“Thank your body for being able to move in this way”

Since college, I have lost count of the number of fitness classes I have taken, ranging from pilates, barre, zumba, yoga, trampoline — it’s been a lot. After I got a range of these foundations down, I was comfortable doing workouts via apps, whether they were just audio and now video. The encouragement throughout the videos always helps, especially when they know, based on their teaching, when potential “breaking” points are and to “hold it, HOLD IT!” But I always notice, especially during yoga and pilates courses, when the class is coming to an end, and the instructor usually expresses similar sentiments around calming down both the mind and the body from this exercise/practice, and giving thanks for this time, for this mere ability and privilege to move in this certain way.

The more I have thought about it, the more I really believe and know it’s true: It really is a gratitude, a privilege to stretch, twist, balance, and move our bodies in all these different ways. Not everyone is able to do this. Some people have to work towards different levels of flexibility and mobility. Some people have chronic pain. Others have joint or muscle issues. As I was finishing my pilates video class yesterday and especially twisting my torso in odd ways and getting the most intense (but quiet) workout in my core, I just thought to myself that it really is a blessing I am able to move myself like this. And the feeling I get at the end of these workouts is always the best: I always feel more energized, more lengthened and relaxed. I also really revel in the “good” soreness that I feel after these workouts. It’s definitely not pain. It’s a feeling of, “Ooooh. I want more of this!”

Perimenopause and planning

Several of my friends, who are all within five years of age of me, plus or minus, have been talking to me about perimenopause. One of my friends who is several years older is already considering doing hormone replacement therapy and proactively looking for “perimenopause symptoms,” which I learned can come on as early as age 38. Another friend, who is health obsessed and tracks every gram of fat, protein, and carbohydrate she consumes, is trying to optimize her current exercise regimen (which is so above what almost any average human does!) to ensure that she is strong and doesn’t lose too much muscle when menopause sets in. I must have done a search on perimenopause to read about it on my own in the last few weeks because now, I am constantly seeing ads for perimenopause supplements and products, all of which I have continued to block. There’s marketing and a product for literally everything and anything out there!

Because I recently went to see my primary care doctor and had my usual bloodwork done, I decided to take my lipid panel results and throw them into ChatGPT to see what it says regarding the results and what they say about my perimenopause trajectory:

Quick Summary

During perimenopause, declining estrogen tends to cause:

  • LDL increases
  • HDL may decrease slightly
  • Triglycerides may rise
  • Total cholesterol and non-HDL increase

But:

Women who start with an excellent lipid profile—like yours—generally experience smaller, slower, or less concerning changes.

Why Perimenopause Affects Cholesterol

Estrogen has powerful, protective metabolic effects:

  • Raises HDL
  • Lowers LDL
  • Improves insulin sensitivity
  • Helps regulate fat distribution
  • Reduces inflammation

As estrogen fluctuates (and eventually declines), these benefits weaken.

How Your Current Profile Might Change

Here’s how each number typically shifts during perimenopause and what this likely means specifically for you.

1. HDL (Currently 77) — “Good” cholesterol

Typical change:

  • Can decrease by 5–10 mg/dL over several years
  • Some women maintain high HDL even after menopause

For you:

  • Even with a 10-point drop, you would still be in the very healthy range (60s).
  • Your high baseline gives you a lot of buffer.

2. LDL (Currently 76) — “Bad” cholesterol

Typical change:

  • Often increases by 10–30 mg/dL
  • Driven by hormonal shifts, not lifestyle

For you:

  • Even if LDL rose by 20, you’d be at ~96 mg/dL—still great.
  • You would remain well below the average levels seen in women your age post-menopause.

3. Total Cholesterol (Currently 166)

Typical change:

  • Often increases by 15–25 mg/dL

For you:

  • You’d still likely remain below 190, which is well within normal.

4. Triglycerides (Currently 45)

Typical change:

  • Often rise by 20–40 mg/dL, depending on insulin response, sleep changes, and stress
  • More sensitive to lifestyle during perimenopause

For you:

  • Even with a significant rise (to ~80), you’d remain excellent.

5. Non-HDL Cholesterol (Currently 89)

Typical change:

  • Often increases by 15–25 mg/dL
  • This is a key predictor of cardiovascular risk post-menopause

For you:

  • You’d likely still remain under 110, which is better than average even for younger women.

The Real Change: Body Fat Distribution

Estrogen decline affects where fat is stored:

  • More visceral fat around the midsection
  • Higher blood sugar variability
  • Slight insulin resistance

This can gradually influence triglycerides and LDL more than diet itself.

But women who:

  • exercise regularly,
  • maintain good sleep,
  • manage stress,
  • eat balanced meals with healthy fats,
    often blunt or even prevent these shifts.

Why Your Starting Point Matters

Your numbers are not just “normal”—they’re exceptionally protective.

This means:

  • You have significant metabolic resilience going into perimenopause.
  • You’re less likely to experience high-risk lipid levels even as hormones shift.
  • Genetics + lifestyle appear to be working strongly in your favor.

What Helps Maintain Good Numbers During Perimenopause

Evidence-supported strategies include:

  1. Consistent aerobic activity (biggest impact on HDL and triglycerides).
  2. Strength training (reduces visceral fat and insulin resistance).
  3. High fiber intake (soluble fiber helps curb LDL rise).
  4. Healthy fats (olive oil, nuts, seeds, fatty fish).
  5. Stable sleep routines (sleep disruption increases LDL and triglycerides).
  6. Maintaining muscle mass (protects metabolic health).
  7. Limiting simple sugars and refined carbs (prevents triglyceride spikes).

Hormone therapy (HRT) also significantly blunts cholesterol changes for many women, but that’s a medical discussion for your clinician.

Based on the above, I suppose I feel comfortable about perimenopause, especially given I am turning 40 in less than two months. But the visceral fat point above is definitely frustrating. Hormones are definitely not in a woman’s favor as she passes her prime reproductive years, and it almost feels as though it’s nature’s way of saying, “hey, you! Your purpose in life is done, finito! Time to get a move on to your grave! Gain fat, especially around your abdomen because no one cares about you or wants to look at you anymore!”

The reactions you want when you send out a birthday dinner invitation

Food is something I’m passionate about. That’s a pretty huge understatement. I love food, and I love being around people who love food, and not just one type of food, but food from all corners of the globe, in all shapes and sizes, eaten with hands, forks, chopsticks, a shovel. And the more people like to try different foods and talk about food, the chances are higher that I will like you even more.

I sent out the Paperless Post invitation for my birthday party coming up in January, and within an hour, I got two responses via text from invited friends:

“Oh man. Are we getting lechon for your birthday??!!”

I love this response because a) this means that this friend not only saw the invite, but he also went to look up which restaurant this dinner was being held at (this is exactly what I would do). And b) it is obvious that he’s excited for PORK with CRISPY SKIN.

The second response I got was from a friend who I shared my Sunday plate date lunch experience with. This is what she wrote me with a laughing giphy at the end:

“Mmm, I can’t eat anywhere that serves pork. I had a little pig stuffed animal that was my best friend as a kid, and it would be wrong to eat them.”

If she were next to me and said this, I likely would have whacked her pretty hard.

She later followed up and said she’s super excited for Filipino food and is positive this place is going to be really good — simply because I chose it.

These are the reactions I love — from friends I have who love food.

First dermatologist visit and full body skin cancer screening

After almost forty years of existence, I finally decided to schedule a dermatology appointment for a full body skin cancer screening. For many years, I wrongly assumed that you needed a specialist referral from a primary care provider for a “skin problem” to see a dermatologist. Then about two years ago, my doctor told me that I should actually see a dermatologist every year for skin cancer screening, and that it’s covered by pretty much every insurance — no referral needed. After trying and failing to make appointments at several derm offices that were in very high demand, I decided to go the ZocDoc route and find someone who got decent reviews and was semi close by. And so the appointment happened today.

It was pretty straightforward. I came in, confirmed the reason for my appointment, and then an assistant noted anything of concern or any spots you may want to have extra special attention looked at. Then, I undressed completely except for my underwear and put a fun gown on. The doctor came in and greeted me, asked me a few questions, and then proceeded to go section by section of my body, looking for any potential scary spots. The good news is that she said my skin looked great — I didn’t have any spots of concern. She was pleased to hear that I wore a hat and wore sunscreen every day (even inside, really). She did note a few freckles and sun spots I developed, especially the ones I pointed out to her on my face. We talked about potentially using a prescription grade 20% azelaic acid cream to lighten them. She emphasized sunblock and reapplication, plus covering up/wearing hats when outside. And given I knew it could be possible that insurance would cover a prescription grade retinol (and I am almost 40!), I decided it wouldn’t hurt to ask and spin it as, “Can retinol help with fading sun spots?” She said that it would help pretty dramatically and asked if I’d be interested in Tretinoin, the prescription retinol. She divulged that it is typically covered by insurance if you state it’s for the treatment of acne. “You do get the occasional pimple, right?” she winked at me. “Everyone does!” And then she quickly wrote me prescriptions for both the Tretinoin and the azelaic acid cream. She also told me that I had to be patient and consistent; I’d likely see changes over the course of three to four months. I could do that.

Within the hour, I got a text notification that my health insurance approved the Tretinoin, no problem. The azelaic acid cream was denied, though. Wahhh. So I will see how much it costs out of pocket vs. other methods and go from there. This is pretty exciting, though, to get a heavily subsidized prescription grade retinol for the first time. I am wondering if it will live up to the hype I read about in mom groups that it “changes your life” and skin completely!

Unexpected customer news today

Some colleagues and I had a scheduled call this morning with a customer we hadn’t heard from in months. We had tried reaching out countless times to get a meeting on the calendar with them since April, to no avail. Finally, they agreed to this meeting today, so we spent a lot of time thinking about what we’d add to the agenda. Then, when our executive contact came on, she slowly spoke and revealed that they’d unlikely be renewing our contract when we reached the end date in the spring because they had not seen much a return on any of their e-learning providers and needed to rethink their strategy for internal upskilling. And in the same breath, she revealed that she had stage 4 cancer and would not be around for much longer. She would try to make all our scheduled meetings and respond to our messages, but if she did not, she reassured us that she was not ignoring us; she was simply prioritizing her health, or… she just wasn’t around anymore. She also said she’d try to remember putting up an out-of-office auto reply.

I wasn’t even sure what to say. All of us froze on the call, and the customer kept talking business. So that’s the direction the call went. But it just such sad, unexpected news. I didn’t even know she had any health problems. Plus, for her to talk about not renewing the contract and having stage 4 cancer in almost the same sentence was just completely baffling to me. Plus, the fact that she was reassuring us that she wasn’t ignoring us in the midst of everything she’s going through personally… I was just rendered speechless.

Life is short. None of us knows what is going to happen next. Death is just waiting to take all of us away.

Older, not necessarily wiser: I gave myself an ice burn

I had to ice my elbows last night while reading to sooth the irritation in my elbows, particularly on the left side. While reading, I completely forgot the usual icing advice, which is to only ice for about ten minutes at a time. I got carried away and just kept reading. I probably left the ice pack on my left elbow for over 25 minutes before I took it off. The surface of the inside of my elbow felt irritated, but I didn’t think much about it since the area was already feeling uncomfortable. I woke up, exercised, and showered, to then realize that my entire inside elbow area was not only purple, but I had even developed a small puffy blister where the ice pack rested!

AHHHHHHHH. I was so annoyed. This was not from cubital tunnel syndrome. This blister and purple “bruise” is from excessive exposure to my ice pack. I started cursing myself in my head, thinking about how dumb I was to let this happen.

I am turning 40 in just under four months. I am definitely getting older, but sometimes in moments like this, I certainly do not feel wiser.

Cubital tunnel acts up once again

I’ve had mild carpal tunnel and cubital tunnel syndrome for about five years now. Since September-October 2020, when almost nightly, I would have to ice my elbows, I’ve come a long way. I know all the right therapy, stretching, and strengthening exercises to keep the symptoms under control and prevent future burning and flare ups. I splint my wrists every night before sleep (very sexy), and whenever I feel elbow irritation, I even splint the annoyed elbow. I know the proper ergonomic computer setup for myself and try hard not to text too much (this really aggravates my elbows and sadly, is probably the number 1 reason for my cubital tunnel). But in the last week, first my right elbow has started bothering me. So I splinted it almost every night at bedtime. Then today, my left elbow started acting up. I wonder if it has to do with all my single arm planks I’ve been doing in the last week during my barre exercises. It’s likely this.

So I iced my elbows tonight while I read on my Kindle at a very specific angle so that my elbows wouldn’t be bent too much. Icing my elbows makes me feel like an invalid, but alas, this has to be done. This is part of pain and health management for me, and well, that also means it’s part of aging.

The clothes I forgot about post-childbirth and a reawakening

When we moved to our current two-bed, two-bathroom unit from our one-bed, one-bath unit downstairs when I was pregnant, Chris got a bunch of large, deep plastic bins to make our move a bit easier. Since we moved, I have (very inefficiently and messily…) used these to store some of my clothes and Kaia’s bedding/miscellaneous cloth items. In one of the bins is a lot of my warmer weather clothing, including about four above-knee skirts that I would wear relatively frequently pre 2021. Once I had a child, though, I kind of forgot about the existence of these skirts, far preferring single-piece dresses, longer skirts for more coverage, and looser shorts. These were all more comfortable, and after you have a child, comfort is obviously key. I took a look at the bin this morning and thought, hmmmm. I am turning 40 in just a few months. I cannot not wear all these nice skirts that still fit me (plus, while I do not remember what they cost, I’m sure none of them were that cheap!). I still have to look at least decent in them, right? I exercise six days a week; I still have legs, don’t I?!

So I tried one of them on this morning to see if it still fit. Yes, it still did, and it still looked good on me. I decided in that moment that I could not give up on these skirts (or really, my body, for that matter) and give them away. I had to maximize the ROI of these skirts by wearing them as much as possible before I actually become old and wrinkly. And so, I wore one of them today proudly. Granted, I did not immensely enjoy running around a playground with this bright orange mini skirt on, or going down multiple slides wearing this skirt, but I figured that was a small price to pay for getting more wear out of clothes I have already invested money in.

I might be turning officially middle aged in January, but I still have a decent body. And I suppose I should still flaunt it while I still have it — that is what confidence looks like!

Perks of being “young”: cheaper access to theater and the arts, including the Met Opera

In the many years pre-Kaia, Chris and I took advantage of a lot of inexpensive ticket offers at theaters across New York City. So many extremely affordable to downright cheap offers exist for those who are under the age cutoffs of 40, 35, and 30. First, Chris took advantage of them. Then, when he aged out of the cutoffs, he had me go buy the tickets for us. We’d get highly sought after seats at popular shows for next to nothing. During all that time, though, somehow I had forgotten about how I wanted to take advantage of the Under 40 Met offer, which is deeply discounted tickets for those under 40 (limit of two tickets) to see opera performances at the very famous Met Opera. When we think of the opera, we typically think of very old White people attending in their fanciest clothing. But as those people are eventually dying out, the arts scene needs younger people to fill those seats in (and pay those exorbitant ticket prices). To this day, I have still never seen any opera. So I wanted to do this just once to see how I might enjoy it.

A friend of mine who is over 40 told me she always meant to take advantage of the Under 40 tickets, but she had forgotten and alas, aged out. So she suggested I take advantage of it. I told her that I could actually get the tickets for both of us — we just had to agree on the show and a date, and I could even walk over to the box office to avoid the extra convenience surcharges. So we agreed to get tickets to Madama Butterfly in early January. I went to the box office this afternoon and asked for the Under 40 ticket pricing. And surprisingly, the agent gave me the paper tickets right away. I got confused since the policy online said they’d check my ID at Will-Call to ensure I was actually under 40. So I asked her about this.

“Oh, no. We don’t do that,” the agent said, laughing. “We actually are supposed to check your ID for your age when you purchase the tickets at the box office. But I took one look at you and thought, there’s no way this woman is over 40, so I believe you’re being honest!”

I laughed, thanked her, and went on my merry way. I’m finally taking advantage of the Under 40 Met tickets… for a show that is less than ten days before I actually turn 40. I told my friend about this encounter, and she told me that I could likely pull off being “under 40” for these discounted Met tickets for years and years to come!

Body weight, fat, muscle, and overall health tracking

Ever since I weaned off breastfeeding over 2.5 years ago now, I still cannot get rid of this excess lower belly fat. It’s annoying, and though no one else really notices it, I always notice and feel it when I put on clothes and when I look at myself in the mirror. I’ve never thought of myself as a vain person, but I really, really dislike this. It doesn’t seem to matter how much I exercise or what ab exercises I do (YES, I am aware spot training doesn’t work), but it won’t go away. I was telling a friend of mine about this who has had two kids, and she feels the same and says she has the same issue. She also said she wonders that given we both exercise a lot and eat decently, that maybe it could just be excess skin?

Haha, there’s zero chance that is the case. If only it was excess skin and not real FAT.

I was chatting with my other friend about this, who has taken pretty much every health test written about that’s not covered by American health insurance, things like the DEXA scan, VO2 Max test, amongst other heart/oxygen/blood sugar related tests. She was urging me to get a DEXA scan to see what my muscle/fat ratio was, as that could help me pinpoint what I needed to change about my diet and/or exercise regimen. Although the DEXA scan does intrigue me, the idea of drastically changing my diet did not sit well with me. I eat mostly whole foods 99 percent of the time. I am intentional about eating lots of fruit, vegetables, and varying up my protein sources; I try to make some type of plant-based protein (beans!) every week. I almost never eat ultra highly processed, packaged foods. I barely even drink alcohol anymore (excess sugar/carbs that I don’t absolutely love). I told all this to my friend. But she chuckled and said, “Yeah, but it’s hard for a foodie to make big changes to their diet. I mean, CARBS. We love our carbs.”

We were just wandering and eating through Arthur Avenue in the Bronx today. I picked up two pounds of fresh pasta noodles, a box of pumpkin-porcini ravioli (frozen for future), a bag of dried Malfalda pasta imported from Italy. I got a pound of fresh buccacini mozzarella from my beloved Casa Del Mozzarella. We also got two loaves of bread from our favorite Italian bakery up there, Madonia Bakery, plus two pounds of Italian sausage from our favorite meat shop, Calabria Pork Store (with its famous sausage chandelier all along its ceiling!). And I thought about all these carbs (evil foods!) I brought back and grumbled; I can’t not have these delicious things in my life! You can’t take them away from me! You cannot!

My friend reminded me that we’re nearing 40… me sooner than her by two years. “Things have to change, even if just a little.”