Category Archives: Child rearing

Watching your child while she’s unaware you’re watching

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The first time we were able to observe Kaia without her knowing was at her first daycare/school, where we had in-class camera access throughout the school day. It was interesting to have that view into how she acts not just with other adults/figures of authority without us there, but also how she mingled with other children of various ages.

When I’m staying at Chris’s parents’ home, there are many times I’ve observed her when she hasn’t been aware. The easiest times are when she’s in the backyard, frolicking, running, and playing with Chris’s mom. She thinks I’m in the kitchen/lounge area cooking or doing work on my computer. And while I am usually doing those things, I often stop and just watch what she’s doing and how they interact with each other.

In the yard, they do things that you’d expect: they’re watering plants, picking up fallen leaves or twigs. Kaia is asking about flowers, and her Suma is quizzing her on colors and shapes. She’s also educating her on types of plants and what different leaves look like. I can hear them through the window discuss the maple leaves falling from their tree, and Kaia is giggling hysterically as she gathers a handful of fresh green maple leaves and starts throwing them about, causing Suma to get flustered and lightly scold her and tell her not to make too much of a mess. When Kaia gets bored of the flora education, she moves on and brings out her Bluey ball and demands that Suma kick the ball. When Suma doesn’t kick the ball hard enough or the “right way,” then Kaia gets mad and demands that she do it again and again and again… until it meets her “standard.”

I was watching them this morning, and I just felt this overwhelming feeling of happiness. I kept staring out at the garden, smiling at them. They were completely oblivious that they were being watched. It was almost like my heart was swelling to see how happy Kaia is to be spending time with her paternal grandma. The concept of “mudita” strikes again. She loves this house, the seemingly endless rooms, the stairs she can run up and down, the large bathrooms and the enormous space compared to our two-bed, two-bathroom Manhattan apartment. She loves seeing her Suma and Topa every day and knowing they will be there. Out of nowhere, she started yelling today, “Suma, I like your house! I LOVE YOUR HOUSE! I LOVE THIS HOUSE!”

I didn’t know that my heart could ever expand as much as it has being a mother. But I feel like it still hasn’t stopped expanding just yet. It feels like there is more love for her and our family to come.

Lack of comfort discussing the elimination of bodily wastes, and Poop and Fart Bingo games!

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Since Kaia was born, Chris and I have had an ongoing discussion about her poops and pees. Pediatricians and all healthcare professionals recommend it for parents to do for their babies since it’s the only way to know what actually went in (because… what goes in must also come out!). This is especially crucial if you are breastfeeding and especially nursing, since with direct breastfeeding, there is no other way to truly measure what the baby consumed. We used to keep a paper log, then a Google spreadsheet log. And then once Kaia turned 14 months of age, we would just have a verbal back and forth about it throughout the day or week. For us, we’re just trying to be good parents and track our child’s inputs and outputs, so we don’t see this being peculiar at all. We never saw it as something we liked or didn’t like to discuss; for us, it seemed like the responsible parent thing to do to ensure our child’s good health.

One funny thing I’ve noticed over the last four years now is that Chris’s parents are very, very uncomfortable with conversations around… the elimination of bodily wastes. It doesn’t matter if it’s pooping, peeing, or farting — they immediately look awkward and embarrassed, and his dad usually tries his best to quickly divert the conversation in another direction. He would shift in his seat, look another way where no one was to avert eye contact, and act as though no poop/pee conversation were happening at all. A number of times, his mom has gotten exasperated by the constant bodily waste conversation that she has exclaimed in many different ways, “My goodness! So much talk about poo and pee all the time! Will you still be keeping tabs on this for Kaia when she’s in her teens and 20s?”

Chris’s and my parents’ generation obviously had very different newborn/child-rearing advice than Chris and I’ve had. Things change and evolve over time, and I think on the surface, they do recognize this and try to follow our lead with most things we do for Kaia. With the poop/pee talk, there’s zero chance they could try to get us to stop it even if they wanted to because we’ll do what we need to do to ensure our child is healthy, nourished, and having the appropriate outputs in a day. It’s more just amusing to me how some people are so uncomfortable with actions that need to be done by all of us every single day, multiple times a day. It’s true that none of us really needs an audience there when we’re on the toilet or farting. But with child rearing, the conversation does need to be had. It gets even more hilarious because Chris and I comment now on how big and stinky her poops can be (this is physical proof that she eats a varied, well-rounded diet!) as well as how long her pees are, and his parents think we’re a little crazy about this. We also tell them how she loves to see her poops and peer closely into the toilet bowl after. And she loves to get reactions from me yelling out in Chinese, “What a big poop!” Sometimes, she even insists that I come over to see it when Chris is in charge of wiping her and going through the hand-washing motion together.

I thought about his parents’ lack of comfort around all things toilet related when we were browsing a shop along Chapel Street in South Yarra today, and we came across these games called “Poop Bingo and “Fart Bingo.” The Bingos are geared for playing with kids, and they are exactly what you expect them to be: they show you caricatures of animals and their different types of poop, as well as… what may come out of an animal’s anus when they fart (apparently, those potential… things that can come out are not technically poop!). I jokingly suggested to Chris that we buy them to play with his parents, and he chuckled and thought it could be funny. The better (and cheaper) side of me decided not to get it because the amusement would be short-lived, and they might play it once or twice with us and then stop. That probably would not be the greatest ROI (return on investment) on a gift.

Martinborough wine and pizza and Putangirua Pinnacles Scenic Reserve

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Today, we drove about an hour northeast of Wellington to the famous Martinborough wine region of New Zealand. While globally, Marlborough in the South Island is renowned for its sauvignon blanc, which is the region’s most famous export (and it’s pretty darn delicious — it really is just as vibrant, zesty, and crisp as it is described to be!), Martinborough in the North Island is known for its pinot noir. But the region also produces delicious and notable chardonnay, sauvignon blanc, pinot gris, and syrah. We visited the Nga Waka Winery, where we tasted some local pinot noirs and chardonnays, and also enjoyed their Napoletana style “Roving Pizza.”

We chose their pizza special of the day, which was mortadella, fior di latte mozzarella (‘flower of the milk” variety that is made using cow’s milk in the same style as buffalo mozzarella), crushed pistachios, lots of garlic, and fresh basil. We pretty much inhaled that pizza — it had the perfect crust, perfect cheese, a ton of intense garlic which I loved, and almost had an addictive quality. When I have pizzas like this that are unquestionably incredible and perfect, it always reminds me of how people love to make absolute statements like, “the best pizza in the world is in New York/New Jersey/Connecticut/Italy.” I think if those people had this pizza at Nga Waka Winery that they would be lying if they said they could get better pizza in any of those places than this. I left this winery wondering if we’d have even just an “okay” level meal while in New Zealand this time around, and so far after five out of six days, i would say that the answer to that is negative.

After our tasting and pizza/calamari lunch, we headed towards Putangirua Pinnacles Scenic Reserve for a hike. Putangirua Pinnacles are some of the best earth pillar formations in New Zealand. The last time we saw earth pillar formations, also known as hoodoos, was at Bryce Canyon National Park in Utah, back in the U.S. Bryce Canyon is known for having the largest collection of hoodoos in the world; this scenic reserve would not have the largest collection or the tallest hoodoos, but they’d still be fascinating to visit, and we’d also get some exercise on the way there! The history behind these hoodoos is that about seven million years ago, the Aorangi Range was an island. As the mountains eroded, gravel was washed down to the coast, where they formed a sedimentary layer. Over the last 120,000 years, the Putangirua Stream exposed this ancient layer of gravel to the erosive forces of rain and floods. Some of the sediments stayed concreted together, while others washed away. The result is the Putangirua Pinnacles, often called “an amazing collection of hoodoos.” This area was used as a filming location for the “Paths of the Dead” scene in Return of the King, the third movie in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Somehow, we managed to get Kaia to hike the entire two-hour round-trip hike without much whining and whinging at all. The only times she had to be carried by Chris were when we had to cross little streams on rocks, and she was afraid she would fall in. She did amazingly well, and even when she stumbled a few times and fell, she still kept soldiering on, despite a lot of uneven terrain and a lot of uphill steps and climbing. We were so proud of her when we all made it up to the top, and even more so when she went all the way down and still did it independently without demanding.to stop and be carried.

This is our third time to New Zealand together, and I felt a little sad as we came to the end of today, which is our last full day here before we fly back to Melbourne tomorrow afternoon. New Zealand is this beautiful country made of volcanic islands that seems like there’s always so much to see and so little time. But I guess that just means that there is always next time. And since I paid the $100 NZD conservation fee (Chris and Pookster didn’t have to pay since they have Australian passports) on top of my nominal ETA fee, which lasts two years, maybe we should come back again soon!

Berry picking continued, plus kiwi hospitality and friendliness

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We drove up from Wellington towards Palmerston North today. It’s a city that has history within Chris’s family since his uncle went to college there (he studied food technology; I clearly went on the wrong educational path…). And during that time, Chris’s dad visited him and did some physical labor I had no idea about (and would be hard to imagine if you knew him as he is today!) in order to fund his travels. For his first day, he tried to carry hay barrels and quit after one shift (it was physically grueling and intense, to say the least). Then, he proceeded to spend about six weeks, six days a week, about eight hours a day, picking strawberries. I cannot imagine Chris’s dad picking fruit all day, any day — ever!

Since Chris’s cousin’s husband is originally from Palmerston North, Chris asked him for suggestions on what to do. He pointed us to the Levin Adventure Park, a humongous outdoor playground with play areas for kids of multiple age ranges, and could even keep adults (like me!) entertained. The space was so well appointed that it even had clean public restrooms that were attended to regularly, plus an indoor picnicking area in the event of inclement weather.

Chris’s cousin’s husband also suggested we look into blueberry farms, since the area was known for them, and we were coming at peak blueberry season. So amazingly, Chris actually took us to a blueberry farm for pick-your-own! He has always been anti fruit picking (e.g. “Why am I paying to pick? It’s like I am paying to do work!!”), but he said that this was not apple picking (which he absolutely detests because in the Northeast of the U.S. once fall comes, this is what every family seems to do), and if we were going to do some fruit picking, it better be something as good as berries and in a place as beautiful as New Zealand. So, I suppose those are all fair points to make. When we arrived at the farm, Kaia was napping and very unhappy to be woken up. We plopped her on a chair overlooking the blueberry shrubs and said if she wanted to join us, she could. It took all of five minutes for her to ask to enter the picking area. Here, the owners said we could taste but “no free lunches,” so unfortunately for Kaia, she was blocked from tasting as much as she wanted. But she still enjoyed the experience and loved picking every single blueberry and happily dropping them into our bucket.

When the time came to weigh the blueberries and pay, I realized that credit card would not be accepted, and so Chris ended up driving about five minutes away to find the nearest ATM. When I explained this to the owner when I asked if she could hold my bucket of blueberries, she asked where Chris had gone, she looked at me as though I were crazy. Knowing we traveled all the way from New York to come here, she told me, “What?! No! That’s ridiculous – just for less than a kilo of blueberries?! That drive isn’t worth it!” And then she tried to tell me I could have almost a kilo of blueberries we picked for free!

“Ohmigosh — please, no, no, no!” I exclaimed to her, equally shocked by her generosity and kind gesture. “My husband already left to find an ATM. Plus, there is no way I am going to be the annoying American who stole blueberries from your farm!” She smiled at this.

While we waited for Chris to come back, we had some conversation, discussed the farm, her bed and breakfast right behind. She even entertained Kaia with puzzles and asking her about herself. It was really sweet, and I could just tell she genuinely enjoyed interacting with Kaia and must love kids. These are the types of interactions you tend to get overseas, when you’re not in the U.S., but you’re in small towns and in places where people are genuinely well meaning, warm, and kind hearted. New Zealanders/kiwis are known for their friendliness, and even though I didn’t take her up on her offer to get free blueberries, I truly appreciated the generosity and kindness she extended to us.

I always get a little sad when people are so distrustful. Of course I am old enough now to understand where those sentiments stem from. But in all the times I’ve traveled, 9.5 times out ten, I am greeted by warmth and kindness from total strangers. Traveling has made me more positive about the world even when things back home feel really like they are crumbling. These little moments are times I will always remember.

Excellent coffee and pastries, Te Kopahou Reserve, and New Zealand Parliament buildings

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We started the day today with excellent scone, croissant, and coffee at Extra Extra Caffetteria around the corner from our hotel, and then we proceeded onto Te Kopahou Reserve, which is on the south coast of Wellington. It’s quite rocky and rugged. We walked along the rocks for quite some time with Kaia without a stroller, and amazingly she walked the entire way with no fuss. She actually loved the walk quite a lot because it had some of her favorite things: rocks, endless sticks, and sea water! We stopped a lot to let her dig her hands into the rocks and water. She dug endless holes, threw pebbles into the waves, and poked her long sticks everywhere. And like me, when we got to more sandy areas, Pookster delighted in searching for shells. We got lucky and found some beautiful pearly abalone shells that were mostly in tact, but the laws are quite strict here in that you cannot remove anything – rocks, shells, plants — from the reserve. So I had to insist to Pookster many times that we had to leave the shells behind “for other people” to enjoy. It reminded me of a book I read recently that mentioned how young children are just innately drawn to nature: they love rocks, soil, greenery, water, sand. Anything that physically immerses their bodies into the earth keeps them happy and interested. And Kaia certainly loves digging her hands into sand, dirt, and rocks! She could easily have spent the entire day amusing herself in that one spot with the teeny tiny waves, teeny tiny pebbles and rocks.

In the afternoon, we went to visit the Beehive, aka New Zealand Parliament, and did an official tour inside. There were a few things I really enjoyed about Kiwi Parliament: a) you can park just outside the buildings, so it just feels very casual like any other office (this would never, ever, ever happen in the U.S.); b) former prime minister Jacinda Ardern (aka one of the most incredible women on earth) inaugurated an official children’s play space RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE OFFICIAL PARLIAMENT BUILDING. It’s this tall, windy slide that has a fun, modern, sleek, organic design that you can walk up and slide down — even I loved going up and down the slide as an adult! And then c) I really loved the Maori design elements throughout the interior of the Parliament buildings. There are doorways, paintings, sculptures – all hand carved or painted, and even inlaid with paua (aka abalone) shells in them. As a comparison, I could never imagine any Native American tribe being represented in the Capitol Building or at the White House in the U.S. There’s genuine respect for Maori culture in New Zealand… there’s really no respect at all for indigenous peoples of the U.S.

Melbourne: a Vietnamese food mecca, and when I get my Vietnamese food/bakery fix

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Over the last ten years, I’ve been really excited to see how modern Vietnamese restaurants have spread throughout New York City. Most of these spots are owned and operated by second and third generation Vietnamese Americans who saw the lack of really good Vietnamese options in this great city, and wanted to solve for that. While I love these restaurants, they unfortunately have not filled in the gap for Vietnamese bakeries. The mere concept of “Vietnamese bakery” is very, very foreign in New York City, which is odd given how diverse the population there is. The closest thing I have seen to a “Vietnamese bakery” in terms of selection of both (“Asian sweet”) sweet and savory options would be Banh Mi Co Ut. But the selection is relatively small, and frankly, it’s quite pricey given the small portion sizes. When I pick up something like banh da lon (Vietnamese pandan, coconut, and mung bean steamed layer cake) or banh gio (a savory steamed cake made of rice, quail egg, seasoned pork, mushroom), whatever I get is meant as a little snack for one person; it’s not really meant to be shared given the small size. But the thing is — Vietnamese food is like the majority of Asian foods: they are meant to be shared; Vietnamese people don’t usually order a la carte unless it’s banh mi or a bowl of noodle soup. So this always felt a bit awkward for me when I’d pick up one thing at Banh Mi Co Ut and know I’d inevitably have to split up what was already a small portion.

Well, Melbourne’s Vietnamese options are not lacking in the slightest. In fact, it’s probably one of the most diverse places when it comes to ALL Asian food in the entire world. Melbourne has not one, not two, but THREE Vietnamese neighborhoods for you to choose from: Springvale, Richmond, and Footscray. Our favorite area that Chris has been taking me to since year one of my coming down under for Christmas (that is 2012 — 13 years ago!!) is Springvale. I love the sheer variety of restaurants, hole-in-the-walls, the multiple shopping centers filled with little eateries, shops, bakeries, butchers, fresh foods, prepared foods. It feels like a more modern version of the markets you see in Vietnam. Granted, we usually go back to the same places at least once each visit (Bun Bun Bakery for banh mi is our all-time favorite and must-visit; HS Cakes is our beloved bakery for durian cakes, crepes, and ice cream — this is also where one of Kaia’s 1st birthday cakes came from – durian cake!)), but we also try to check out new spots to branch out. So it ends up being a mini food crawl while there.

Today, we started at Bun Bun Bakery and shared a bbq pork and mixed ham roll (“mixed ham roll” is essentially the traditional Vietnamese banh mi that has all the cold cuts, plus the usual fixings of Viet mayo, pate, pickled daikon/carrot, cilantro, chilies). Then we walked through the Springvale shopping centers to explore all the local fresh fruit, and we ended up sampling and hauling home 1.5 kilos of super plump, bright pink lychees, and another kilo of huge, fat passion fruits. Kaia got to admire different vendors in the shopping center stuff banh mi to order. I also stumbled upon a huge stand called Ben Thanh Hot Bread and Cakes, where my eyes immediately gravitated toward the fried sesame balls stuffed with mashed, lightly sweetened mung bean (it’s the Vietnamese equivalent of the Chinese jian dui). I picked up one of these for $2 since Chris doesn’t really care about these, and I figured Kaia might just have a bite (and this sesame ball was super fresh – the texture was deceptively light and airy, and the outside was so crispy!). But then, I saw that there were multiple pre-packaged containers of my favorite banh da lon, which Kaia also enjoys. And unlike at Banh Mi Co Ut, this container had four fat slices! I asked the vendor how much it was, and she told me it was $6.50 AUD. That’s just over $1 USD/slice! I felt like I had hit the jackpot!

So I paid for the banh da lon container, and we parked ourselves at a little bench inside the shopping center so that Kaia and I could enjoy them. I showed her the container and asked her what it was, and she immediately recognized it and went crazy.

“I want it! I want it!” Pookster said over and over again with the most eager-beaver grin on her face. Kaia practiced daintily peeling the layers apart and then not-so-daintily stuffed them into her mouth.

These banh da lon slices were so luxurious. They were so soft that it was clear to me these cakes were freshly steamed that morning. The layers peeled easily from each other, so it’s also just a fun thing to eat. The fragrant pandan and coconut, the nutty and creamy mung bean layer, the fun glutinous rice texture — these slices were just perfect. The ones at Banh Mi Co Ut – annoyingly it’s unclear how “fresh” they are because when they give it to you, it’s pretty hard (that’s a sign they were refrigerated or even frozen). And so they advise you to microwave it for about 30 seconds when you’re ready to eat it.

We also stopped by a very popular and casual Malaysian restaurant for some quick drinks and roti canai and roti telur, then picked up some taro ice cream for the road from HS Cakes. Everything was delicious. But I will admit that for me personally, the biggest food highlight of the day was that Ben Thanh bakery stand stop (I still loved Bun Bun very much, though, so I hope they aren’t offended). I got two items from there, and both were 10/10 for freshness, tastiness/quality, and value. I think Kaia would also agree with me. I am definitely adding that bakery stand to my regular rotation for all future visits!

I will always love Vietnamese bakery foods and have a soft spot in my heart (and belly) for them. But of the places we go to regularly, Melbourne, and specifically, Springvale, is really the main place where I can get my fix for these cravings. Just the mere sight of these items being available always makes my eyes glimmer.

Happy 4th birthday to my little love Kaia Pookie

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My sweet Kaia Pookie: You are my purest joy and all at once my most intense infuriation. Every day, I learn more about the meaning of happiness, joy, and love – all because of your sheer existence.

Earlier this year, I read a book by the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu that discusses the concept of “mudita,” or sympathetic joy, a joy that celebrates others’ joy, delights in the good fortune and happiness of others without jealousy. And I realized that because of you, I get to experience that feeling every single day when something excites and delights you. Your happiness is my happiness; your pain is also my pain. We are inextricably linked for life. You are never going to escape me even if you want to!

Some days, I wish I could bottle up our moments together, that I could keep you safe and whole and little in my arms forever. But every day, my little love, you are getting bigger and bigger and less and less little. For now, though, you are still my little one, and I’m still your safe place. And that is enough to make this moment of your sweetness eternal in my heart. I hope you always know how hard I am trying to be the best mumma to you, the best example to you that I can possibly be.

It sounds a little ridiculous considering how many people get pregnant and give birth every single day, but every day, I count my blessings and consider myself so, so lucky to have you in my life. I know others who have not been as fortunate to have children who wanted to become parents, and so I know that the gift I have is not one that everyone is privileged and lucky enough to experience.

Happy 4th birthday, my sweet Kaia Pookie, aka Hoji, aka Pookster. You are my forever love, the one who has given my life far more sweetness and joy than I ever could have previously fathomed. Thank you for being my sweet, cheeky, rambunctious little Pookie Pie every single day. Mumma and Daddy love you more than words could ever fully express.

First onsite “evaluation” for kindergarten

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Kaia will be starting kindergarten next school year, so the last couple months for us (okay, primarily Chris) have been spent researching different options in our area, both private and public. We’ve narrowed it down to two private schools to apply to, and both require online applications, application fees, parent interviews, parent essays, teacher recommendations (yes, really, if applicable from daycare/3K/4K), and child onsite evaluations. The onsite evaluation is typically a 3-4-hour block of time when you drop your child off at the school, and they are brought into a class of same-aged children to participate in the day’s lesson, and are then evaluated and scored.

These onsite evaluations are things I had only heard of previously, but I had always thought were a little nuts. What exactly are they even being evaluated on at such an early age? Children as young as just 6 months old are brought in for elite school evaluations. What are they judged on — how much or how loudly they babble, or how quickly they can crawl? The whole idea for such early ages seemed so absurd to me. Even at ages 2-4, this still just seemed so, so early to me. One of the parents I was in touch with at one of our consideration schools told me not to worry too much about the onsite evaluation or the parent interview. He summed it up as, “They want to make sure you both are decent people, and for the child evaluation, they basically want to have proof that your child is not disruptive.” So in other words, they want to make sure Pookster doesn’t smash all the windows, throw chairs and tables, or attempt to beat up all her classmates. Got it.

But we like both of these schools a lot, and so we want to “make sure we’re considering all our options,” as Chris said. So, we threw Kaia’s hat in the ring for her. Today’s school was our first onsite evaluation. Chris brought her in at 8:20, and I picked her up at noon. It ended up working out schedule-wise for us because Friday was her last day of school at her current school for the year. This evening, we’re leaving on a long-haul flight to Melbourne for Christmas. So we got to send Kaia to her onsite evaluation (aka, free childcare… or well, technically, childcare paid for by this school application fee!!) while we packed up the last bits, finished the final load of laundry, and I got some work done before we were heading to the airport.

I wasn’t sure how she would be or whether she would have liked the experience. We told her that this was “practice kindergarten” and that she would be in a class where the teachers would speak in Chinese to her, and all the kids would speak Chinese. So we encouraged her to listen and participate, and to speak as much Chinese as she could. I always know she understands Chinese. I am not always confident she can speak much other than the most basic. So I tried not to get my hopes up too much.

After I signed in to pick her up at noon, the founder greeted me and walked me to her classroom to get her. When I came in, the main teacher greeted me. In Chinese (this was a bit presumptuous, but in the end, I was actually happy with it since I understood everything she shared), the teacher did a quick but thorough run-through of what they did all morning: morning introduction, meeting, and discussion, exercise, snack time, lesson time, and wrap-up. Kaia had one pee break and was offered a pee at the end, but she declined (love this level of detail for this age). Throughout the whole day, Kaia understood what was communicated and responded in kind. She also participated throughout, and was very enthusiastic in her participation, especially with exercise (haha). She was well-behaved and listened throughout.

I felt like such a beaming, proud Asian mother of her Asian kid. She did well! The teacher was really happy with her level of understanding and participation! Kaia seemed to enjoy it and said that she liked her new (temporary) classmates and enjoyed the teachers. Pookster said she liked her practice kindergarten. This made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe this could really be a future place for her. But at this point, only time will tell where she lands.

“I am Daddy’s boot. I am Mummy’s heart!”

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I’ve lost count of the number of “phases” that Kaia has gone through. She’s currently in a lot of different phases, including constantly asking who bought or made what item she owns, loving “pretending” or imaginative play, and inserting “actually” into almost all her sentences. She loves to look at pictures of food or other people eating, then pretend to grab said food and start munching away on it. She also loves to share all the junky food that her classmates at school like to eat, and then she shares her opinion of said food (e.g. “Bobby really likes chips, but I actually like lollipops more.” This statement is also coming from a child who has never had a real lollipop before, but hey, who is keeping track?).

A regular bedtime routine we have is that once we tuck her in, Kaia likes to ask either for a band-aid or an ice pack. Chris realized how obsessed she was with band-aids, and he also realized how unsustainable that would be (read; expensive!!) for these branded Bluey and Paw Patrol band-aids he had bought. So somehow, he managed to procure a pack of a THOUSAND band-aids, of various designs and colors, just to indulge our child a bit. She insists on opening the band-aid, peeling each piece off carefully and handing it to me, then selecting the special part of her body where it will go (it’s usually somewhere on her arm, leg, or knee). Then, I kiss her good night, and she passes out within ten to fifteen minutes.

I’m still in shock that she is turning four in just a few days. Sometimes, it feels like just yesterday when I was waddling around this apartment and New York, about to give birth to her any day four years ago. I loved every moment of being pregnant, even when I was dealing with sciatica, even when I had to pee almost every hour, and even when doctors were trying to freak me out about potentially inducing me early. And as I think about the last four years, sometimes I just cannot believe how lucky Chris and I got with her. Kaia is this super vivacious, rambunctious, curious, sweet, loving child, and she is truly all ours. I never thought my heart could expand as much as it has over these last four-plus years (including pregnancy, of course).

While Chris and I were drinking hot chocolate yesterday evening out of the Christmas market mugs we’d brought back from Vienna and Basel during previous European Thanksgiving trips, Kaia noticed that Chris’s mug was shaped like a boot while mine was shaped like a heart. She loved both designs, and declared multiple times, “I am Daddy’s boot. I am Mummy’s heart!”

I smiled so hard at that. “Yes, Pookie,” I responded to her. “You are most definitely mumma’s heart.”

Kaia’s 4th birthday party at school and all the things it entails

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We asked the teachers to reserve today for Kaia’s early 4th birthday celebration since she will not be at school next week, and so Kaia’s been anticipating her school birthday party for weeks now. Chris organized and put together all the kids’ goodie bags. I pre-ordered her birthday cupcakes from Sugar Sweet Sunshine a short walk away from her school and would be responsible for delivering the goodie bags, birthday party snacks, and picking up her helium filled birthday balloons today. I ordered an assorted mix of cupcakes with variations of chocolate and vanilla cake and buttercream. I know Kaia will specifically want the chocolate cupcake with the chocolate frosting. But she specifically asked me to get vanilla cupcakes, as well, because two of her classmates only eat vanilla, she said. My caring Pookie thinks about others even when it’s her own birthday party.

Luckily, my 9:30 call got cancelled today, so I was actually able to do both the balloons and the cupcake pickup earlier in the day to avoid the impending rain in the weather forecast. For the balloons, I went to the same little shop in the Lower East Side that I found last year. The same guy was there to help me. I asked for a hot pink metallic “4” balloon and initially thought that was all I’d get. But then I kept looking at his other balloons and quickly got swayed by a unicorn balloon I knew Kaia would adore. I asked the employee how much the unicorn balloon would be, and when he told me the total for both, I sheepishly checked my wallet to see if I had enough cash. I was annoyed to find out I was exactly one buck short. He clearly didn’t want to deal with a credit card fee, so when I told him I was just a dollar short, he told me not to worry about it, and he handed me the balloons once I gave him the cash. It was win-win for both of us!

Even though Kaia’s school will not be near here next year, I love this little shop, and I love this guy who works here. Both times, he was consistently friendly, helpful, eager to please, and quick. Who knows — I may come all the way down here just to get her future balloons and to support this little shop!

Now, I’m curious to see how her birthday party went, and if she enjoyed the party and the cupcakes. Last year, she was groggy during her birthday party due to a nap, and from jet lag. She also did not like the vanilla cake I got her. But this year, she has chocolate as explicitly requested!

Update: Pookster loved the snacks, cupcakes, and the balloons. She asked to take one of the mini chocolate cupcakes home, and the teachers obliged by putting one into a cup for her to take out with me. But alas, as I was packing up all her goodie bag items into my canvas bag, she accidentally tipped the cup over, and the cupcake fell out upside down onto the floor of the school. And being the practical mother that I am, i took the top (thick!) layer of frosting off and handed it right back to her. A little gross? Yes. But someone had to address the immediate tantrum and fat tears that ensued!