Archives: Contemplations on New York Life

Observation days for after school enrichment

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Kaia is enrolled at the after school program at her school. In addition to general after school, which is supposed to have a mix of structured activities and homework help, parents also have the option of enrolling kids in specific enrichment programs. These can range from arts, robotics, and musical instrument learning, to sports like tennis or soccer. We enrolled Kaia in chess and soccer. Chess would be good to learn an important game and strategy (this is a game I’ve never actually learned to play!), and soccer would be good for her to learn a team sport. This week, the school has given parents the ability to watch the kids in action with “observation days.” We can show up during the last 15 minutes of the program to see the kids doing their given activity.

I was the first parent to show up at the observation for today’s soccer. About five other parents trickled in. And I’ll be honest: I wasn’t that happy about what I saw. I saw a single adult coach trying to manage over 20 kids of ages ranging from kindergarten to fifth grade. Half the kids were participating in some form and listening, while the other half were goofing off, doing their own silly things (Kaia included, unfortunately). I really think there should’ve been at least one other adult for authority and direction. Being a lone coach amongst this many kids varying in ages is too tough. For the entire 15 minutes I was there, I don’t think I saw Kaia kick the ball even once! Based on what I watched, I am not fully clear she even understands the idea behind soccer, that you need to kick a ball into a net, and on the flip side, you need to prevent the other team from getting the ball into your team’s net!

I think Kaia knew I wasn’t pleased even though I never said anything. On the scoot back home, she occasionally would stop and say, “Mama, I kicked the ball before you came!” That’s my sweet baby for you.

I never played organized sport other than during PE classes. While I found some sports more fun than others, I don’t think anyone would say that I was even remotely athletic. In middle and high school, I used to win competitions for running (sprinting) and for exercises like sit-ups, push-ups, and pull-ups (abs and arms of steal :). But that was really it for me. So if Kaia isn’t good at any sport, I am definitely not going to be that disappointed. But in the very least, I hope she understands the sports and tries to participate!

Cooking with my Costco and local Vermont goodies

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Every time we come back from a road trip, we always make a stop by Costco on our way back to take advantage of having a car. So of course, we come back with the car fully loaded, and I always tell Chris when we get back, “We’re rich!” It feels that way because when your fridge, freezer, and pantry are stocked to the point of nearly overflowing, it really does make you feel rich: you have plenty in a house of plenty in a land of plenty, and that feels very full. It also makes me grateful that we can actually afford to stock up on our staples, as I am very well aware that not everyone has the ability to do this.

In addition to the Costco stocking up we did, we also got way more consumable items in Vermont than I originally imagined: this includes a bottle of local whisky, a bottle of local bourbon, orange wine, chocolate raspberry wine from New Hampshire, and honey mead. The whisky and bourbon we tasted and purchased at the Burlington Farmers Market, the orange wine is from the Shelburne Farmers Market, and the last two bottles are from the fine food and drink marquee at the Stowe Foliage Arts Festival. In addition, we also got local organic chestnut and lion’s mane mushrooms and a brie-style goat cheese at the Burlington Farmers Market, a quart of Very Dark maple syrup and maple balsamic vinaigrette, fancy marshmallows, and chocolate from Adagio Chocolate shop in Middlebury. It was quite a local Vermont food haul! If it wasn’t already clear, I love Vermont!

Today, I spent a good amount of time cooking some of our new foods and ingredients. I seared and sauteed my lion’s mane and chestnut mushrooms; they browned beautifully and have a delicious, earthy, almost nutty flavor. They are almost even a little sweet! We sampled a little of these (Kaia loved the chestnut mushrooms the most!), but I’m planning to use most of them for toast with goat cheese. I sautéed half a pound of spinach from Costco, roasted a pound of brussel sprouts (Costco!), made a maple balsamic roasted salmon with my new vinaigrette from Greens Sugarhouse. I also cooked my last bag of Rancho Gordo Blue Goose Field Peas and some brown rice. And on top of all that, I made my third batch of fresh, homemade soy milk! I always feel good when I’m cooking with new and fresh ingredients. This meal felt like fall to me! Now, all I needed to add was some butternut squash to the mix!

Costco vs. Sam’s Club: A side-by-side comparison in a single day’s visit

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Earlier this year, Chris got a cheap Sam’s Club membership through a credit card offer. For wholesale warehouses, I’ve only ever had exposure to Costco since that’s where my parents go. I’ve never even stepped foot into a Sam’s Club or BJ’s, but I’ve heard decent things about both. So today on our way back home from Vermont, we stopped first at a Costco in Massachusetts to buy the bulk of our supplies, and then at a Sam’s Club in Connecticut just to check it out.

Overall on like for like items, what I’ve read about is true: there is a small price difference between same or very-similar items, and Sam’s Club does end up being a little cheaper. I was pleasantly surprised to see the selection of skin and body care products at Sam’s Club; anecdotally speaking on this one visit, I was impressed to see the sheer number of brands and variety of items they had here; the range is undoubtedly larger for this type of product at Sam’s Club than at Costco. If you are interested in Korean skincare, they had at least six different brands represented, which is more than I’ve ever seen at a single Costco location.

It’s partially my brand loyalty to Costco (Costco can do no wrong in my eyes!), but I think I prefer the Costco Kirkland Signature brand and packaging over Member’s Mark. I also like that Costco has especially made and designed products with specific brands that are just for them. My one little “indulgence” I like to get at least once a year is their jumbo-sized four-pack set of Mrs. Meyers’ liquid hand soaps; I love Mrs. Meyers’ soaps! (One of my friends made a comment and said that it’s totally a “me” thing that I would consider soap to be an indulgence given I am such a clean freak, but hey, to each their own!). Some years when we visit Costco, I choose Mrs. Meyers’s standard everyday scents (last year, I found their “Tomato Vine” scent fun). This visit, I got the holiday scent set, which includes apple cider and elderberry (the latter scent is NEW!). The reason these are special for Costco is that the standard liquid soap bottle for Mrs. Meyers is 12.5 oz (370ml) ; these bottles are 16 oz (473ml), so you get 3.5 oz (104ml) more product; you can tell the size difference between the bottles right away if you hold them up side by side! Chris also got the same brand but different style of toilet paper at Sam’s Club, As soon as I opened the packaging and took the toilet rolls out, I could tell immediately these were smaller and inferior to the Costco ones.

Seeing the food similarities and differences was fun. For the meat and seafood, on first glance, the Costcos we’ve visited have had better range and variety, especially for the organic meat and wild-caught seafood. Costco also seems to have higher premium cuts of meat than Sam’s Club did. This Sam’s Club location had a larger variety of farm-raised seafood and “conventional” meat. I also think for packaged food (yes, including lots of highly processed snacks), Sam’s Club had a larger range and more variety within types of items. Overall, I’d say that the Costco snacks lean healthier (lower added sugars, higher protein, lower carbs, etc.). Costco’s variety of coffee and tea is definitely better than Sam’s Club: I don’t think I saw any coffee at Sam’s Club Chris would seriously consider buying. And when I saw that the only packaged tea this Sam’s Club had was Lipton, I knew I could never rely on them to be my wholesale warehouse of choice!

So yes, while for a number of items, it is true that Sam’s Club is cheaper (whether it’s by 10 cents or $1.50 for the same item and quantity), I still think Costco’s average assortment feels more premium and better curated than Sam’s Club. While I appreciate that we have a discounted Sam’s Club membership for a while, I still stand by Costco, Kirkland Signature, and my premium, especially curated source of Mrs. Meyers’ liquid hand soaps… amongst other things. And no one can ever take away my Costco-sized 13.5-lb/6.12kg bag of baking soda, which we really do go through (and which Chris pointed out to me when we got back tonight because our last bag before the one we got today is likely to end by December or January!). I don’t know how anyone properly cleans their homes and laundry without this baking soda bag!!

Plus, if we really have to look at both Costco and Sam’s Club all around, I think it’s pretty obvious that Costco wins as an overall company and employer. After listening to the Costco Acquired podcast episode, my love for them was solidified in STONE. If I could marry a store, it would be COSTCO FOR-EVER.

Oh, and if you were curious: we picked up three things during our Sam’s Club visit: a large 3-pack of nasal saline spray (how riveting!) and two zip-up hoodies for Kaia that she insisted she “needed”: one was Hello Kitty and Friends (the trifecta!), and one was Ariel/The Little Mermaid with little “fins” on the end of the hoodie. Even my sweet little Kaia has embraced Costco and now Sam’s Club!

When your baby calls out in the middle of the night

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Chris and I take turns putting Kaia to bed. Since there’s two of us and one of her, it makes the bedtime routine easy and predictable. Back in the days when we had to wake up Kaia in the middle of the night to pee, I would honestly dread the nights when it was my night to put her to bed because this also meant I needed to do the middle-of-the-night “dream pee” with her (does anyone like interrupted sleep?!). Back then, I had to set an alarm (anywhere from 11pm to 3am) to wake her up (okay, half wake up) to pee. In the beginning of overnight training, we both would wake up, one earlier in the evening, one in the early hours of the morning. So when we went down to one wake up/overnight pee, it became easier and more manageable. But the funniest part when we went down to one dream pee per night was that Kaia always knew which side of the bed to go to, mine or Chris’s, in the nights when it was our turn. Chris found this amusing and pointed it out to me one day. I thought this was very astute of her. Even though we never explicitly told her, she knew that if one of us read to her and put her to bed, then that same person would also be responsible for having her pee in the middle of the night. And likewise, if she had a night disturbance or cried for some reason, it was that same person’s job to wake up to go soothe her.

Although I was happy and proud when she finally slept through the whole night without needing to pee (or pee her pants!), I also felt a little sad. It was like those posts I see on social media where they say that as parents, you don’t always know when “the last time” is when you get to do something with your child. Sometimes it can be a bit shocking, as though something has been taken from you before you were ready for it to be taken away, or as though your baby has moved onto the next phase of their life faster than you were prepared for. Here’s a tangible example: I can’t remember the last time I gave Kaia a proper bath in a tub, but I remember that whenever that last time was, I didn’t realize it would be the last time. She just suddenly decided and declared one day that she didn’t want to do baths. Chris said it would be easier, so he agreed to give her a shower. And that was that. Since then, she’s only had showers we’ve given her!

So in the wee hours of this morning, at around 3:12am, I awoke to a seemingly far-away moan. “Mummy! Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!” Kaia cried, over and over again.

Kaia was sitting on her bed, eyes wide open, blankets in a disarray. Sluggishly, I dragged myself out of bed to see what was bothering her. I opened her bedroom door. She immediately saw me, reached out to hand me her favorite little ice pack (already water by that time, of course). I obligingly accepted the ice pack to put back in the freezer. Then, she asked if I could hand over her cow… As in, her cow Halloween costume from two years ago that she still uses as a stuffed animal… which is always sitting at the right foot of her bed. I told her to lie down and grabbed the cow for her to hold. I hugged and kissed her, then told her to go back to sleep. Then, I went back to bed.

Unlike Chris, when these quick wake-ups happen, I am usually able to go back to sleep again quite quickly. So, they don’t bother me as much. But I also found the entire situation hilarious, endearing, and completely ridiculous at the same time. There was zero urgency in this random middle-of-the-night wake-up and cry-out for mama: The ice pack did not need to be placed into the freezer immediately; she could have easily grabbed the cow at the edge of her own bed for herself to cuddle; none of these needed to be done by me. But she did this all because 1) she knows I will come and indulge her, 2) she wants cuddles and kisses from her mama in the middle of the night, and 3) she simply wants me to come, period. And for me, this is okay. It’s actually more than okay. I love feeling loved and needed, and this is one of those moments that makes me feel loved and needed… even if it physically wakes me up when I do not want to be woken and interrupts my deep sleep (which it did).

One day, she won’t call out for me at night. Hopefully, that will be a long while from now. So for now, I will try my best to embrace each time and give my baby the middle of the night cuddles and kisses that she wants and needs… Because I’ll never know when it will be the last time. And I do love every chance I get to have cuddles and kisses with my little cheeky bubba.

Balloons are not sustainable

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Ever since I was little and never got to have helium-filled balloons for any birthday, I have always loved balloons (with helium) and have wanted Kaia to have them for her birthdays. I’m not a crazy mom in the sense that I have never filled an entire room with helium balloons or done anything that extravagant (wow, that would be expensive!). But at the very minimum, I like to get her a balloon for her age. She has loved them since she was 1, and she gets excited to see the new balloon every year. Playing with it gives her a lot of joy, and it gives me joy to watch her giggling and hitting it.

I asked the birthday party venue for their pricing on balloons and found it to be quite reasonable, and even borderline cheap for the neighborhood. I shared this pricing with the parents we’re co-hosting this party with. Thus far, they have been very easy going and eager to hear our opinions on everything. If anything, they seem to be deferring to us to suggest things and make decisions. But then the dad, who happens to be the co-chair of the parent association’s sustainability committee, messaged our group Whatspp to say that he doesn’t have strong opinions about much, but one area that he definitely does feel strongly about is that he does not want balloons because they are simply not sustainable. But, he said that if Kaia really wanted them, then he would just relent.

And there, my friends, my childhood love of balloons was popped in a second.

Okay, so to be clear, I am very well aware that balloons are not sustainable and are terrible for the environment; this is a fact. After they deflate, they simply go into a landfill. They are not recyclable… nope, not at all. Helium has its own controversy that I’m not getting into here. But we get a balloon just once a year — ONCE A YEAR. It’s like with things that are clearly bad for us, such as bacon: we don’t eat it often, just a handful of times a year at most! So when I saw this message, while my heart did break a little, I did want to respect his opinion and also let his opinion matter here, so I asked if we could compromise: instead of getting all twenty of the balloons plus the number balloons I envisioned, could we just get one “5” and one “6” (their son is turning 6) balloon so that their son didn’t feel left out when our daughter would have one? Plus, this would also save us some money by not buying more balloons, and who doesn’t want to save money when throwing a kid’s birthday party?

It’s still win/win doing a joint kids’ birthday party!

Visiting a kids’ party venue

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After exchanging many messages between the family of the child we’d like to do a joint birthday party with, we realized pretty quickly that hosting a party in our respective building lounges probably wouldn’t be a great fit. For one thing, my building lounge does not even allow children’s birthday parties in the lounge (talk about age discrimination to the extreme!). Their lounge fee is 25 percent more than ours; it also requires a mandatory extra cleaning fee that we have to pay. None of those fees includes any real help or coordination; we’d have to do all that work ourselves. It also wouldn’t include any kid entertainment. So when I found this venue in our general neighborhood that basically charged similar fees but included built-in entertainment (a large indoor play gym!), I thought this sounded pretty promising.

I was a little skeptical of the space, as the photos publicly available looked like those wide-angle distorted views that make spaces look far larger than they are. But when I went up there this afternoon to see it in person, it was even bigger than I expected! There’s a very large, open play space and a good entry way for gifts, goodie bags, and coats. From the open floor, there’s a stairway that goes up to a fun loft area that overlooks the play space. This consists of two rooms, one large room for the kids to eat and have cake, and a smaller room for the adults to congregate and hang out. I got a tour by the husband of the husband and wife team who run the place, and he seemed pretty relaxed, but also very informative. I took lots of photos and videos to share with Chris and the other parents, and I left feeling pretty good about this space.

I guess I found a little gem in the neighborhood I would have had zero idea about before. And this is all thanks to ChatGPT!

Planning a joint birthday party

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Kaia got invited to a joint birthday party of two classmates later this month. They invited all the friends and family in our entire kindergarten class of 20 kids, and it’s being held at a popular indoor play space in lower Manhattan. As soon as I found out it was joint, I thought this was the most amazing idea: combine two birthday parties so that you reduce the number of parties you require parents to take kids to, thus consolidating schedules, while also decreasing all costs by half. This is win-win for everyone! I immediately started thinking about who else has a birthday close to Kaia’s.

Then at the mid-Autumn Moon picnic on Sunday, a mom who has a kid whose birthday is in late November said she wanted to do a joint birthday because the costs were going up by so much, and I said I wouldn’t mind doing a joint one with Kaia. It would be Kaia’s first real birthday party outside of her class birthday parties, plus her first birthday that Chris’s mom threw, which of course Kaia cannot remember. So I said we’d exchange ideas and figure out a date.

It’s nearly a crime how expensive kids’ birthday parties can be in New York City. Space Club, which is a play space with multiple locations in Brooklyn, charges $990 simply to have a private room for about 90 minutes, and it’s 12 kids maximum. That does not include food, drink, cake, decorations, or goodie bags. It certainly does not include adult food. We tried looking at hosting in our building lounges, but that would require more coordination on the part of us as the parents/hosts.

The research and planning continue. I wonder where we will end up?

Dental visit, sans baby tooth

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This afternoon was my first visit to the dentist since my baby tooth finally came out. They asked me questions about how long ago it came out and inspected the gum to make sure there were no tooth fragments still remaining.

“It looks like it was a clean break!” The dental hygienist said to me. “The gum looks healthy and clean, barely like there was even a tooth there before!”

They asked me how it felt, then asked if I’d be interested in having an implant placed in. I figure it wouldn’t hurt to get cost estimates from the insurance on this, so I asked them to contact the insurance to get the full breakdown and send it over to me. I doubt I will end up doing it since the missing tooth isn’t in a visible spot. I also have zero problems eating without it. It was doing so little work all these years as a teeny weeny baby tooth that it really didn’t add any value to my eating life at all.

When I look back on all those years when I was nervous about my baby tooth falling out, I actually find it a little funny. I suppose hindsight is 20/20. And I guess there’s always fear of the unknown, but in this case, I barely even notice that it’s gone. I was scared of a hole in my mouth and how it might make my mouth less efficient. I was also worried about the cost of an implant. But now I realize an implant isn’t even fully necessary where it is. I’ve been eating just fine without this baby tooth there for about two months now, and I have zero concerns. I also told the dentist today that I also don’t have concerns about other teeth shifting as a result of this gap because I’m one of those diligent freaks and wears a lower retainer every single night.

I still have the baby tooth. I will keep it as a long time souvenir to remind me of my weird predicament of having two baby teeth with no adult teeth that ever developed under them. All I have to say is: I really hope Kaia has all her adult teeth develop under her baby teeth!!!

Mid-Autumn Moon Picnic

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Kaia’s current school does an annual Mid-Autumn Moon Family Picnic, which, weather permitting, is usually held outside at a nearby school’s playground. This year, they had to move it indoors into the school gym. They used the downstairs classrooms surrounding the gym for activities like face painting, moon cake making, beading, arts and crafts, visor making, ballon artistry, and temporary tattoos. While pizza is provided for all the kids, all the families are asked to bring food that can serve at least 12 other people, and they specifically asked for the food to be bite-sized.

My initial pause when I read this was around the “bite-sized” restriction. I originally wanted to do something savory, but what could possibly be “bite sized” I could make easily that would be savory? Then, I moved into the idea of an autumn bake (double baking weekend!), something simple like a mini pumpkin “donut” (really a mini muffin) rolled in cinnamon sugar. Our buddy family told us that last year, everyone over indexed on desserts, so there were too many desserts and not enough savories. I understood that completely given the “bite sized” description. But I figured it would be better to come with the homemade mini pumpkin donuts so I wouldn’t have to overthink things.

Something that I need to learn from, a mistake I make over and over again, is multitasking too much in the kitchen. The biggest case in point here: Chris gets mad at me whenever I multi task while double boiling chai, as chai boils over very quickly because of the milk. Today, I was doing the ultimate multi-tasking: I was making three different savory dishes for this week’s dinners, while at the same time trying to measure out all my wet and dry ingredients for these mini pumpkin muffins. When I popped the mini muffin tin into the oven, I couldn’t figure out why the batter wasn’t “evening” itself out the way it normally does given the high temperature bake. The batter can look a bit bumpy and not smooth on top, but that usually solves itself within the first five minutes in the oven. This didn’t happen this time. The muffins rose, but they didn’t rise the way I expected and still looked bumpy and lumpy when I took them out when the timer went off.

I went back to the recipe and scanned over every ingredient… and it immediately dawned on me that I NEVER ADDED THE BROWN SUGAR. I never even took out the brown sugar bag to measure it out! I essentially ended up making a pumpkin spiced whole wheat mini bun, not a real donut or muffin because there wasn’t even a granule of sugar in this!

I ate it, and it tasted fine, but nothing to get excited about. It tasted like… seasoned carbs. You could definitely taste the pumpkin spice. It has pumpkin puree, egg, and whole wheat, so it’s not like it’s nutritionally void. Kaia ate one and said she liked it (bless her heart, as they say down in the South). So I guess I’ll be packing these for her school snacks this week to prevent waste. I ended up re-making the entire recipe all over again — this time, with the brown sugar. I went over the full ingredient list one more time before I finished the batter, re-filled the mini muffin tin, and baked. Then I rolled each in butter and cinnamon sugar and packed them away to take to the indoor picnic. These tasted good, and they were quick and easy… well, easy as long as you read the damn recipe and measure out every ingredient properly and do not multitask.

Well, once again, the food spread had more desserts than savories. And the savories were definitely not all bite-sized: people brought everything from empanadas to platters of dumplings to various noodles. There was even fried chicken! As we all know, “noodle” dishes are certainly not “bite-sized.” I guess I took the “bite sized” suggestion too seriously. Maybe next year, I’ll do what I originally wanted to make and bring a savory dish. I could make a sticky rice, a tossed noodle, or if I am feeling really fancy, a scallion milk bread bao.

Autumn baking for friends

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I am always looking for an excuse to bake. I have an endless list of desserts ranging from muffins to cakes to tarts to custards to mousses to brownies I want to make that it’s nearly impossible to keep track of. They are in OneNote, my phone’s notebook, in my browser “favorites,” bookmarked in my New York Times Cooking app, saved in my Instagram posts; the whole situation is unruly and totally out of control. With just the three of us at home, it’s hard to justify baking regularly. Plus, as someone who is working on body recomposition, I think it’s just a bit too self-indulgent.

So when a friend invited us over for brunch today, I immediately knew I wanted to bake something autumnal. So I chose these spiced apple muffins and got Sweet Tango apples from the local farmers market for them. I wanted to perfect these muffins and ensure they got a good muffin top, especially after my blueberry muffin fiasco from the spring when Chris’s parents came. I was so excited to make them fruit muffins for breakfast, but I really messed up: not only did the muffins stick to the tin (which I ended up tossing), but they didn’t rise that high. So I read more about what causes muffins to rise and get a proper “muffin top.” After some research, these are the secrets: 1) after mixing dry and wet ingredients, allow the batter to rest for at least 30-45 minutes, and 2) blast the muffins in the oven with 425 F heat for the first five minutes, then lower the temperature to about 350 for the remaining time to evenly bake. The resting allows full hydration of the batter and the rising agents to work their magic to the fullest extent. This lets the flour’s starch molecules absorb liquid to create a thicker batter that holds a taller shape. The initial high heat blast in the oven “shocks” the batter into an initial rapid rise and sets the crust into a dome. And well, this time, it worked! I also didn’t make the same mistake twice, and I got proper muffin liners for my muffin pan. I felt quite happy when my friend’s husband looked at the muffins on the brunch table when I laid them out and asked where we bought them from. 🙂

Now that I got this right, I feel more empowered to keep the muffin momentum going. What’s the next muffin I am going to make?