Cherimoya / custard apple = one of my favorite fruits on earth, plus the best fish stew at Surquillo No. 1 Market

I was a teen when I had my first taste of a cherimoya. I was with my parents at a Vietnamese market in San Jose, and my mom found a good deal on some cherimoyas and got a couple. Cherimoyas are usually ridiculously expensive when you are able to find them ($15-25/lb, anyone?); they are really only at ethnic grocery stores during very specific seasons of the year. My mom cut it open for us and instructed us to remove the outer green skin and to eat the white flesh, spitting out the large black seeds inside. I wasn’t sure what exactly I was eating, but I knew I was in heaven at the very first bite. Cherimoya is commonly referred to as a custard apple in English, and the name is very apt, as the texture, when ripe, truly is like a rich, fruity, almost velvety custard. The taste is hard to describe, but it’s a very tropical flavor. It’s very similar to a mix of very sweet pineapple, papaya, kiwi, and strawberry. That’s a lot of different fruit to compare it to, but that’s because the flavor is extremely sweet and very complex!

So I got my ~$2 USD cherimoya that was about 3 pounds yesterday. We ate it this morning at breakfast, and Chris got so overwhelmed by how much fruit there was and felt so full after we ate it; I have no idea what he was referring to, though. I could have eaten the cherimoya all day long and been totally fine! Today, we went to Surquillo No. 1 and 2 Market, where en route, I picked up another large cherimoya for a tiny bit more money, plus a local Edward mango, a fresh lucuma, and some maracuya/passion fruit. I’ll be the fresh fruit lady at our hotel breakfast tomorrow morning, but I have no shame and instead, will proudly carry my market-purchased, freshly washed fruit onto the breakfast floor!

While I shopped for fruit, Chris took a look at the prepared food stalls and what the locals were eating. We were likely the only tourists in the market that morning and got a lot of friendly smiles. He got us a bowl of chupe de pescado for just a couple bucks after watching all these other people come and go, happily slurping their soups from this one teeny tiny little stall. “Chupe de pescado” literally means “fish stew.” It was quite a wonder to watch the little woman behind the counter prepare it, as the stock pots seemed to almost tower over her! She had a huge stock pot with just fish stock, and another large pot with all the actual fish meat, eggs, and other seasonings. For each bowl, she strained the stock of the fish bones, then added all the accompaniments to the chupe.

I am not sure what kind of fish was in that stew. I don’t know what else was in that thick soup other than shredded and cut up fish, eggs, and some herbs. But I do know that that was likely one of the very best and richest fish soups I’ve ever had the privilege of eating. The deep yellow soup looked like it was just full of fish collagen! The stalls that only sell one or two things are always my favorite places to eat at markets when we travel. If they can make a living just serving one or two things, those one or two things must be darn good. And this was!

Lima, people who “avoid” cities, cherimoya, and lucuma fruit

We’re spending the first few days of our South America trip in Lima. As we wandered through the city and explored the main square, Chinatown (Peru has a large Chinese population that has given birth to “chifa” or Peruvian Chinese food), and Pueblo Libre, I thought about all the people I’ve met over the years, mostly colleagues, customers, and friends of friends, who have explicitly stated that they “avoid cities” when traveling. Some of them have even said they “avoid cities like the plague” and “cannot stand them” when on vacation. All of them live in suburbs or rural areas; none live in major cities. I wonder, though, when this actually became acceptable to say? To me, when I hear someone say something like this, what I actually hear them saying is, “I avoid places where there is culture and diversity. I dislike places where I can discover new things and challenge assumptions I had about the world.” Because if you actually said those last two sentences in any setting, whether it’s at work, amongst friends/family, or even to total strangers on the street, you’d appear to be an ignorant asshole who is scared of anything you are unfamiliar with. But I generally think: meh. It’s their loss that they don’t even realize is a loss, not mine, and not my problem or my bone to pick.

I’ll be honest: Lima, Peru, is not on my list of “beautiful cities.” It has fancy and wealthy neighborhoods, working class neighborhoods, areas with lots of grittiness and grime. The traffic here is absolutely horrendous with cars running red lights here and there and endless close calls with cars almost hitting pedestrians. Lane lines? What for? Just drive where you want! And from everything I’ve read, the public transit system is an inefficient nightmare. But Lima is brimming with culture, with lots of different (and indigenous) languages spoken, historic squares and streets. I was excited when I found out it was cherimoya season in Peru, and I snagged a massive, nearly 3-lb cherimoya for just over $2 USD from a friendly street vendor, whose cart was almost overflowing with heaps of fat green custard apples. He gave us samples and even gave Kaia extra samples when he saw she enjoyed the fruit. At Antigua Taberna Queirolo, one of the oldest bars and restaurants in Lima, having been around since 1880, we got to try our first pisco sours of our Peru trip (classic and maracuya/passion fruit, both excellent), plus a half/half mix of arroz con leche (rice pudding) and mazzamora morada (Peruvian purple corn pudding flavored with warm spices, pineapple, and apple). And in the evening in Pueblo Libre, we stumbled upon a little family-owned cafe/bakery where they made chocolate lucuma cake and introduced us to lucuma blended into a smoothie with milk. Lucuma is a new fruit for us. It’s native to the Andean valleys, specifically around Peru, Ecuador, Chile, and Bolivia, and is known as the “gold of the Incas.” Lucuma is round and green on the outside, and deep orange/golden yellow on the inside with an interesting starchy flesh almost like a sweet potato. The flavor is very interesting: it’s almost like a cross between a papaya, fig, and sweet potato. It goes perfectly blended with milk, and it’s a very popular fruit drink combination in Peru.

When traveling, I love visiting other cities. I love being able to see the countryside and rural areas. I love the mountains and the ocean. I love it all. But what I love most is discovering new things and new flavors (why would I travel to see the same stuff I see every day where I live?!). Lucuma wasn’t on my mental list of things to try here, but I really loved it, especially blended with milk. I will most definitely remember this fruit in the future and how unique it is.

Jorge Chavez International Airport (LIM) new terminal and its inefficiencies

Lima’s new Jorge Chávez International Airport (LIM) terminal officially opened on June 1, 2025, about four weeks before we arrived in Lima on the evening of the 28th. The new terminal is a significant upgrade, tripling the size of the old terminal and designed to handle 40 million passengers annually by 2030. While it was exciting to be in the terminal when it was so new, as Chris noted he doesn’t think we’ve ever been in an airport terminal this new, we were not quite expecting the little adventure that was to come when going through immigration and passport control.

When we landed, the first hiccup we encountered was when the jet bridge took over half an hour to actually roll out properly and allow us to get off the plane. We were all mostly sitting there, twiddling our fingers, wondering when we’d be allowed out of the plane and into Peru. Then when we arrived at passport control, a peculiar thing happened: all of the systems went down. Every computer screen we could see looked blank. No passenger who was at a passport control desk was leaving. None of the lines were moving. But they were all getting longer, and longer, and longer. Agents were tapping their keyboards over and over. Nothing was happening. While passport control and immigration areas typically have big signs everywhere saying “No mobile phone usage,” a few agents actually stood up on their tables or chairs to take videos or wide panorama shots of all the hoards and hoards of people like us, standing there waiting to clear immigration but with no clearing in sight. We waited for over an hour, and then finally, as though someone in charge actually realized how inefficient and embarrassing all this was (and how it would likely hold up other arriving planes and result in total pandemonium), we were handed little paper forms to manually fill out. Needless to say, this was a total cluster. It felt like a miracle when we finally got through. And while it was infuriating to wait, I chocked it all up to being part of the “travel experience,” a true “Welcome to Peru!” message. I smiled at the thought of it; we’re just running on Latin American time!

Shaxian Snacks – Fuzhou food

Manhattan Chinatown is known for two large groups of ethnic Chinese people: the Fujianese (specifically those from Fuzhou, a city with many surrounding villages in Fujian province, and the Cantonese (my Chinese people). So many Fujianese immigrants came in the 1980s and 1990s to New York and created little communities around East Broadway in Manhattan Chinatown, as well as in Sunset Park, Brooklyn. The area between Two Bridges in Manhattan Chinatown and Lower East Side is even considered “Little Fuzhou.”

Embarrassingly enough, even though I’ve been in New York City for over 17 years now, I haven’t really explored Little Fuzhou or Fuzhou cuisine very much. While I’ve eaten plenty of their dumplings and peanut/sesame noodles, I wasn’t sure what else to expect from their cuisine. But once Kaia started going to school in Manhattan Chinatown, I figured this was my opportunity to check out the Fuzhounese holes-in-the-wall in the ‘hood. One spot that stood out to me is called Shaxian Snacks on Grand.

Today, I ordered one of their lunch sets advertised on their menu. This consisted of a bowl of steaming hot, almost milky soup with a large handful of Shaxian bian rou, also known as Fuzhou style wontons. These are not the same at all in appearance, taste, or texture as the more famous Cantonese/Hong Kong style wontons. These are small, about bite or even half-bite-sized, and are really springy and bouncy in texture. The wonton skins are very slippery and almost translucent. I think there was just very bouncy pork inside. The soup was well flavored — it was most definitely made with pork bones and well seasoned, almost comforting in taste.

The second part of the lunch set was peanut sauce noodles, the Fuzhou way. These were also very slippery noodles, rice based, with a savory and slightly sweet sauce. The entire dish seemed so simple and humble but was really taken up a notch with the preserved, pickled minced vegetables that were sprinkled on top. Originally when I ordered it, I wondered if it would be too much food. But when I finished (all of it!), I realized that it was just enough and kept me feeling quite satisfied without feeling stuffed. And unbelievably, this was their special “combo meal” set, so it cost just $6.99, which is crazy and almost unbelievable given how much food I got, the high quality and really friendly service, plus the fact that we’re living in a high inflation period where most places are giving you less for more money!

Sichuan style cabbage, elevated with premium ingredients

Ever since I splurged on a number of premium Sichuanese Chinese ingredients on Mala Market, I’ve never looked back. Every single ingredient I’ve purchased that I’ve either tested or used in cooking has been really exceptional and quite worth the relatively higher price I paid for the items. This week, I’ve been busy clearing out the fridge in preparation for our two weeks away in South America. I picked up a small head of Napa cabbage and used half of it for my lion’s head meatball braise, but I still had another half head to use up. So, I decided to prepare the cabbage Sichuanese stir-fry style with lots of garlic, Baoning Sichuanese black vinegar, Zhongba soy sauce, and toasted Mala Market Sichuan red peppercorns. And I’ll be honest: while the Chinese historically have loved cabbage and consider it one of the best vegetables on earth, I…. think it’s just fine. It’s a good vegetable, but it’s not in my top five or even ten. Whenever I have the choice of pork and chive vs. pork and cabbage dumplings, 10 times out of 10, I will always choose pork and chive. But when the cabbage is prepared like this with these premium ingredients, this vegetable almost becomes good enough to be a standalone dish on its own. After I tasted a few bites of it after cooking it, I could totally imagine myself eating just this cabbage stir-fry with some rice. It was that good. Chris, who is not usually a cabbage fan and eats it begrudgingly at the beginning of his meal to get to the “better” foods, even admitted it was “very good.”

In-store shopping experience for clothing/shoes: a rarity now

Since Independence Day in the U.S. is quickly approaching, a lot of businesses are having early Fourth of July / summer sales. One of these companies, which I like and follow, is Allbirds. I actually have never bought anything from Allbirds before, but I do own a pair of their wool lace-up shoes that I was gifted from my company just over three years ago once we hit a business milestone. And, well, I love these shoes. They are so comfortable and cushy, even three years later. They are warm when it’s cold outside and just right heat-wise when it is warm outside. The soles can easily be removed, and they are machine washable, which gets me really excited (and wow, that makes me sound old/like a mom). This means that I don’t have to fret when they get covered in mud or anything nasty; I can simply remove the laces and soles and chuck them into the washing machine, then airy dry them, and they’re good as new! Though I will admit that three-plus years later, the traction isn’t as good as they were when they were actually brand new, but alas, that’s just wear and tear since no shoes could possibly last and be perfect forever. I have lost count of the number of times I’ve taken them on trips, and as soon as we get home, I happily throw them into our washing machine along with our other dirty laundry from travel.

So, Allbirds was having this 40 percent off sale, and I really wanted to replace a ragged pair of slip-on shoes I bought 5.5 years ago in Indonesia with Allbirds’ Tree Lounger shoes. I was pretty set on doing what I normally do these days when I buy any clothing or shoes: I was going to buy them online, assuming I could hit the free shipping threshold. But then I got concerned about the sizing. The last lace-ups I got were sized up to 7 when for sneakers, I am usually a 6.5, and they recommend sizing up since they don’t do half sizes. Would I be a 6 or a 7 for the Tree Loungers, which only come in whole sizes, as well? I would guess I’d be a 6, but I didn’t want to deal with a return if I was wrong. So I figured the easiest way to solve this would be to pop into their SoHo store, which is just a ten minute walk from Kaia’s school, to try them on. The fact that I was even thinking about this and mapping the store was a bit funny to me… because it made me realize how little time I spend shopping in brick-and-mortar stores for apparel and how much I just shop online, click to buy, and then wait for my deliveries to come to me (and inevitably, deal with potential returns later). I cannot remember the last time I had a real “shopping” outing to buy apparel!

I got to the shop later this afternoon. The store only had two other shoppers, and the employees were all very friendly and helpful. I was telling the salesperson helping me about my size dilemma, so she eagerly brought out a size 6 and 7 for the Tree Loungers and also some no-show socks for me to try on. My hunch was correct: I was definitely a 6. They fit like a glove! So I picked these up plus a pair of no-show socks (also on sale!), nixed the box because I didn’t want the bulk, and went on my merry way. Most places are digitized now, so I just asked for a digital receipt to my email. The salesperson told me in the event I needed to do a return, I didn’t have to worry about not needing the box (save some trees), so we were all set.

Even as I am typing this now, I still think it’s funny that this in-store shoe shopping experience felt so novel to me since I do it so rarely. And then I realize that Kaia herself has no idea what it’s like to go from store to store, trying on different pieces of clothing and footwear to see how they fit and if they will look good on her. Almost all the clothes I’ve ever gotten her have been purchased online, with thee exception of gifted items we’ve had to return and then had to use store credit to buy replacements. I have a feeling that in the coming years as she gets older, she will have even more opinions about what she wears and doesn’t and will start demanding to choose her own clothing… which may necessitate more in-store shopping experiences for all of us whether we like it or not.

True passion in local desserts in Ditmars / Astoria

I half joke with a food-obsessed friend that if it weren’t for Kaia’s existence, most of my time outside of work would be spent thinking about what to eat, where to eat, and what I want to cook to eat next. This is not necessarily a total exaggeration: if you take a look at my Google Maps bookmarks lists, you can see that as of today, I have 672 bookmarked places I have either eaten at and enjoyed or would like to eat at (and have not been to) just in New York City across all five boroughs; some of that list is sprinkled with random independent bookstores, boutique shops, and houseware stores, but the vast majority is food. It seems like almost every day, I am adding yet another place I want to try to my list, whether it’s being recommended from someone on Instagram, Eater, The Infatuation, The New York Times, or a friend. Chris and I have a shared Melbourne, Australia, list of 299+ places. I also have created Google Maps lists for places we have visited (like Rhode Island or Guatemala) and will visit (Lima and Cusco, Peru). Each of those lists has at least 40 places bookmarked. No, we’re not planning to eat at 40-plus places in the several days we’ll be in each place. But hey, it’s good to have options depending on where exactly you are and what you are in the mood to eat.

Pastries by Anne is a dessert spot in Ditmars that I’ve had on my list for a while. It is owned by a Thai female chef who was educated at the Institute of Culinary Education and externed at Daniel. The main draw for me to come here was the Asian-flavored caneles. Anne has standard caneles available every day of the week, but on weekends, she chooses one special Asian-inspired flavor and adds it to her line-up of sweets. On the weekend we came, she had Assam (tea), and of course, I got one of these plus a standard one. She was actually at the counter, so we made some small talk. I asked if she had any other recommendations, and she steered me toward the pandan tiramisu, so I added that to my goodies and went on my merry way.

The Assam and regular caneles were insanely delicious, even when we had them about two days later. The texture and flavor were incredible; they were likely the best caneles I’ve had in New York City. the insides were custardy, almost spongy, caramel-like. The Assam tea flavor really sang! The only other caneles I’ve had that truly blew my mind were the ones we had in Bordeaux, France, the birthplace of the delicious canele, back in 2015, so it’s been a while since I really, truly was obsessed with a canele.

Unfortunately, I think I left the pandan tiramisu for too long. By the time I ate it later in the week, the mascarpone had already soured. This masked the pandan flavor completely, which was lost in the sourness. I was already messaging with Anne about how much I loved the caneles. She remembered me and checked in to see how I liked the pandan tiramisu. I was honest with her and told her it tasted sour, so I think something went wrong; maybe we didn’t keep it at the right temperature or eat it in time? Anne clearly felt bad; she apologized and said that anytime I could come out to Ditmars again, she’d remember me and give me a new cake. It was such a kind, generous offer. But given Ditmars is not too close to me, I couldn’t commit to when that next time would be.

The next thing I know, this morning, she posts on her Instagram that her storefront is CLOSING DOWN. She will be working as a consultant for premium airline catering, and so her kitchen will be open only for special orders, random drops, and pop-ups from the end of June onward. On the one hand, I was really happy for her as a small business to have a stable income stream and have her delicious flavors reach a broader audience. But on the other hand, I felt sad that I couldn’t just drop in whenever I wanted (selfish, I know. But when a girl needs her canele…). I messaged her to wish her well, and she said that her offer still stands: whenever I come out to Ditmars next, I can have the pandan tiramisu or any cake she offers on the house, and she’d definitely remember me and welcome me back. She said she was blessed to meet me and hoped we could keep in touch.

I was really floored. First, I already felt it was beyond generous for Anne to offer me a replacement cake, even if the error was on my side in not storing it properly or waiting too long to eat it. But then, she said I could have any cake, that she’d definitely remember me, and welcome me back anytime. She’s clearly a very talented and extremely humble and sweet person. She’s the small business owner you wish you could always, always support in any and all ways possible to ensure her success. How can you find fault in someone who is creative, talented, humble, and at the end of the day, just really wants you as her customer to love and savor what she is creating from the heart?

Showering at night vs. day vs. TWICE a day

Before I started morning workouts, I always showered at night. This logically makes sense: you go out all day and get dirty from being out and about. And then you clean yourself before getting into bed. That keeps your bed cleaner and means you go to sleep clean. Yes, you sweat at night, but that’s a different type of “dirt.” Showering at night means that you wash away all the external dirt off you.

Then, my showering schedule completely had to change once I started working out in the morning. It’s crazy to think about it now, but I started this in early 2013, so that’s over 12 years of morning workouts for me! There was no way I was going without a shower after sweating buckets during an AM workout. I don’t think my colleagues would have appreciated that, nor would I have wanted to go around cloaked in my own sweat all day at work. So I’d shower after my morning workout and head off to the office. And at night, because I absolutely hate the idea of showering twice in a day (that’s a real first-world luxury I just could not bring myself to do unless it were totally, totally necessary), I would just forgo a shower and sleep… with all of the outside world I was exposed to dirtying my bedsheets. I didn’t love this idea, but again, I wasn’t going to shower twice a day. So if I wore sandals and had my bare feet exposed, I would always wash my feet (I suppose this is a very “Asian” practice) after coming home to prevent outside dirt on my feet from dirtying my floors or bed.

So today, it was extremely hot in New York. I was at the co-working space working today and did both drop-off and pickup for Kaia. As soon as I got back home, I knew I had to have a (second) shower. I was dripping in sweat and sticky all over. I hopped into the shower, quickly washed myself, put on my PJs, and we all had dinner together. I always feel a bit precious and uppity when I do a second shower in a day, but with heat like we’re having in New York this week (it’s going to hit 100 F!), this would be unavoidable unless I want to skip my morning workout (not happening).

I like warm weather. But i am not a fan of sweltering, 90s+ F heat and humidity. This two-showers-a-day-thing hopefully is just temporary.

Kao fu (seitan) and shi zi tou (Lion’s Head meatballs)

I look back on my childhood dining-out experiences, and almost all the meals out with family were Cantonese Chinese family-style meals. We always went to a no-frills Cantonese spot in the neighborhood that my grandma or aunt liked, and given we were with my grandma, aunt, uncle, and three sons, we always had a large table with a big lazy Susan in the middle. The few times when we were taking out someone “special” (some random relative or family friend who “had money”) as a guest of honor, my aunt or uncle would choose a fancier Chinese place that was a bit more upscale. At these rare fancy meals, the dinner would always start with an assortment of small plates, cold dishes that consisted of a variety of flavors, textures, and heat levels. The one that consistently showed up that I remember with fondness was hong shao kao fu (braised Shanghainese style seitan). I never knew what the heck it was. All I knew was that it was sweet, salty, umami, and had a variety of fun textures. I remember the meaty shiitake mushrooms, the crunchy cloud ear mushrooms, and some strange, squishy, meaty sponge-like thing that was almost like tofu, but not quite. As an adult, I later learned that this was called “seitan,” also known as wheat gluten, and was a popular meat substitute and source of protein for vegetarians/Buddhists. I also liked the slight crunch from the peanuts that were braised in the same liquid/sauce.

I finally made this seitan dish for the first time last year and was surprised how straightforward and easy it was. From my memory, it’s likely the very first Shanghainese dish I was ever exposed to. The second Shanghainese dish I had that I liked, which I wasn’t exposed to until I was in college with my Chinese teacher and our classmates, was shi zi tou, or Lion’s Head Meatballs. These are not made with lion meat (um, endangered and exotic), but rather with fatty pork, lean pork, and water chestnuts for crunchy texture. I made both of these dishes today for a mini ode to my Shanghainese Chinese teacher for my first two years of college. She not only taught me Mandarin Chinese language and more Chinese culture, but she was also responsible for giving me exposure to Shanghainese/Jiangnan style Chinese food, which was severely lacking in San Francisco (and even if it was plentiful, it would have been highly unlikely my very biased Cantonese family would have wanted to patronize those places).

You could spend your entire life learning about and making different Chinese dishes and likely never stop your learning. I’m happy to keep making “new” dishes for our home to ensure that Kaia is exposed to an endless variety of foods.

Our most valuable commodity: time

Ever since I got pregnant with Kaia, I’ve thought a lot about a lot of my privileges as a mother, but especially in regard to time. Since I work remotely and have a flexible job, on average, I have far more time than the everyday parent of a young child to really engage with and spend time with my child. I notice her little changes every single day, what new words or phases she is speaking (and in what language), the movements she is progressively learning with how much more agile she becomes and grows into her body. In real time, I marvel over her development and growth. I admire how she’s able to see the world through such a sweet, innocent lens. As a toddler, Kaia can see the sheer, pure beauty in things and the simple magic in everyday life. I think a lot about what I love about motherhood/parenthood the most, and while this is quite a large category, I truly believe that what I enjoy the most is watching her discover new things and react to them with such a young, sweet joy.

I love it when she sees the trains coming in and out of the subway stations, and when they come and go, she waves hello and goodbye to them, sometimes yelling, “Hi!” and “Bye Bye!” loudly, eliciting smiles and compliments from nearby strangers. Sometimes when I am holding her hand and she wants to wave to the incoming/outgoing train, she yells at me and says, “Mama! Stop holding my hand! I have to wave bye bye to the train!”

I love when she relishes and gets excited about a new piece of clothing, usually a dress or skirt or swimsuit. I can feel myself smile hard when she discovers that she can twirl in a long-skirted dress or when there is a food or animal she likes on her swimsuit, like ice cream or popsicle or bird or tiger. I admire her admiring herself while twirling over and over and watching herself in the mirror.

And sometimes, even when it’s frustrating, I even like her cheeky stubbornness when it comes out because it’s so adorable (well, it is for now…). As of late, when we insist she has to do something she doesn’t really want to do, she will express exasperation and say, “Okay, fine!” – with major emphasis on the “fine!”

It’s even cute when she insists she gets the last “big” bite of something delicious, whether it’s an ice cream cup we’re sharing or a luxurious cherry rhubarb muffin (as we recently enjoyed from ACQ Bakery in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn). Kaia will exclaim in protest, “But I want the last big bite! You have to share! SHARING IS CARING!”

I think about when my mom was a young parent of one… and then two. I think about how she was always so pressed for time and had pretty much zero time to herself to rest and recharge. She didn’t have much quality time one-on-one with either of her kids. She had a rigid full-time job with zero mobility. She had a husband who was stuck on outdated gender roles. My mom was constantly multi-tasking and always worrying about what was coming next. And I feel sad sometimes when I think she probably wasn’t able to really enjoy and soak in these little moments. Like many mothers of her generation, she had to do almost all the housework and child-rearing… on top of a full-time job. When was she really able to stop and truly observe her children growing up in front of her very eyes? And then out of nowhere, both her kids grew up and became adults. Our childhoods wrapped up and came to an end. One of them died tragically. The other moved all the way across the country and sees her only about once a year now.

Being present in your kid’s life is a huge thing regardless of whether they are three days old, three years old, thirteen years old, or thirty years old. Every person on earth wants to feel loved, appreciated, listened to and understood, and like they matter. Everyone wants to be seen. While I feel sad that my mom wasn’t able to be fully present in Ed’s or my life, I feel very grateful and privileged that I have the ability to be truly present in Kaia’s life and enjoy watching her grow, moment by moment. I have a lot of luxuries in my life, but this is really one of the biggest luxuries I am privileged to enjoy.