Category Archives: Child rearing

I love my child, but I do not necessarily love all children

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I have never been one of those people who have said that “all children are beautiful/cute,” or that I love kids. The truth is that I actually do not love kids at all, and that’s probably a huge reason that even when I was a kid myself, I never even for a minute considered being a school teacher (even though it’s fed to you as a [female] child that being a teacher is cool!). I know myself, and I know that I just don’t have the patience it takes to deal with kids and their tantrums, their constant irritating questions, their outbursts, and even things like peeing or pooping in their pants, even if it’s by accident. It’s obviously different when it’s your own child/children, but with other people’s kids… I could never even imagine proactively babysitting another friend’s child unless they were a baby who couldn’t speak.

Despite this fact, I always knew I wanted to have kids. I always wanted to raise my own child and know what that entire experience was like. I wanted to have a family of my own to nurture — I do think that I’m a nurturing, loving person by nature; I love taking care of others. So, now that I have one child of my own, I love her more than I ever thought possible. But that doesn’t necessarily change my original state of being, which is that while I may love my own child (you’d hope so!), I don’t necessarily love other people’s kids, even if they are the kids of my own extended family and friends. Some of my friends’ kids are extremely bratty and entitled. Others, even for their respective ages, are extremely immature and socially awkward and have made it pretty clear that no matter how sweet I am to them, they just will not give me any love at all, even if it’s a simple-high five. One of them has refused, for her entire existence, to ever give me a hug or kiss; in fact, she refuses even to wave hi or bye to me to acknowledge me! And then today, while out with a neighbor friend and her son, who is just a few months younger than Kaia, I was really at my wit’s end at times trying to control this kid and his tendencies.

First, this little friend kept trying to run into the street (and he actually did when there were cars coming and the light was red). This drove his mom crazy, as she’d obviously worry for his safety. I had to grab him a few times before he actually got into the middle of the street. Then, when I took out our Bluey bubble machine, he randomly started sticking it in strangers’ faces to blow bubbles just a foot or two away from their noses — this was not good at all. Then, he kept insisting on running into people on purpose while walking simply because he thought it was funny. And there was a good stretch of time when any time I tried to open my mouth to say anything, he’d talk over me and say that ‘Kaia’s mom isn’t listening to me.” I kept pretty calm overall, but I did have to shut down the bubbles in people’s faces, plus the “running into the street when cars were coming” situation a number of times.

Everything finally came to a head when we were just a block away from our building, and the little friend decides to try to run into the street yet again during a red light. This time, his mom finally lost all her patience and screamed at him while simultaneously pulling him back onto the sidewalk. Predictably, he started sobbing, and she had to carry him across the street and sit him down for a good talk. I mean… he kind of deserved it after being warned literally all day long?

In these moments, I always think about early childhood educators, and it’s really hard for me to comprehend having to deal with other people’s young children all day long. Their job is so, so tough. And it’s a very unappreciated job. These little kids are growing into their own selves, they are discovering their emotions and what their bodies and minds are capable of, and they are… simply growing. And that’s a lot to deal with, especially when there’s an entire classroom full of these bursting little personalities. I have moments with Kaia when she’s screaming and sobbing into my ear so loudly that I can barely hear my own thoughts, all over something innocuous when I wonder how anyone could ever willingly decide to deal with this more than once.

Amen to early childhood educators. I just don’t have the patience to deal with most other people’s children.

Preschooler observations and negotiations

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Chris has noted a few times that he loves negotiating with Kaia. Kaia will rarely accept one option; she needs to have multiple to choose from at all times. So sometimes, we have to throw in some “options” for fun.

Some recent examples include:

Kaia asked Chris for an iPad. He told her no, when you’re bigger, you can get one. I can’t remember the exact age, but he said something like, “When you’re 18, you can have one.” And she responded back and said, “No, no no! I will get one when I am 31,” to which Chris was super positive about! And then she told me later, “Daddy can buy me an iPad when I’m 31!” And I looked at her and said, “Yes, babe! That will definitely be possible!”

And onto another topic: I have a pretty quick makeup routine on days I wear makeup. During our Honduras trip, she always liked to watch me put in my daily contacts (which I wore for three days) and then my makeup. She asked me at what age she could also wear contacts, and I responded and said in an ideal world, I hope she never, ever had to wear contacts. She didn’t quite understand this, so I relented and said she could wear them at 18 if she needed to. She seemed okay with this.

Then she asked, “Mama, can I wear makeup when I am 19?” I looked down at her and smiled. “Of course you can, Pookie! Nineteen would be perfect!!”

Kaia has also been very loving and caring, checking in with me daily on my “boo boos” from when I scratched my thigh and butt from the coral reef in Roatan. So she’s been asking to see them every day and also asks if she can help me put ointment or ice on them. I tell her that I put the ointment on myself each morning and evening, but she also insists on applying her bedtime ice pack (this is her thing) to my boo boos for a few seconds to “help” me heal. It’s very sweet, so even though I don’t need it, I humor her and let her do it. And then after she takes the ice pack away, she asks me while peering up with big, wide eyes, “Does it feel better now?” To which I always respond, “Yes, Pookie, it does. Thank you for helping mama!”

A lot is tough about this age and every age of child-rearing, but I do love these cute, sweet moments so much.

Signs of a fancy breakfast

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Yesterday morning, Chris and I were invited to a new parents welcome breakfast at Kaia’s soon-to-be new school come September. It would be a mix of staff, current, and new parents so that we could all have an opportunity to get to know one another. I showed up at the event this morning before Chris did since he had to do school dropoff, and I took a quick scan of the breakfast layout. It had a lot of what I expected: a mix of bagels and spreads, pastries, yogurts, fruit, coffee, and tea. But what caught my eye immediately was the fruit spread: it was all raspberries and blueberries.

You know you are at a fancy, ultra-premium breakfast event when you see the fruit spread, and it’s all berries. We all know berries are some of the most expensive fruit (at least, here in the U.S.). There was no melon in sight, which I personally define as “filler fruit” that most caterers would use to increase the volume of fruit on a serving platter while decreasing their own costs. It’s usually too much cantaloupe and (god forbid) honeydew, and they are usually so bland that they end up just being sugar water.

The second sign this was a premium breakfast event was what Chris noticed when he took a look at the juice bottles in the ice buckets: there were bottles of cold-pressed Sumo citrus mandarin juice. These are the ultra, ultra premium, expensive, and hard to grow mandarins that we got gifted at Lunar New Year. I’d never seen this type of juice at any event or any store — anywhere. I ended up buying more and requesting Chris buy more of these. While he admitted that they did taste amazing and were worlds apart from regular mandarins, he asked me if I really wanted to continue buying these because I’d probably make our household go broke (half joking, half serious).

The event was enjoyable and worth the time. It’s clear there’s a great community here. And it’s also great to see that we’re paying for premium food for these events through our tuition money. 🙂

“Camp” setup at our San Pedro Sula hotel

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Once Kaia had outgrown a crib and pack-n-play, when traveling, we’d ask the hotels for a roll-away bed for her. All hotels accommodate this, of course, but occasionally, you get a special surprise at some properties.

We stayed at an Aloft hotel in San Pedro Sula. Aloft is known for their Camp Aloft, which encourages kids ages 2-12 to have fun by providing them with their own unique Aloft experience. They call it a “bed in a bag with special treats!” The last time Kaia had something close to a tent experience was when we had the Lovevery “fort” setup, but she quickly outgrew that because that was more for babies and younger toddlers. She’s also hidden in the tent at Chris’s aunt and uncle’s place in Melbourne, which she loved. So when we arrived at our hotel room on Saturday late afternoon, she squealed with delight when she saw her little tent bed. After taking off her shoes, she immediately ran over to the bed to hide in her tent. She was obsessed with the little windows where you could play peekaboo. I love that she still loves peekaboo… and I still wonder how long this peekaboo love will last?!

The hotel manager also tried to spoil her by giving her a full-sized bag of M&Ms and a bag of Skittles… which Chris immediately confiscated. I think by the end of the trip, he may have let her have two M&Ms and two Skittles max. I love these experiences that Kaia gets when traveling, and I love seeing people treat children well. I hope she can remember at least some of these experiences when she’s older, as at the age of 4, this is the earliest time of my life that I have very vivid memories of. And even when she isn’t able to remember, we will have lots of photos and videos to document and share with her so she can relish in the fact that she was so spoiled in these travel moments.

Seeing fish swim around us and snorkeling at West Bay Beach, Roatan

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I occasionally get asked what I love most about motherhood/parenthood. And I will say that there are a lot of things I love about it very much (also a decent number of things I cannot stand, like dealing with temper tantrums and negotiating with a tiny person), but if I had to say just one thing, I would say that I absolutely love watching her experience new things for the first time and what her reaction is. It also helps keep me more in the moment because she completely and totally lives for the moment. Whether it was the first time she had something sweet and the look of pure surprise and joy on her face, to the giggle-induced glee she got when she first stomped in puddles, I just love seeing all of her firsts and her reactions. I love watching her delight in discovering more and more about life — at least, the beauty of life. The hard and ugly stuff… well, we’ll inevitably eventually get there, won’t we?

We spent the morning at the beach just steps from the hotel, and I will say, with certainty, that this is likely my favorite beach of all time. I thought this was the case with the beaches in Boracay, but this tops that experience because here, I can actually swim not too far out from the beach and already see the Mesoamerican Barrier Reef! Where else can you go and be just a short swim away from the shore to see the barrier reef and endless colorful fishes of different shapes and sizes?!

When we stepped into the water together, Kaia immediately noticed that little fishies were swimming in the water with us. And she giggled and shrieked with so much delight that I could feel like my heart was overflowing. My little baby was so happy to see all these fishies swimming around her. And it made me so happy to see that she was happy and enjoying herself; it was a reminder of mudita, joy for someone else’s joy, once again. And then I felt this internal dilemma because I didn’t have my phone with me and wanted to capture the moment. But I still wanted to be in the moment. What to do?! So I let her splash and stare and ooh and ahh and giggle over the sergeant major fish and other silver fish swim around her and watched her revel in her joy. But after about ten minutes, I knew that the joy was going to eventually subside, as this would be her “new normal” at this beach, so I rushed to grab my phone and came back to capture just seconds of her fish-induced giggling. I could’ve listened to her giggling over the fishies swimming around her all day; I may even have that video on loop, just the audio, when we go back home.

Before this trip, I’d only ever been snorkeling two times: the very first time was in December 2014 in Cairns in the Great Barrier Reef, where we were on a boat to go out far enough to snorkel. The second time was just this last January in Cebu where we also had to go out on a island-hopping-tour boat, and we got to see the coral and endless beautiful fish in the Philippines. In Cairns, I had a “proper” snorkeling experience because all my snorkeling gear worked as intended. In the Philippines, the gear was jenky and I had to constantly adjust it because water kept flooding into my goggles. Here given we rented our gear from the hotel, everything was in perfect condition, so I didn’t have to worry about malfunctioning issues. This third time would be the first time we did snorkeling independent of a tour or boat. I love snorkeling; it’s likely one of the most fun and calming experiences ever. I’m obsessed with all the different colors that are out there in the ocean. It is a little intimidating for me because I never fully “graduated” from swimming classes and am not a strong swimmer, but thank goodness for life vests and good snorkeling equipment! The coral, fish, and water are all worth it! Unfortunately, most of the coral right off the shore is dead. And weirdly enough, some parts are so shallow (not even two feet?) and then it immediately gets really, really deep). But despite all of that, I lost count of the number of exotic, florescent fish we saw. Like in the Philippines, we saw different varieties of the florescent, rainbow colored parrotfish (stoplight parrotfish, princess parrotfish, and queen parrotfish), the sergeant majors at the shore and beyond, endless silver hued fish of different shapes and sizes, blue chromis, fairy basslets (these were so fun; bright florescent blue-purple on the front of their little bodies and florescent bright yellow on the back!), Spanish hogfish, and at least a dozen different types of angelfish and butterfly fish. I always got really, really excited whenever a school of fish would pass by. There were multiple schools of florescent dark blue and black angel-like fish swimming by me like I was just part of the furniture! I also saw a very interesting coral that was bright red and pink, and shaped like a perfect sofa cushion… and made sure to stay far away as possible from it to avoid any coral stings.

Another interesting thing happened today at the beach: Chris decided to get into sand castle making with us. He’s never done this before and has always left Kaia and me to this activity ourselves. Sand castle making, alongside searching for interesting seashells (unfortunately, there were ZERO shells on this beach), are also part of my favorite beach activities. With the borrowed shovels and buckets from the activity center, Chris was taking this job very, very seriously. He not only ensured that the castle had a moat (I always say that if there’s no moat, then it’s not a real sand castle!), but he created two watch towers and a river that ran into the moat from the shallow waves. Kaia relished Chris building the castle and eventually just delegated most of the work to her dad… classic princess behavior. I posted a video of Chris and Kaia building the castle on my private Instagram Stories, to which one of his cousins semi accurately responded, “I’ve never seen Chris do so much manual labor in my life!” I told him she said this, to which he replied, “I define manual labor.”

Kaia is always glee-filled at the beach. Ever since she was a baby, she has loved the beach. There is nothing else my Pookie loves more than warm weather, clear water (and calm waves), and sand literally everywhere. And adding all the fish swimming around her was likely the cherry on top for her morning.

Sloths, extremely premium coffee, and lunch in a mangrove

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We started our first full day in Roatan at Daniel Johnson’s Monkey and Sloth Hangout, where you can see and interact with monkeys, sloths and parrots up close. There was a time when the Hangout would allow you to hold a sloth for a few minutes, but unfortunately (for us, anyway), Honduras passed a law prohibiting this. Sloths are native to Honduras (mainland), but not to Roatan. The sloths and monkeys at the Hangout were all rescued. Some came from abusive, dirty, dingy environments. Some of the monkeys were even former pets of people who just tired of them (that type of thing makes my blood boil).

The sloths, for the most part, were… sloths. They were mostly sleeping, occasionally waking up to look at us and scratch themselves. “Sloths don’t do anything. They’re lazy. Sloths are just like koalas, just uglier,” Chris remarked. While it could be interpreted as a bit mean, he’s got a point. We watched them on their trees, and then eventually moved on to see the green and scarlet macaws up close. The macaws, if given an incentive (something tasty), would fly onto people’s heads and arms. For the second time in my life, I got to have a macaw perch on my arm. She was a lot lighter than I thought she would be. It’s likely my dad’s influence since he loves birds and most animals, but I’ve always loved these creatures. Seeing this scarlet macaw up close with her beautiful vibrant red, yellow, and blue feathers, all so tightly preened, was so much fun. Kaia was a little scared when she saw the macaws and didn’t want to get too close, but when she saw one on my arm, she immediately was intrigued. I think she is definitely more like me than Chris in this regard: Chris doesn’t care to get close to any animal unless it’s on his plate. Kaia loves looking at and petting animals.

The last stop was the spider monkeys cage, which we were warned could potentially result in us getting pooped or peed on. Given we were already there, I figured I’d be okay with that risk. Plus, I wanted Kaia to experience getting close to the monkeys. The monkeys would jump from person to person, either on our heads or shoulders, in a circle. While the monkey never climbed on top of Kaia, a monkey did get on top of me, which Kaia was super excited about and giggled endlessly for. I just loved seeing her reactions to the different animals and hearing all the questions she would ask about them and what they were doing. This animal experience definitely piqued her curiosity.

After the Hangout, we made a stop at the beautiful Spirit Origin Coffee, where we enjoyed an extremely meticulous and premium coffee tasting flight (that cost almost $50 USD!). We got to see views of the water on both sides of the building. And while I sat with Kaia on a comfy couch overlooking the ocean and we took turns drawing on her doodle pad, Chris got to sit at the coffee bar and listen to explanations of how the coffee was made and the stories behind it. I occasionally went up to the bar to share tastes and also to sniff the differences between the whole beans versus the ground beans. In all three bean scenarios, the ground vs. whole scent was a world apart! I never would have guessed the grounds were from the same whole beans. This place is so fancy that they even do a coffee omakase experience, where downstairs, you can have a full tasting menu meal with a coordinated cup of coffee to go with each course. They sent us home with two packets of coffee — each valued at about $9 USD each. The 12 oz. bags range in price from $36 to $69; we’ve never paid that much for coffee in the U.S., so I think this definitely gave us a sense of exactly how luxurious this Honduran coffee truly was.

And after the very premium coffee stop, our next stop… was a confusing one because Chris didn’t know how we’d get to the restaurant he wanted us to get to. The land ended, and there was water we’d have to go through to get to this, place, and it was unclear how we’d do that. The further east side of the island is far more local and residential feeling. We were driving in a very grassy area when a random guy came out of nowhere and asked us where we were trying to go. Chris told him he was looking for a specific restaurant that was out in the mangroves, so this man told us that we could pay $10 to park in this private spot (a patch of grass in front of someone’s house), and his friend would help boat us over to the bar. We went through the mangroves and onto a rickety floating bar setup to eat some fried pork, fried red snapper, and tostones, all in the company of the bar attendant and another local. They were likely wondering how the hell we even found this place. But Chris does like to work his magic. The food was really good and fresh. The service was very friendly and helpful; everyone was warm and spoke excellent English. And we got to have lunch in the middle of a mangrove — how often does this happen? Kaia even got to see a baby jellyfish up close because our boat guy found a tiny one and flipped it over so we could see its tentacles up close.

And with that, we went back to West End to pick up some excellent jerk chicken from Anthony’s Chicken & More and then went back to the hotel for more sunset pool time (and more fighting over the floaties between mama and Kaia, then a delicious dinner in our temporary apartment.

We’re not normally resort people, but I must say that I really, really love this hotel property. I love the pool setup and how it’s steps away from the beautiful white sand beach with clear waters. The service has been extremely warm and hospitable. I love the decor and the layout and the different types of living setups, from regular hotel rooms to apartments with balconies to bungalows. And I even love the little details, like the bathroom layouts in the common areas and the open circle swings randomly placed inside. I love that you can see the ocean and the sunset right from the hotel pool, and we’ve been able to enjoy that to get in our “resort time.” I also like that the resort fee includes rentals of snorkeling equipment (everything from the snorkels to the fins) and life vests — and even sand castle building tools! This is very important for my little Pookie!

Mother’s Day breakfast at school on Friday

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Every year around Mother’s Day, Kaia’s preschool hosts a Mother’s Day breakfast/tea event where they invite all the mothers/mother-figures to school for a little party. Last year, I missed it since we took a long weekend to Rhode Island. But this year, I was able to attend. Since the classes are all quite small (Kaia’s class has THREE STUDENTS in it, with two teachers, one who teaches in English, the second in Chinese!), they combine all the kids and parents in the same classroom for this event. And while it was beautifully set up with food and hot tea and drinks for all, the parents just didn’t really want to interact with each other. It didn’t matter if you were on either end of the table or in the middle. Not a single parent wanted to proactively talk to anyone else. Every parent was mostly eating or interacting with their own kids. On the 4K side of the table where I was, I attempted and failed at small talk with the two moms of the other two 4K kids. It was mostly a lot of question, answer, question, answer, with me doing most of the questioning. Very occasionally, I got asked, “What about you / you guys?” questions back, but that was only because I asked first. It honestly felt like pulling teeth. And when it was time to go, I was more than ready to leave. Kaia was sad to see me go and started crying, but I really had to get away from these parents who seem to have zero desire to socialize even for the facade of being friendly.

I have really hated the lack of community at the last two schools Kaia has been at. I hope that we are able to feel some sense of community and camaraderie with the parents at her new school come September.

Kaia’s little subway loving friend she sees only on the subway

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Several months ago during school drop-off commutes, Chris told me that Kaia had made a little friend on the subway who loves to call out the subway stops as much as he does. Little A, who is several months younger than Kaia, lives on the Upper East Side and commutes down to West 4th Street for his 3s program. Kaia and Little A noticed each other when one day on a southbound B/D train, they overheard the other also yelling out the subway stops as they were approaching each station. Realizing their mutual love of the subway bonded them instantly, and from that point onward, the two kids and their two dads would sit on the subway together. Today, I finally got to meet Little A and his dad. We were stopping at a station, and instantly a kid on the platform saw Kaia’s face peering out and started screaming and yelling, “KAIA! KAIA!” As soon as I could make out what he was yelling, I realized that this must be infamous Little A.

Little A’s dad and I introduced ourselves and made some small talk. We both learned that both our kids would be attending local schools within walking distance of our homes come September, so unfortunately for their love of the subway, they’d no longer be taking the train on weekdays roundtrip anymore. We both laughed about how other people seem to think this is a plus given closer proximity to homes and the ability to walk to school, whereas we knew that our kids would be sad to no longer have a reason to ride the train every day. I told his dad that we usually are out and about and take the trains on Saturdays and some Sundays we are in town, so it wouldn’t be like she’d have zero subway rides anymore. We all love the fact that we live in a city with such great, convenient public transport, and there was no way Kaia would be a stranger to the subway system once she started kindergarten.

It is crazy to think how almost two years of her 3s and 4s programs are very close to coming to an end — it feels like it came and went in a flash. As we initially approached her 3K program starting, I’ll be honest and admit I was dreading the daily commute to pick her up. But after the first week, we all adapted to it pretty seamlessly, and it just became our new known routine. I’ve embraced it for having an excuse to be in Chinatown every day, and I’ve especially embraced it for having reasons to try out and patronize new and old favorite local businesses. Frankly, I’m not even sure who is going to miss this more, Kaia or me. But I do reflect upon all our subway commuting experiences together and I love all the moments I’ve shared and witnessed with her on the train. She’s had such great, memorable experiences, making new friends like Little A, having cute interactions with strangers young and old who think she’s super cute or smart or both, and witnessing the extreme kindnesses of complete strangers who give up their seats for her or both of us, and just want her to enjoy her little corner seat on the old B/D trains. This is one of the many greatnesses of living in New York City that I will always relish.

When parenting is not fun

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Kaia has been in a mood today. She was pouty at drop-off when Chris brought her to school. Then when I picked her up this late afternoon, she insisted that we had to wait for a little friend in the 3s program since she saw his mom outside waiting. I annoyingly complied and waited. When the mom and kid wanted to wait for the elevator and Kaia did, too, I insisted this was ridiculous. She yelled, so I waited for about two minutes, then finally had to nearly drag her down the stairs because the elevator was too slow, and I refused to put up with it. Whenever she is around her “peers,” she wants to be with them and do whatever they are doing (e.g. waiting for the stupid and slow elevator) for as long as possible. Most times, I humor her. Today, it was just frustrating me.

We got on the train uptown, and I gave her a pack of seaweed to snack on. Kaia refused to give it back to me when we got to our stop, so I (dumbly) let her hold it as we walked up the stairs. She then proceeded to predictably drop the seaweed box, wasting about five strips of seaweed. I hate food waste. She knew she did something wrong and yelled, “It was an accident!” And I brought her to the trash bin to throw the wasted strips away. The irritation was just growing.

But then the cherry on top really happened: instead of holding my hand to walk up the stairs out of the train station, Kaia haphazardly started running in front of hoards and hoards of people trying to enter the subway entrance because she wanted me to take a different stairway than she did. When she ran into one person and they stopped, she would back up and try to run into yet another person. It was as though she had suddenly stopped comprehending that she was in other people’s way and had to walk up where there was no one in front of her. After calling for her multiple times when she refused to listen, I eventually had to grab her and carry her up the stairs and across the street. She was kicking, screaming, and crying the whole time. I rarely care when people stare at me carrying or disciplining her when she’s fussy. But I really, really hate it when she inconveniences other people or gets in other people’s way because it’s so inconsiderate. If she wants to throw a tantrum, fine, but do not do it in the middle of a chaotic subway station with people trying to get by us. No one in New York City wants to be slowed down by anyone else.

She screamed and cried for the entire two blocks home. Part of that time I had to carry her. Part of that time, I was nearly dragging her. And all of that time, she was crying and yelling. I stayed as even keeled as I could. I rarely even raised my voice. But the entire time, I just thought: Really? This kid is almost 4.5 years old. When do the tantrums over things that make zero sense ever end? Do they ever end…? My goal is that Kaia will not grow up to be some self-centered, “me me me” person and think the world should revolve around her. But in these moments where she is physically running into other people and expecting them to make way for her, I am so tempted to just slap some sense into her.

Yes, 36 years ago, my mom would have done just that: she would have slapped, hit, or beaten me into submission, even for the tiniest infractions. In fact, I still remember once when I was the same age as Kaia today, 4-year-old Yvonne did something my mom did not like, and she immediately pulled me into a public restroom stall, beat me, then yelled at me to stop crying and wipe my face, “Otherwise people will think I am abusing you!” I am not doing that with my kid. …Though I’d be lying if I said I never thought about it in these moments of total chaos.

Well, it’s a good thing there aren’t thought police out there.

Buttermilk Falls State Park

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Our last stop in the Finger Lakes region before heading back home today was at Buttermilk Falls State Park. The park is named after the foaming cascade (little waterfall) formed by Buttermilk Creek as it flows down the steep valley side toward Cayuga Lake, one of the eleven Finger Lakes. It was named for its “frothy” appearance of its churning waters. Similar to the rock formations at Taughannock Falls State Park, the rocks form in endless horizontal layers, creating flat slabs and angular, even sharp edges as they erode and fracture. The gorge and waterfalls formed since the last ice age, within the last twenty to thirty thousand years.

We did the gorge trail at Buttermilk Falls this morning, which was quite wet on and off throughout the walk up and down the stairs. There were times when we actually just had to walk through large puddles, which soaked our shoes and socks (Pookster was not a huge fan of this, but she was a good little trooper and sucked it up). After going through three of these gorge trails already, I am so impressed with how well maintained they are. The paths are very clearly defined; it would be impossible to take a wrong turn or get lost (…unlike the Mount Jo debacle I caused back in the Adirondacks in 2014 when I thought I would be disowned by my then-future in-laws). There’s really zero way for you to get lost on any of them, and all the stairs are sturdy and taken care of.

While the main Buttermilk Falls is impressive at this park, I would actually say that my favorite part is along the gorge trail further down, where you can see all the pinnacle-like rock formations with layers upon layers of stone etched out. The pinnacles flank all the little waterfalls that keep flowing into each other. When you look at the pinnacles, it almost appears as though a human etched them to look this way; it’s so beautiful and scenic, just asking to be stared at and photographed!

After this trip, I would say that the state parks in the Finger Lakes region are likely one of the most underrated, lesser known, and lesser appreciated public parks in the country. While I’d always been aware of the Finger Lakes region for wine and hiking, I didn’t actually realize how “gorges” the area was until doing research for this trip, and then finally going on it. I’d love to come back and see Watkins Glen State Park and some of the other gorges in the area. Who would have guessed that scenery like this existed in upstate New York?! We’re still always learning about the state, country, and world we live in.