Category Archives: Child rearing

Harrison’s Cave, a much-known tourist attraction, and a lesser explored part of Barbados: the northern rugged coast

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Today, we rented a car for the day and explored some further away parts of the island. Barbados is known for its ubiquitous potholes. We got warned by the couple from the snorkeling cruise that we needed to keep a close lookout for them. On their very first day in Barbados, as they were just leaving the airport in their rental car for the day, they hit a pothole so badly that the rim was destroyed to the point of the car being unusable. So they had to pay for the damage and immediately go back and switch the car out. “What a great way to start our vacation!” they laughed. So, we kept their warning in mind on our day with the rental car.

The first highlight of the day was Harrison’s Cave, which is located in the central uplands of Barbados. It’s a crystallized limestone cavern carved by water over hundreds of thousands of years. The cave is known for its massive stalactites hanging from the ceilings like icicles, and its stalagmites, which grow upward from the cave floor. The cave also has beautiful (and incredibly deep!) emerald-green pools and underground waterfalls. It’s 2.3 kilometers (about 1.4 miles) and stays a humid and warm 24.5 C (76 F) year-round. Each year, the tram guide told us, each of the stalactites and stalagmites grow the thickness of a piece of paper per YEAR. It’s one of the features of Barbados that makes the island unique versus other Caribbean islands in that it was originally formed from colliding tectonic plates and thick coral limestone rather than volcanoes. The cave was formed by rainwater that dissolved this limestone. The caves were first documented in historical records in 1795 but were largely unexplored for about 180 years.

The cave was named after Thomas Harrison, a prominent landowner in the early 1700s who also founded a college on the island. Even though we’ve already been here for about four days, it still feels funny to me that the majority of tourist sights here in Barbados are named after a bunch of White people, who were likely either colonizers or slave owners themselves. The majority of Barbados’s population (over 92 percent) is of Black/African descent. Though it is good to read that the local population is recognizing how terrible this is and slowly renaming important historical sites after prominent Afro-Barbadians. One major example is Trafalgar Square, which was officially renamed National Heroes Square.

We did the tram tour, which was a bit simpler given Kaia was of course with us, and she likely would have whined and whinged endlessly if we did the longer (and much more slippery!) walking tour. What I loved the most about the cave were all extremely different shapes and sizes of the stalactites and stalagmites. Some really unique ones were pointed out, like the formation of the Great Hall (it really felt like a great big hall in a grand home), several chandelier-like formations, and stalactites that looked like real drapes and shawls. The guide warned us at the beginning of the tour that touching any of the cave formations is against Barbadian law, and we could be fined as much as $50,000 USD for just a simple touch! I will say that after seeing so many of the cave formations so close up that it was tempting to see what they felt like. They look like they could feel like a cross between jade or pearl!

The second highlight of the day was our stop at Little Bay, Pie Corner, which is located in the rugged northern parish of St. Lucy. It felt very secluded and remote. Other than one other man who was wandering the area, it was just us. There, the waves were a lot more forceful constantly crashing against the large rocks and cliffs, and the water was darker and more treacherous. Swimming is strongly advised against given how strong the currents are in this area. Here, there are also lots of interesting rock formations like sea caves and geyser-like blowholes. We also saw lots of interesting sea shells, and so many tiny little crabs hurriedly scurrying around.

Kaia fell asleep on the way to Little Bay. So instead of waking her up and dragging her out (which would have been unpleasant for all of us), we let her sleep in the car while we spent a little time exploring the little area. I picked a bunch of shells for her and presented them as a gift when we got back to the car. By that time, she had already woken up and was wondering where we went and when we’d come back. As soon as we opened the car door to see her, she had a big smile on her face to see us. I told her she missed out on seeing the teeny tiny crabs crawling around everywhere. The quick video I took of them moving around definitely amused her.

The last highlight was our stop at Tapas Restaurant, which is a short drive from our hotel and was recommended by a local we met and made small talk with at a coffee shop on our first full day. They are known for their open-air restaurant setup with great beach views, as their large selection of local rums from Foursquare Rum Distillery, an internationally awarded maker of rum. Chris tried two rums: one was a Clifton Hall Great House, made in a bourbon cask, and the second was an R.L. Seale 10-year aged in former bourbon casks. I enjoyed a really well made and smooth dark and stormy, likely one of the best versions of it that I’ve had.

Although rum became a thing in Barbados during the 1640s and 1650s as a byproduct of the island’s booming sugar industry, today, the majority of the rums produced on the island are not made with locally grown sugar cane. The island country just isn’t able to produce enough local molasses to meet the global demand for Barbadian rum. Barbados produces significantly less sugar cane today due to global market shifts making the industry unprofitable. The country is now restructuring its traditional sugar industry by transitioning toward rum production, specialty sugar, renewable energy, and agricultural research.

Despite its downward shift of sugar production, Barbados still continues to be recognized globally as the birthplace of rum, still operating historical sites like Foursquare Rum Distillery, Mount Gay Rum Distillery, and St. Nicholas Abbey. The Geographical Indication (GI) Rules state that every stage of production — distillation, aging, blending, and bottling — must take place entirely on the island using limestone filtered water. The laws intentionally do not restrict the origin of raw sugarcane or molasses. We did pass by many fields of sugarcane, but it still didn’t seem like it could possibly be enough given how much rum is actually still produced here.

It was a a beautiful and tasty way to end our time in Barbados, with lots of culture and learning along the way. Tomorrow, we are off to St. Lucia for another cultural experience!

On a catamaran in Barbados to see sea turtles, shipwreck, and endless colorful fish

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As soon as I read that Barbados was known for sea turtles, and there were near-guaranteed chances to see them when snorkeling, I told Chris we had to do a catamaran tour here. The last time we did a snorkeling excursion, it was in Cebu, the Phillippines, on New Year’s Day this year. We were spoiled given the exchange rate, and so we had a private boat for just the three of us. Here in Barbados, tourism (especially from Westerners) is massive, and of course they are going to capitalize on that. No one’s going to fault them for that! If you want to do a private charter for a day, it will cost close to a thousand USD! So we went with the 36-person max five-hour catamaran tour, which takes you snorkeling at two stops in Carlisle Bay. It includes a Bajan-style lunch and swimming stop near Holetown, and then we’re back to our starting point in Bridgetown.

It feels luxurious that this is the third time we are going snorkeling this year (and the fourth time in my life, after the Great Barrier Reef / Cairns, Queensland, in December 2014), but if you’re only going to be here once, you might as well dive in (literally). While one of my lifelong dreams has been to swim with dolphins, I have always wanted to see sea turtles up close, and what better way than to see them in their natural habitat in the ocean? I love wildlife, and the ocean, while terrifying to me given I have a fear of deep water and scary things that could potentially kill me (okay, the last part is a lesser fear, but you get it), has always been one of the most beautiful sights for me. I still remember my very first time snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef and how surreal the coral reef was to see, and being rendered speechless by exactly how many colors are under the sea. That feeling of being in the water and seeing it all just feels magical to me.

In Carlisle Bay, there are two types of sea turtles that all catamaran cruises say you have a 98 percent chance of seeing: green(back) turtles and hawksbill turtles. Green turtles can grow up to 1.2 meters (just shy of four feet) in shell diameter and weigh over 180 kilograms (about 400 lb). These little guys eat seagrass and algae, and the greens of their diet colors their fat and cartilage, giving them their name. Hawksbill turtles, on the other hand, have shells that can be about 0.8 meters (three feet) in diameter and weigh between 45 to 80 kilograms (100-177 lb). Hawksbill turtles eat sea sponges, giving them the name “spongivores.” This diet helps coral reefs, as these turtles eat aggressive sponges that then prevent the overgrowth of coral colonies, contributing to a healthy coral reef system. Shape-wise, they have narrow, bird-like curved beaks and serrated, patterned shells. In Barbados, sea turtles are protected by law, and they have one of the largest nesting populations of this endangered species in the Caribbean. I spoke with a couple yesterday at the resort we visited, who said that just a few days before, they actually saw a sea turtle come up to their shore to lay their eggs — what a treat to be able to see that in real time!

Our cruise was really, really well run: the staff were extremely warm, friendly, hospitable, knowledgable, and hands-on. When we had our two snorkel stops, they had two crew members act as guides/helpers in the water to show us where to look for wildlife. And because Kaia was the youngest person on the boat, one of those two guys was so kind that he stayed with her (and a floatie) the entire time, which allowed Chris and me to enjoy swimming and snorkeling with more ease and on our own. We brought our own life jacket fitted for her, which she wore the whole time in the water. The cruise offered her a child-sized snorkel set, but she refused to wear it (she was probably still hating it from when we tried to get her to wear one in Cebu, and well, that one was likely malfunctioning as ours did). And when they said we were guaranteed to see sea turtles, they were not joking: during our first snorkel stop, we saw two green turtles on the very bottom of the ocean floor, which was fully clear and just endless white sand in that area. The water was extremely clear, and we could see both of the green turtles waddling around the ocean floor separately as though time did not matter.

For a while, I didn’t even really move while I was watching each of the sea turtles walk around on the ocean floor. It just felt so captivating, watching them move in slow-motion, one or two legs moving at a time. They looked so graceful, so purposeful, with fluid and effortless strides. Given that sea turtles evolved over 100 million years ago and outlived dinosaurs, I think it’s pretty clear they live steady, purposeful lives, and their swimming pace reminds all of us to slow down a little bit and to really enjoy the moment. I could probably spend hours just staring at these gentle little giants swim and waddle across the ocean floor.

While reading about sea turtles, I read this quote that stayed with me: “Watching a sea turtle swim is knowing they are following an incredible, invisible roadmap. They use the Earth’s magnetic field—an innate ability called magnetoreception—to navigate thousands of miles across open oceans to feed and return to the exact beaches where they were born.” I rely so heavily on Google Maps for everything, whether it’s trying to see how long it will take me to get from point A to point B, or just identifying where a restaurant is. I guess I will never be as intelligent as a sea turtle. The fact that sea turtles are so smart and can do this, especially the part about returning to the exact beaches where they were born, is mind-blowing.

During the second snorkel stop, we saw lots more shipwreck, coral reef growing on top of said shipwreck, and endless colorful fish. Many of them are likely the same or related to the colorful fish we saw in Roatan and Cebu, except this time, I definitely know I saw a handful of different parrot fish that were even more than all the colors of the rainbow. I saw lots of scorpion-like fish, endless varieties of angelfish, sergeant majors (just like in Roatan!), and many schools of blue tang fish, which were like dark blue florescent fish with rounded flat bodies and cute little tails. We also got to see THE fish in Barbados, which are the flying fish (very popular for eating, as well. We had these, breaded and fried, at the Trini rum and roti shop we ate at during our first full day in Barbados). They really do “fly” out of water in packs. If a crew member hadn’t pointed them out to us, I barely would have noticed them. They almost looked like little darts coming out of the water in very specific semi-circle patterns. And because of their color, they blend into the water and you need to really look for them.

We also got warned several times to stay away from a certain area of coral, where it got shallower and there was plenty of fire coral. After my Roatan incident of getting my butt burned by what appeared to be dead coral, I will heed those warnings and stay TF away.

Kaia loved being on the boat. She enjoyed being doted on by crew members, being in the water, and fighting over foam noodles with her mama (i did not quite enjoy this, but, well…). She enjoyed the outing so much that she actually ended up napping out on the catamaran (on Chris)! Pookster even attracted the attention of a younger couple just finishing up med school who are planning to have kids soon. They kept raving about how cute and good she was being (even though she had several tantrums and they witnessed first hand her fight with me in the water). We told her the next time we’re out in open water again, she needs to try to put her head in the water so she can actually see the fish and the sea animals. I was bummed she didn’t get to see the sea turtles, as I know for a fact she would have loved them. She’s an animal lover like me after all, so I know she’d get a kick out of seeing these beautiful, graceful gentle giants. I guess there is always next time.

The “dine around” exchange program and the unexpected brand-new swimsuit

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While in Barbados, we’re staying at a south coast all-inclusive resort, which is part of Marriott and their Tribute Portfolio collection of hotels. While in flight to Barbados, Chris looked up additional benefits and perks of staying here, and he found out that we could get access to what is called the “Dine Around” Exchange Program. This means that guests can utilize the “dine around” option at other participating Marriott resorts on the island. So this would not only give us (free/included) access to other properties and their food/drink/amentiies, but also give us an opportunity to enjoy a different part of Barbados. So we chose a hotel to visit today that was on the west coast, which is supposed to have calmer, more child-friendly beaches.

While we had to pay for our transport to get to the second hotel, all our food and drink would be included at this property, so the Uber would be the only real extra expense of the day. And it was really nice to see another part of the coast and see how a sister property was laid out. Of course, Kaia was thrilled to know she was having a full pool/beach day. She went back and forth between the white sand beach with calm, crystal-clear waters back into the east coast hotel’s pools, which were better situated than our hotel’s given that they directly overlooked the beach the way they did at our Roatan hotel last month. We ended up befriending a couple from Edison, New Jersey, and their daughter, who was born 11 months before Kaia. So they played together as we all had our own separate adult conversations.

One funny thing that ended up happening was that while we were on the beach with G and her mom, Kaia suddenly started scratching her crotch area and tried to take off her rashie/swimsuit. I asked her what was wrong, and she said the swimsuit was hurting her leg. G’s mom was so thoughtful that she eagerly offered to give Kaia one of G’s own brand-new swimsuits given she said she overpacked and probably wouldn’t need all the swimsuits anyway. She went a short distance back to their room and brought out a really cute turquoise and white one-piece swimsuit with a big bow on it — so new that it still had its tags on. Kaia happily took off her rashie, put on G’s swimsuit, and went back to splashing.

When it was time for all of us to go, I dried the swimsuit off as much as I could and tried to hand it back to G’s mom, and she insisted that we keep it because they didn’t need it due to having too many swimsuits for G, and they would be leaving in a couple days anyway. I was floored and just in shock.

“You have so much more of your trip to go, so it can’t hurt to have an extra swimsuit for her,” G’s mom insisted to me. “It’s really nothing! I got it from Target!! It’s not like I gave you a Burberry swimsuit or anything…”

I told her it wasn’t about the cost; in most cases of generosity, money has little to do with it. In these and in so many cases I’ve experienced with Kaia, it’s truly about the gesture itself, the selflessness to offer a swimsuit to a child you do not even know when you can see she’s uncomfortable and you know you have an extra one… and then to just let them keep it! We were total strangers who met just hours before, and she was giving one of her daughter’s brand new swimsuits away — who cares that it’s from Target! To be honest, I am not totally sure that if I were in her shoes that I would have done the same thing. And so when I think about cases like this, it just makes me realize how truly kind other people really can be. Being a mama to my Kaia Pookie opens my eyes to that fact every single day.

Kaia’s last day of Pre-K and the red envelope handout

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Here in the U.S., where teachers are generally under appreciated and underpaid, especially if they are in the public system, it’s kind of semi-expected and customary to give teachers gifts, whether that is around the December holiday period, Teacher Appreciation Week, or at the end of a school year. Since this is Kaia’s last school year at this school, we thought it would be a good idea not just to give cards to her teachers and the admin, but also to the cook/cleaner, and to the doorman at her school building. They all play a part in helping the school run and thrive, and so we wanted to thank them for their support and kindness.

Given Kaia is 4.5 years old now, she knew what I was doing and that I was handing out envelopes to the teachers. And while she knew this, she didn’t mind that I was handing out the envelopes to the teachers. BUT, she insisted on handing Ah Gong, the doorman, his red envelope. So we went downstairs after signing in just to have her hand the envelope to him. Ah Gong was shocked and flattered. They gave each other high-fives, and Kaia was super excited.

Ah Gong remarked how cute, smart, and mature she was. It’s strange to think that after summer camp ends in August, we will no longer be seeing Ah Gong every day, even in just casual acquaintance. But I guess all these everyday people you have even the smallest interactions with do play some parts in your life, and their kindnesses will be remembered.

Kaia’s Pre-K Graduation today

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Being a parent has a lot of ups and downs. The night time wakings, the blowout diapers, the seemingly endless sicknesses, the whining, the tantrums, the days when you’re running on fumes because of lack of sleep — I don’t think anyone gets excited about that or looks back on any of those things wistfully. But the cuddles, kisses, moments of true understanding and growth — those are the things all parents relish and look back on and think, “What — where did time go?!”

As the days led up to Kaia’s Pre-K graduation today, I couldn’t help but constantly scroll through my phone’s camera roll and our Google Photos when I had five or ten minutes here or there, whether it was on the subway commuting or while waiting for people to join work calls. I have such fond, happy memories of being pregnant with her — feeling my growing tummy/uterus, feeling her middle-of-the-night somersaults in the uterus, feeling her constantly kicking and squirming around, especially after eating or exercising. And then when she was born, my entire life changed. It was like I finally learned what a different level of love and nurture was. And since then, I have never looked at life quite the same way ever again. This little blob, who is no longer a little blob but a kindergarten bound girl, changed my entire life and perspectives. Suddenly, nothing mattered as much as her health, well being, and happiness. And each day, she forces me to live more in the moment, to listen to and notice all the little things. And with her, life is just so much better and richer. To this day, sometimes I still cannot believe I got so lucky with this sweet, sweet child — in more ways than ten.

Kaia’s preschool graduation was supposed to start at 5:30 today, but due to technical difficulties, we probably didn’t get admitted until around 6. This was very late for a bunch of 4- and 5-year-olds, all of whom were having later dinner (and inevitably a much later bedtime). But somehow, Kaia held it all together. She performed two dances, one to an English song and one to one of her favorite Chinese songs 有你就幸福 (Blessed to Have You/Having You is a Blessing). And she sang so happily and proudly, especially the Chinese song, funnily enough. I was so proud that my heart was nearly bursting. And then when the school showcased the big school-wide skit that they’ve been working on for months, I couldn’t help but tear up. My little baby is growing up — so so fast, almost too fast.

After summer camp in July-August, she’ll be off to kindergarten at her new school in September. All I can say is that I’m trying hard to soak all of her up… because every single day of her life, I’m preparing for her to eventually leave me. Kaia even said to me a couple days ago while discussing her going to kindergarten and then getting a year and two and three older, “Mama, when I am big, you won’t have a baby anymore!”

But no matter what, as I say to her, Kaia Pookie will always be my baby — mama’s sweet baby.

When Pookie stopped needing a middle-of-the-night pee

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When we decided to stop putting Kaia in an overnight pull-up, we knew she’d need to be woken up for a pee in the middle of the night because she pees a lot. I guess she is like her mother in that way: she’s always drinking lots of liquids, and as we all know: what goes in must come out! We originally started her overnight pee wakeup at around 11-12 because she’d end up wetting her bed at around midnight if we didn’t do this. Gradually, we started pushing it back to 12, 1, 2, and then 2:45, just as the Oh Crap! Potty Training method suggested in the famous potty training book. But something miraculously happened last week: Kaia actually went the entire night without needing to pee or wetting the bed until 5am. It was Chris’s night to wake her up to pee, and he had forgotten to set his alarm. He woke up early in the morning to check on her and found out she was still sleeping and still dry. So he took her to pee at 5am when he woke up. So the next few nights, the same thing happened, and she woke herself up to pee, or she went through the whole night without needing to pee. She woke up between 6-7am, and she was dry. And it’s been this way for the last week!

A while ago, I told Pookster that if she stayed dry all night, and/or woke herself up to pee in the middle of the night, that I’d finally get her wish of nail polish. I really wanted to put off nail polish for as long as possible, but she kept asking, and I figured this would be a good incentive she’s been asking about for almost two years now that I’ve rejected. So we got really excited and told her we were so proud of her, and she’s just this close to getting her much coveted child-friendly nail polish. But Chris wanted to add another step: she can get the nail polish when she not only stays dry all night and pees as soon as she wakes up, but also when she can fully wipe herself and wash her hands — all on her own. Kaia was not thrilled to her about this and of course threw a mini tantrum, but alas, life has its ways of putting more hurdles in front of you!

It seems like ages since we started doing middle-of-the-night wake-ups to have her go pee, and now it is all coming to an end before I even realized it. While you think I’d be thrilled about this, it still feels bittersweet. Every day, my sweet Kaia Pookie is getting more mature, bigger and bigger, and closer to eventually not needing me.

Call from school, and an unexpected urgent trip to the doctor’s office

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It was mid-afternoon today. I was in the middle of writing a long Slack message to someone to prep them for a customer meeting. And suddenly, I saw my phone ringing, and it was Kaia’s school’s number. So I answered it, and school administrator let me know that Kaia’s right eye was red and swollen, and she could barely open it and said it was hurting. I asked if she had gotten bitten by a bug at the playground, and the teacher said it was a possibility, but she strongly suggested I come pick her up as soon as possible and take her to Urgent Care because she was concerned. I told her I’d try to shift some things in my schedule to do an earlier pickup and would call her back. During that time, I did a quick inquiry with ChatGPT about the symptoms the admin shared, and this is the response it gave me:

“Given that she can barely open one eye and it’s red and swollen, she should be seen today, urgently—call her pediatrician’s urgent line now or go to urgent care/ER, especially if you cannot be seen quickly.

Possible causes include a bug bite/allergic reaction, a stye, irritation, or conjunctivitis, but the concerning possibility is periorbital cellulitis—a bacterial infection of the eyelid/skin around the eye. A rarer but more serious form, orbital cellulitis, involves deeper tissues and is an emergency. Children can have unilateral eyelid swelling/redness from these infections, and it can sometimes follow a small scratch, bug bite, or recent sinus/cold symptoms—even if those symptoms are not obvious. 

Go to the ER now if she has any of these: fever, eye pain, pain with eye movement, trouble moving the eye, vision changes, double vision, the eye bulging forward, severe headache, vomiting, unusual sleepiness, or she looks very unwell. These are red flags for orbital cellulitis, which needs urgent evaluation.”

So, as you can imagine, my eyes stay on “periorbital celluitis.” And I’m thinking, it can be that serious – are you for real? At that point, the admin sent me a photo of Kaia’s right eye, which was closed, very red, and puffy. This did not look good that she couldn’t even open the eye. So I dialed her pediatrician’s office and spoke with the receptionist, explained the symptoms, and she asked if I could come at 4. It was about 3:40 at the time, so I said I’d have to go from the Upper West Side down to Chinatown to pick her up and bring her to the office, so I could probably make it just after 4:30 if I pushed it. They squeezed me in and said Kaia would be the last patient of the day.

Well, when I went for early pickup, Kaia was already able to open her right eye. The swelling and redness had died down considerably, and her mood seemed to be more chipper. I told her we were going to the doctor’s office, so she got excited that we’d be taking the (new) B train to a stop we normally don’t get off at – West 72nd Street! She eagerly counted all the stops and then yelled when it was time to get off. Just based on her mood, I had a strong feeling this was a false alarm.

The doctor finally saw her and after examining and checking a few things, she said she’s concluded that Kaia may be having seasonal allergies. It didn’t seem like anything serious, so she gave me some children’s Zyrtec, gave me instructions in case the puffiness/redness came back, or if she wakes up with a red eye ball tomorrow morning. The doctor proactively wrote and filled a prescription for the eye drops in case her eye was red tomorrow, and she sent us on our merry way.

By the time we left, it was as though Kaia had nothing. That was lucky, as it easily could have been a lot worse. But I still felt better we had her checked with the doctor to be in the clear.

Chats with AI are great, but man, can they stir up the worst of the worst possibilities.

I love my child, but I do not necessarily love all children

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I have never been one of those people who have said that “all children are beautiful/cute,” or that I love kids. The truth is that I actually do not love kids at all, and that’s probably a huge reason that even when I was a kid myself, I never even for a minute considered being a school teacher (even though it’s fed to you as a [female] child that being a teacher is cool!). I know myself, and I know that I just don’t have the patience it takes to deal with kids and their tantrums, their constant irritating questions, their outbursts, and even things like peeing or pooping in their pants, even if it’s by accident. It’s obviously different when it’s your own child/children, but with other people’s kids… I could never even imagine proactively babysitting another friend’s child unless they were a baby who couldn’t speak.

Despite this fact, I always knew I wanted to have kids. I always wanted to raise my own child and know what that entire experience was like. I wanted to have a family of my own to nurture — I do think that I’m a nurturing, loving person by nature; I love taking care of others. So, now that I have one child of my own, I love her more than I ever thought possible. But that doesn’t necessarily change my original state of being, which is that while I may love my own child (you’d hope so!), I don’t necessarily love other people’s kids, even if they are the kids of my own extended family and friends. Some of my friends’ kids are extremely bratty and entitled. Others, even for their respective ages, are extremely immature and socially awkward and have made it pretty clear that no matter how sweet I am to them, they just will not give me any love at all, even if it’s a simple-high five. One of them has refused, for her entire existence, to ever give me a hug or kiss; in fact, she refuses even to wave hi or bye to me to acknowledge me! And then today, while out with a neighbor friend and her son, who is just a few months younger than Kaia, I was really at my wit’s end at times trying to control this kid and his tendencies.

First, this little friend kept trying to run into the street (and he actually did when there were cars coming and the light was red). This drove his mom crazy, as she’d obviously worry for his safety. I had to grab him a few times before he actually got into the middle of the street. Then, when I took out our Bluey bubble machine, he randomly started sticking it in strangers’ faces to blow bubbles just a foot or two away from their noses — this was not good at all. Then, he kept insisting on running into people on purpose while walking simply because he thought it was funny. And there was a good stretch of time when any time I tried to open my mouth to say anything, he’d talk over me and say that ‘Kaia’s mom isn’t listening to me.” I kept pretty calm overall, but I did have to shut down the bubbles in people’s faces, plus the “running into the street when cars were coming” situation a number of times.

Everything finally came to a head when we were just a block away from our building, and the little friend decides to try to run into the street yet again during a red light. This time, his mom finally lost all her patience and screamed at him while simultaneously pulling him back onto the sidewalk. Predictably, he started sobbing, and she had to carry him across the street and sit him down for a good talk. I mean… he kind of deserved it after being warned literally all day long?

In these moments, I always think about early childhood educators, and it’s really hard for me to comprehend having to deal with other people’s young children all day long. Their job is so, so tough. And it’s a very unappreciated job. These little kids are growing into their own selves, they are discovering their emotions and what their bodies and minds are capable of, and they are… simply growing. And that’s a lot to deal with, especially when there’s an entire classroom full of these bursting little personalities. I have moments with Kaia when she’s screaming and sobbing into my ear so loudly that I can barely hear my own thoughts, all over something innocuous when I wonder how anyone could ever willingly decide to deal with this more than once.

Amen to early childhood educators. I just don’t have the patience to deal with most other people’s children.

Preschooler observations and negotiations

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Chris has noted a few times that he loves negotiating with Kaia. Kaia will rarely accept one option; she needs to have multiple to choose from at all times. So sometimes, we have to throw in some “options” for fun.

Some recent examples include:

Kaia asked Chris for an iPad. He told her no, when you’re bigger, you can get one. I can’t remember the exact age, but he said something like, “When you’re 18, you can have one.” And she responded back and said, “No, no no! I will get one when I am 31,” to which Chris was super positive about! And then she told me later, “Daddy can buy me an iPad when I’m 31!” And I looked at her and said, “Yes, babe! That will definitely be possible!”

And onto another topic: I have a pretty quick makeup routine on days I wear makeup. During our Honduras trip, she always liked to watch me put in my daily contacts (which I wore for three days) and then my makeup. She asked me at what age she could also wear contacts, and I responded and said in an ideal world, I hope she never, ever had to wear contacts. She didn’t quite understand this, so I relented and said she could wear them at 18 if she needed to. She seemed okay with this.

Then she asked, “Mama, can I wear makeup when I am 19?” I looked down at her and smiled. “Of course you can, Pookie! Nineteen would be perfect!!”

Kaia has also been very loving and caring, checking in with me daily on my “boo boos” from when I scratched my thigh and butt from the coral reef in Roatan. So she’s been asking to see them every day and also asks if she can help me put ointment or ice on them. I tell her that I put the ointment on myself each morning and evening, but she also insists on applying her bedtime ice pack (this is her thing) to my boo boos for a few seconds to “help” me heal. It’s very sweet, so even though I don’t need it, I humor her and let her do it. And then after she takes the ice pack away, she asks me while peering up with big, wide eyes, “Does it feel better now?” To which I always respond, “Yes, Pookie, it does. Thank you for helping mama!”

A lot is tough about this age and every age of child-rearing, but I do love these cute, sweet moments so much.

Signs of a fancy breakfast

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Yesterday morning, Chris and I were invited to a new parents welcome breakfast at Kaia’s soon-to-be new school come September. It would be a mix of staff, current, and new parents so that we could all have an opportunity to get to know one another. I showed up at the event this morning before Chris did since he had to do school dropoff, and I took a quick scan of the breakfast layout. It had a lot of what I expected: a mix of bagels and spreads, pastries, yogurts, fruit, coffee, and tea. But what caught my eye immediately was the fruit spread: it was all raspberries and blueberries.

You know you are at a fancy, ultra-premium breakfast event when you see the fruit spread, and it’s all berries. We all know berries are some of the most expensive fruit (at least, here in the U.S.). There was no melon in sight, which I personally define as “filler fruit” that most caterers would use to increase the volume of fruit on a serving platter while decreasing their own costs. It’s usually too much cantaloupe and (god forbid) honeydew, and they are usually so bland that they end up just being sugar water.

The second sign this was a premium breakfast event was what Chris noticed when he took a look at the juice bottles in the ice buckets: there were bottles of cold-pressed Sumo citrus mandarin juice. These are the ultra, ultra premium, expensive, and hard to grow mandarins that we got gifted at Lunar New Year. I’d never seen this type of juice at any event or any store — anywhere. I ended up buying more and requesting Chris buy more of these. While he admitted that they did taste amazing and were worlds apart from regular mandarins, he asked me if I really wanted to continue buying these because I’d probably make our household go broke (half joking, half serious).

The event was enjoyable and worth the time. It’s clear there’s a great community here. And it’s also great to see that we’re paying for premium food for these events through our tuition money. 🙂