Catchup at Paper Sons Cafe

Since Kaia is going to school in Manhattan Chinatown, it means I have more reasons to be down there and explore new cafes, bakeries, and restaurants. And since I have a work perk that enables me access to coworking spaces throughout the city four times a month, my goal is to work in the area about once a week to get some space from the apartment, and also explore the area. It’s also a good opportunity for me to catch up with friends who have flexible schedules and could meet for a coffee or lunch during the week.

Paper Sons Cafe opened last summer. I came here this afternoon for matcha lattes and a catchup with a friend. The name of the cafe immediately brought a smile to my face when I found out about them via the Welcome to Chinatown Instagram handle because it reminded me of all the stories of “paper sons” in my childhood. My uncles, aunts, and grandma would talk about how they needed someone to come to the U.S. from China, so they’d pretend that so-and-so was their “paper son” or “paper daughter,” and then they’d have the ability to come over. Back when I was a young child, I had no idea about the complexities of immigration, nor did I understand the need to fake one’s family lineage for the sake of immigration. But now as an adult, I do enjoy hearing these stories of sacrifices that families made for their other loved one’s families in hopes of giving the next generation a better life.

The sad thing, though, about a “better life” in the U.S. today, is that I am honestly not quite so sure it really is a better life anymore. The cost of living is rising like crazy, where even a household of two working professionals cannot seem to afford a home easily without their parents’ help. The quality of schools here is poor when you compare our achievements stats to other westernized countries. The sheer intelligence of our population is declining, as made evident when you hear how few people here can read beyond a sixth grade level. And that’s before you even mention the normalizing of gun violence and prioritizing gun ownership over the safety of children. I am not sure that the country the U.S. today is the same country my paternal grandparents would have been happy to immigrate to.

A replaced fridge and a cracked bamboo kitchen floor

Last week, we had an incident where the fridge just stopped working. Luckily, we were home and caught it in time, so none of our food went bad. We live in a luxury rental building, so they replaced the fridge with a spare within the same day. Unfortunately, these refrigerators are so heavy that when the handyman and the porter were moving it, they lost balance and a corner of the fridge slammed down pretty hard on our kitchen floor, resulting in a big hole in one of the bamboo floor boards. They told us they would replace it. Well… they definitely took their time on this. They said someone would come today, and alas, the handyman never showed up. The hole is in a really awkward area where we’d inevitably need to step while getting in and out of the kitchen.

The great thing about renting and not owning is that we aren’t responsible for sourcing or paying for help ourselves directly, nor are we responsible for the costs or replacements of things like the fridge or bamboo floor boards. The annoying thing about renting is that you are really operating at the whim of your landlord or building management, and when they drag their feet on things, you literally just have to wait.

Reading to escape the dregs of the work world

Pretty much everything about work has been annoying me. Sometimes, I am sitting there doing work, wondering why no one is responding to me when something has been declared “urgent.” I have some difficult customers who seem to think they are the perfect customers and that nothing should change (you’ve really gotta love the growth mindset there). I also have some colleagues that have been really making work unpleasant, from the suck-ups to the full-blown gaslighting assholes. So in general, once I can sign off for the day the last two weeks, I’ve been pretty happy. It’s in these moments of frustration that I am so, so grateful that I am 100 percent remote, that I don’t have to go to an office every day and see people I generally dislike.

In the evenings once Kaia has gone to bed, I’ve been escaping the current annoying work world to read a book. This week, I finally started my much awaited (and very long – over 700 pages!) book by Abraham Verghese called The Covenant of Water; the book was released last year, and I immediately knew I wanted to read it because Verghese’s first and only other book, Cutting for Stone, is likely one of my all time favorite books. There is something really satisfying about setting aside the annoying world around you, as in, one’s reality, and just living inside a really well read book with complex characters and interesting challenges. I read a lot as a child because frankly, it’s not like my parents gave me much else to do. But now as an adult, I read for fun, for education, and for another-world adventure. And I’m so happy that Kaia has still been embracing reading as she’s gotten older.

Fun coffee shops during work travel

What makes work travel so fun is not so much prepping for meetings and transiting through airports and being in Ubers; it’s actually getting to discover and do new things, including eating and drinking new things. When I used to do work travel frequently pre-pandemic, even when I used to visit cities that people would oftentimes say were boring or lackluster, I always managed to find some restaurant or cafe that I liked, and that would be my “me” time to relax and enjoy a fun, new coffee drink or a new local dish.

The place I stumbled upon on my last Boston trip that I knew I wanted to go back to this time around was Phin Coffee House. It happens to be just a few minutes walk away from my customer’s office, and it’s also got a Vietnamese spin to it. This comfortable, trendy cafe has different variations of Vietnamese coffee, a few matcha and hojicha latte options, as well as a decent selection of breakfast and lunch items. They also offer free Wi-Fi, and ample, spacious seating. Last time, I kept it simple and just got the Vietnamese iced coffee since it’s classic. This time, I decided to get their Boston cream latte, which is a creamy Vietnamese iced coffee with your choice of whipped milk. I chose oat, and when it was presented to me, it was almost like a totally whipped coffee drink! I loved it from the very first sip — it was strong, creamy, and not too sweet, but sweet enough. If I’d had more time, I would have wanted to get a second one — that was how good this was.

If I’m lucky, I’ll be back in the next couple months and hope to get this drink again, along with maybe a matcha or hojicha latte, too, and even a quick bite!

Boston: Hello, again. I’m ready to eat you!

It’s my second time to Boston in six months. I’m here again to meet the same customer I met back in September, and I also had dinner tonight with the same friend I met with back in September. It’s always a fun thing to come back to a familiar city where there are people you know and want to see again. And it’s also especially fun to try new foods here (and revisit both old and new favorites).

When I reached out to my friend to see what she wanted to have for dinner when we met, she told me that I had come at a good time because it’s actually Dine Out Boston the next two weeks. So she sent me the website and suggested I choose a place walking distance from my hotel, and she’d meet me there. I chose a trendy, upscale Mexican spot called Taco Azul, which had recently opened its second location in the historic Beacon Hill area. The menu was very simple: guacamole and queso, freshly fried blue corn tortilla chips, a selection of tacos with freshly made blue corn tortillas, and two dessert options. The drinks were incredible: I had a classic margarita while my friend had a watermelon sugar margarita, and both were extremely well made, with just the right amount of sweet, tart, and alcoholic zing. This margarita was likely the best margarita I’ve had in years. The tortillas for the tacos themselves were so fresh and so delicious; I could have easily eaten just the tortillas on their own and been happy. And the fillings we chose — beef birria, shrimp al pastor, and crispy fish — were well executed and delicious.

If you asked me back in my college years from 2004 to 2008, if I would suggest any Mexican restaurants in Boston, I would have scoffed at you and said that was a crazy idea. Now, Mexican cuisine is taking over New York and Boston, and there seems to be endless options from both the no-frills/cheap end of the spectrum, all the way to the high-end, “tasting menu”-esque restaurants.

Cooking with Kaia… while also feeding her

Kaia as a three-year-old exhibits a lot of personality traits of both Chris and me. She is very cheeky, stubborn, and opinionated. She loves food, and she especially loves all the attention, all the time, every time. When she was a 6+ month old baby, I loved all the moments I would introduce new solids to her. I got so excited every time I saw her mushing something in her hand, each time she put new foods in her mouth and reacted. It is likely (and very predictably) one of my all-time favorite experiences in early motherhood: introducing new foods to my child and watching her react and embrace most of the foods. Some people said that I might get sad that Kaia embraced baby-led weaning so readily because it meant that I would be able to directly feed her less, as in I wasn’t spoon-feeding her each bite. But I honestly didn’t mind it at all because I was so engrossed in watching her experience new foods for the first time, while also simultaneously taking endless photos and videos to document the entire experience so I could eventually relive it all (and share with very curious grandparents). Now, the funny thing is: now as a three-year-old, she actually wants to be fed all the time. She demands that Chris and I feed her food, so oftentimes to get her to finish her dinner, Chris will stand above her, feeding her each bite; I will also spoon or fork feed her, bite by bite, while sitting in front of her. I sit in front of her the same way I sat in front of her as a baby feeding herself. Except now, she’s technically no longer a baby, but I am actually feeding her a LOT!

I’ve also found that the tip to cook with your child to get young toddlers into food that they normally don’t like or care for really does work. Since becoming a wee toddler, Kaia hasn’t loved string beans much. She liked them as a baby, but once she got to about 1.5 years old, she decided she didn’t like them. I made a Vietnamese-style stir fry of king oyster mushrooms and string beans today while having her watch me cut up the mushrooms and stir fry the whole dish, and she watched eagerly and intensively as she asked to try the blazing hot food. Before the food was even out of the wok, I took single pieces of it by hand, blew them to cool them down, and handed them to her. And crunch, crunch, crunch! She ate more than an adult-sized serving of string beans along with her favorite mushrooms just like that. Every time she asked for a mushroom, I said she could have it as long as she also had at least another string bean. And so, she went for it!

I’m happy that she enjoys watching me cook because it not only means she’s more likely to embrace even more new foods, but it also means I can keep her occupied and entertained while simultaneously cooking for the whole family to eat. I hope she embraces cooking and that we can do it more as she develops more fine motor skills. I’ve envisioned us in the future baking lots of different treats, and also making dumplings and spring rolls together.

Tea preparation: the good vs. the bad

On Friday during lunch time, I took a break from my coworking space to head over to Matcha Cafe Maiko, a matcha spot close to Kaia’s school that I’ve been meaning to try. I ordered their cold matcha latte with cheese foam. It was carefully whisked with perfectly measured out matcha powder. It was sweetened to 50 percent as I requested. And when I had my first sip, I was obsessed. Was it expensive at $7.62 (that includes tax)? Yes. But I could see the entire process of the drink being made meticulously, and I knew the quality of the ingredients were high. So while it’s an indulgent treat to pay this much for tea, it’s an occasional indulgence I like to have because I think it’s worth it.

Let’s contrast that with Poppy’s Cafe on Henry Street in Brooklyn, where we did our Saturday food crawl this weekend. We popped in there after we had lunch, and Chris suggested we get a hojicha to go. He ordered it and asked for some whole milk in it. Then less than two minutes later, the guy at the cash register says, “Your tea is ready!”

That’s odd, I thought in my head as Chris took the tea. How could it already be done so quickly? Chris took one sip of it as we left the small cafe and told me it tasted weak. I sipped it and felt annoyed immediately. “This wasn’t steeped properly!” I said to him. I took a peek inside the cup under the lid to see that it was a hojicha tea bag that was just steeped in water. They probably dripped in a little whole milk before the bag had the time to steep properly and didn’t really care; they just wanted us to get our drink and get out.

Tea from a good tea bag can still be good if it’s steeped properly and for the adequate amount of time. I almost exclusively only drink loose leaf tea now. The only exceptions to that are when I’m not at home, or if I’m having Dilmah tea bags or powdered tea (matcha or hojicha). But here, they clearly did not care and just added water to a to-go cup, dropped the tea bag in, added some hot water, clamped on the lid, and handed it over. I wasn’t necessarily expecting a hojicha latte made with hojicha powder (which wasn’t an option, and wasn’t what Chris ordered, anyway), but this was just a disrespect to tea and tea preparation in general. Tea is oftentimes misunderstood and thus not prepared properly by a lot of people, but in this case, you’d expect more from a semi trendy cafe on Henry Street in Brooklyn. Just for this, I’d be highly unlikely to patronize this spot ever again.

Brown nosers: the absolute worst in the corporate world

This work week has been particularly vexing and not even remotely fun. It’s never exciting to be in a situation where a customer is annoyed and is asking for a refund. So it’s even more un-exciting to have to rope in executive leadership from both your side and the customer’s side to have a “tete a tete” to talk through this and get this resolved. What does this actually entail? It entails lots of internal meetings where people who like to think they are more important than the other talk over the other, people who think they know more than the other talks over others, and even more frustration ensues. It also requires people who actually are in the weeds and truly do know what is happening (alas, that person is me!) to do the grunt work and fill out documents that explain everything, bit by bit. And then it also requires people constantly messaging me to ask if I have thought about x, y, and z thing to add to said document. As you can see, this is super riveting!

I will say, though, that of all the things that I hate in the working world, few things are worse to me (other than outright toxic people who gossip and spread fake rumors) than brown nosers. I hate people who treat executives and their managers like they are God, like their time is so holy and that they need to be thanked over and over for… doing their job. Yesterday, I was on an internal prep call for this customer call today, and a brown noser on my team said to our exec who joined, “Thank you SO, so much for making time to meet with us today. I know your time is truly precious, and we don’t have much of it. So, we will jump right in!”

I thought all of our time was precious? Or is this person’s time just precious because he happens to be in a VP+ position, and he’s your manager’s manager, and therefore you feel the need to kiss ass to him to be “seen” by this person? This is not the first example of brown nosing I’ve seen from this individual, but I really had to deliberately stare hard into the screen to not roll my eyes or just vomit all over my keyboard when she said this.

As I always play back in my head, in the rat race, even if you win, you are still a rat in the end. It stinks to have to be in an environment where people feel like they need to suck up to get ahead, but apparently it works with a lot of people who like to have their egos stroked. And it’s yet another reminder to me how out of place I feel in the corporate world when these things come up because I’ve never really been able to do this and not feel like I had zero integrity. But I suppose that’s what tends to happen: people lose the meaning of “integrity” in the race to get ahead in Corporate America to the point where “integrity” means virtually nothing.

Manhattan Chinatown in the morning: when everything comes alive, and you tiao (油条) can be discovered made fresh

I dropped Kaia off at school this morning since I had a 5pm work call that I couldn’t get out of, so Chris picked her up today. Since it’s technically mid-winter recess in New York City this week, kids who are opted in (and paying for) after-school hours can still attend school this week, just that the hours are slightly shorter. Drop-off this week is at 9am (instead of 8:30), and pickup can be no later than 5pm (it’s usually 6pm, but I usually try to pick up between 5-5:10).

Chris has said he prefers doing morning drop off and has gotten into a routine of it. When I have suggested in the past that he make use of that morning drop off time by buying some groceries and baked goods, he’s brushed it off, insisting he doesn’t have time and has a pseudo morning work schedule he has to adhere to. To be fair, he doesn’t really care to explore different shops in Chinatown the way I do, so it’s better that I do these things during the occasional times I do morning drop off. Like any decent sized Chinatown, the real life and energy of Manhattan Chinatown starts early in the morning, when all the produce and meats are getting delivered, when all the bakeries are churning out all their buns and breads and sweets fresh. The really good bakeries open as early as 8am; the shops tend to open around 9. This is the best time to come down here and buy all the freshly made staples for cooking Chinese food at home, such as freshly churned out and steaming hot rice noodles, fresh pressed tofu in endless forms, seitan, and soy milk. By the time I come between 4:30-5pm for school pickup, most of the best stuff has already sold out completely, or they’ve been sitting there, waiting to be purchased all day.

This morning, we arrived in Chinatown a bit early, so I decided to take Kaia into one of my favorite fresh food shops to pick up some things for cooking in the next week. This brought us to Kong Kee Food Corp, which is just a block over from her school. I discovered this spot maybe 10-ish years ago: they make fresh tofu and seitan in endless forms, as well as fresh rice noodles, herbal tea, and soy milk. They distribute to a lot of local supermarkets and restaurants. If you come early in the morning, they have stir fried noodles and rice noodle soup for breakfast that you can carry out. When we arrived, there were already some older ladies who were coming in to purchase breakfast noodles to go. A worker in the back was sitting at a table hand cutting noodles in bulk. Kaia curiously wandered around, looking at all the items in the glass cases and peering up at the female workers. She started giggling when one of them gave her attention; the woman behind the counter was so besotted by her that she took a package of fruit snacks and dangled them out as a gift for her. “So cute!” the woman kept exclaiming.

When I come in to Kong Kee, the items I get the most often are the pressed and five-spiced pressed tofu. I have also previously purchased and enjoyed their fresh rice noodles, which are cut thinly almost like pho noodles, thicker like ho fun/he fun (chow fun noodles), and also in huge sheets for large rice noodle rolls. I’ve also gotten their seitan and enjoyed it. This time, I purchased some seitan (kao fu), five spice pressed tofu as repeat buys. For new items to try, I finally got two sticks of you tiao (the Chinese donut crullers I wanted for jook at home), as morning is the best time to buy these sticks. I also chose a large container of their soy milk. They added some sugar at my request.

Well, according to the Shanghai saying, I already purchased two of the four warriors for Shanghainese breakfast – “四大金刚” Sìdà Jīngāng. The classic Shanghainese brekkie, heavy on the carbs of course, would be these four items: you tiao / Chinese donut stick, ci fan (pressed rice roll), shao bing (Shanghainese flat flaky sesame pancake), and fresh hot soy milk. I can’t wait to have my you tiao later! It’s the first time I’ve ever purchased these sticks whole anywhere in New York City!

When I look at whole long you tiao sticks in Chinese bakeries and food shops, I am reminded of the time shortly after my grandma passed when my mom made a big pot of jook. It was always a treat when we’d have jook at home and also have you tiao to dip into it. The textural contrast between the crisp chewiness of the you tiao against the soft creaminess of the jook was always so comforting and satisfying. My grandma would occasionally buy a bag of these freshly fried sticks from a local bakery, and when we’d have jook at the table, it would be a happy surprise when she’d lay out a plate of the you tiao, already neatly cut into bite sized pieces for us to dunk into our jook bowls. But it was always my grandma who bought them; we never knew what they were even called in Chinese then, and we didn’t know which bakeries to buy them from.

So one day, my mom was determined to resolve this issue. She said we would go out together searching and would find those donut sticks! My mom and I wandered around Clement Street (like San Francisco Richmond District’s mini Chinatown) and went bakery to bakery, peering in to see if anyone sold them. We used our broken Toisan to ask around, but we kept getting negative responses; none of these places made this donut stick. Finally, we got to a bakery off of 6th avenue that had them way in the back, in a big metal bin, all standing upright and tall, waiting to be purchased. We pointed passed the cashier guy and motioned towards the you tiao, and they got excited to have helped us solve our mystery of what it was that we were looking for. In Mandarin, you tiao are literally called “oil sticks/strips,” while in Cantonese, they are known as “oil fried ghosts” or yàuhjagwái. Since then, I’ve never forgotten the name of them. And since then, I’ve also learned that these delicious fried Chinese donut sticks are eaten not just with jook/congee, but also wrapped in fresh rice noodle rolls (a dim sum delight), tucked into Shanghainese shao bing pancakes, and simply ducked into hot soy milk and eaten.

Memories with food are usually the happiest memories from my childhood, but I don’t think that’s unique to me based on all the childhood stories I’ve heard over the years.

“I WANT CHOICES!”

Everyone says they want choices. Then when presented with too many choices, people get so overwhelmed by decision paralysis that they realize that they don’t want too many choices, but just enough to feel like they are actually choosing from an array of things. The last several months before heading off to school, we’ve really simplified Kaia’s first breakfast of the day (I say “first breakfast” because she gets a SECOND breakfast when she arrives at school!) so that it’s really just cereal: it’s Weetbix or (organic, Whole Foods brand) Cherrios, and occasionally she can have some toast with peanut butter. But I realized that I really want her eating oats more regularly as she used to, and not just in baked healthy muffins and cookies. So I started making my oat porridge fingers again with oats, peanut butter, flaxseed, and milk. She ate them for breakfast yesterday, but this morning, she got really mad when I presented them to her along with a cup of milk.

“I don’t want this!” she yelled. “I don’t want to eat oats today!”

I told her that mummy made them just for Kaia, so she should eat some for her brekkie.

“I WANT CHOICES!” she yelled back. “I DON’T WANT OATS! I DON’T WANT OATS!”

I always have to stifle a laugh whenever she goes into these little indignant outbursts. I want her to know I take her seriously, but at the same time, I cannot help but think how comical all of these situations are. If we went back to 3-year-old me, circa 1989, and I yelled at my mom like this, she easily would have just whacked me or slapped my face to get me to shut up. She would have hit me into submission until I ate every last bite of oats. But here, I ended up relenting with one other option: I asked her if she wanted toast with peanut butter. She said yes, and I went ahead and prepped that.

Who knows — maybe one day, when Kaia is in her 30s, she will be in therapy and recount the time when she was 3 years old, when her mom *almost* forced her into eating peanut butter oat porridge fingers. And she will discuss how that felt like traumatizing experience to her.