Older kids and their curiosity

Today, we took the LIRR out to Port Washington to visit my friend, her husband, and their two kids. Their oldest is 5, and their youngest is about 8 months older than Kaia, so just over 2. As soon as we arrived, we were bombarded by their two kids. Their younger one is a bit shyer and seemed to prefer observing and interacting with Kaia as she explored their endless collection of toys and books. The older one seemed more fascinated by Chris and me as adult guests. She was quick to show us all the things she’s been making in school and in her extracurricular activities, and she wanted to show me all the new things that were recently purchased by her parents or gifted to her by her grandparents or her other parents’ friends. It was really cute.

I think what stunned me about their oldest, their daughter, was exactly how chatty she was, how she was insistent on having back and forth conversation, and how she knew just so much. She seemed to be aware of all the latest songs, cartoon characters, and even how to operate all the electronic devices (Google) in the house. It will be curious to see how Kaia develops and how much she enjoys interacting and speaking with other adults. Right now, she is absolutely obsessed with saying “hi,” or “hello!” and waving constantly to almost everyone she passes. I wonder if she will continue to be that open and friendly as she gets older.

Increasing awareness and understanding of Kaia Pookie

Every day, Kaia is learning even more things and becoming more aware. When she wants to go outside, she either says “shoes” or “jacky” (jacket), grabs her jacket and/or shoes, and demands to go out while saying “outside!” When I’ve come to pick her up from school each early evening, when we get into the elevator in our building, she now says “nineteen,” as when we’ve been in the elevator with others, others will ask what floor we are on to press the button for us. Next, she will ask for “keys?” She anticipates a lot more now.

This is a good and bad thing. When she sees her saline nose spray or Frida nose sucker, or the toothbrush, or hears me say “brush teeth,” she immediately starts squirming to run away or yells. She also is NOT a fan of getting her hair combed, or of having me do her hair each morning.

She also has recognized when we have replaced one word for another. After she started recognizing that “paci” referred to her pacifier, she kept repeating the word. I changed the name to “dummy” when I’d refer to it to Chris, but she quickly recognized that dummy = paci, so she’d say both words. My baby is getting too smart for us.

Cancelled lunch with colleagues

Despite the fact that we’re a tech company based in San Francisco and have many, many employees in the New York City area, we do not have a New York City office, nor are there any plans to make one. Everyone seems pretty happy with having our main U.S. offices just in San Francisco and Denver, and the lack of East Coast office just means that all of us East Coast employees are 100% remote. But what this means is…. we pretty much have almost no in-person bonding time. No water cooler moments. No chance to get to know random people in the kitchen or bathroom or water fountain; sometimes, it can feel a bit lonely. Even though I don’t miss the politics of my last company, I do miss having the in-person camaraderie: I miss the coffee catch-ups, the occasionally lunches and happy hours. I also miss having the random jokes and desk laughs, plus of course, the free snacks and food.

So when my colleagues who live in Westchester mentioned that they’d be in the city today and wanted to have lunch, I immediately jumped at the chance. I cleared my calendar and shifted some meetings… And then was immediately disappointed when the air quality in the area was so bad, ranking even worse than Delhi, that my colleagues decided to reschedule for a later date.

Sometimes, it feels like the only colleague I get to interact with is… my apartment. And that’s the sad, annoying thing about working from home full time. I appreciate the privilege of working remotely full time, and think it fits my current stage of life with a young toddler and a family to feed/chores to get done, but these are the moments when I get annoyed and wish I could talk to more people every day.

The apocalypse has come to New York

In the last few days, wild fires have been breaking out all across Canada. The news has reported that over 400 wild fires are active, and the largest concentration of them are in Quebec. Unfortunately, what that also means is that the smoke is coming all the way down to the northeast part of the U.S. Yesterday, I noticed a huge haze over the city, and when I went outside to pick up Kaia from school after 5pm, it largely smelled smoky outside.

Today, it’s been even worse. Inside our apartment, even without the air conditioning turned on, it smells smoky. The building shut off AC in all common areas since our HVAC system pulls in outside air. The sky has ranged in color from dark grey to orange and yellow. At times, it got so dark in our apartment that I had to turn on overhead lights during the day. Downtown is no longer visible from our windows looking down south. I can’t see the water along the Hudson anymore, either. Kaia’s school sent out a notification that none of the kids would have outdoors time (as they usually do during the summer) due to the poor air quality. In my neighbors groups on Facebook, pregnant women are worried that their fetuses will be harmed. Dog-owners say their dogs refuse to go outside because they can smell the smoke, and so they are searching for any spare wee-wee pads for them. Lots of people can be seen walking the streets wearing N-95 masks.

Climate change knows no borders. It doesn’t discriminate. This, unfortunately, looks like it will be our new normal.

Two big beds, one small Pookie

Since Kaia has been sick and teething on and off since starting daycare, it’s been even more challenging to keep her in her (open) crib bed throughout the night. We finally replaced our twin-sized air mattress that got a hole in it in the last week and got a queen-sized air mattress, which we covered with a fitted sheet and added a pillow to. Kaia loves her bed space; she also still has her separation anxiety, as when she sees us lying on the bed beside the crib mattress, she refuses to stay on the crib and insists on rolling over onto the air mattress where we are. Somehow, miraculously, she slept the entire night last night on the crib mattress and the air mattress. Chris found her asleep this morning — just past the crib bumper and on the air mattress, sleeping comfortably head down, with her butt high in the air — her usual comfortable, happy sleeping position. She is likely one of the only almost 18-month olds who has THIS much bed space all to herself. My silly Kaia Pookie.

Relatable memes about parenthood

Ever since I became pregnant, I have been served endless child/parenting related memes and posts on social media. One of the most recent ones that I remembered and chuckled out loud at went something along the lines of:

“My child is the most precious thing in the world to me.

I can’t wait until 7pm (their bedtime).”

It reminded me of one of our friends who has twin girls who recently turned 4 years old. Ever since we can remember, he’s constantly made comments about how he wishes he could be a stay-at-home dad, that it would truly be the best job for him, in an ideal world. His full-time work schedule is Sunday through Thursday, so he’s off on Fridays and Saturdays. His wife works Monday through Friday. From Monday through Thursday, his in-laws care for the twins full time. So on Friday, that’s his full-time dad duty day. Keeping this in mind, he’s also made this comment given they will be starting preschool this fall, “I cannot fucking wait until the girls start preschool because it means I will have Friday ALL TO MYSELF – sleep in, play video games, and do whatever the fuck I want and be free of them!”

So, I think the above meme sums up exactly how he feels. And how a lot of us parents of young children likely feel.

No more bathtub seat for Pookster

When I was setting up Kaia’s bath this evening, I realized that given her size and length now, she really doesn’t even need her seat anymore. First, we started her as a tiny newborn in the newborn sling; then we detached it and had her sit up in the bathtub seat at around 4 months. And now, at almost 18 months, she’s graduated and no longer needs the seat. We probably could have nixed the seat earlier, but I just got used to the habit of having it, really. So we bid farewell to the seat today and I detached it from her baby bathtub. Soon, she will no longer even need the baby bath tub and will be able to bathe comfortably and slip free in the regular bath tub. Recently, she’s also gotten frustrated with having water dunked over her head, so lots of interesting developments as she gets older.

The worst teething case now thus far

Kaia has not been happy. She has some side front teeth coming out, and surprise surprise: the pain seems to be the worst, even worse than her molars. With her molars, I was actually quite surprised that four popped out in her mouth with very little fussing or noticeable pain from her. With these two side front teeth, she’s so upset that she’s barely eaten anything over the last day, even her usual favorites. Even bread hurts her; she took a few bites and screamed.

Chris didn’t think it would be fun or productive to go out and about with her today, so we decided to stay home and let her rest. We walked around the building and in the common areas. I made some apple sauce, banana, and chia seed (ABC) cookies for her, which she ate four of in one go, so at least that was a hit. But we ended up not really leaving the building at all today, which is strange for us on a Saturday. Hopefully, she will be better tomorrow to go out.

Baby comes home in a diaper two sizes too small

Earlier this week when we brought Kaia home from daycare, she was wearing a diaper we did not recognize — with an Elmo design on it. I didn’t think much of it; I figured the teachers got the diapers mixed up once, and I let it go. But then today, she came home with a Target brand diaper (which we buy), but it was a size 3; that’s two sizes smaller than the diaper she typically wears. Plus, it was super tight on her. After changing, I realized she had a bit of a rash on her butt, and I started applying some diaper rash cream. All rashes are inevitably going to be uncomfortable, but a diaper rash is worse because given the fact that this area is always covered with a diaper other than during diaper changes and baths, it has no time or “air” to breathe and be free, which makes it even more susceptible to getting worse over time.

I was willing to let it go with the first diaper, but with the second diaper, I was definitely annoyed… not just because it was someone else’s diaper, but because the diaper was just too small. And who knows – maybe that small diaper is what ultimately caused Kaia’s rash? It would be hard to prove, but she has never before had any type of diaper rash, not even a small one. Also, this would mean that Kaia’s diapers are likely being used on someone else! So I sent a note to the teachers to address the problem. Whatever their response will be, I know for sure it will not just simply be a scowl or death stare that assumes zero accountability the way I used to get for even the most benign feedback from our ex-nanny.

Eating dinner out: how it’s different with a baby/toddler

My friend suggested going out to eat next Friday night, but I told her that I wouldn’t be able to go out (or, at least, not that far) because Chris already had tentative plans to go out to eat with his friends, and so I’d need to be with Pookster. She responded that she could still come over, and suggested we could still eat out and just take Kaia with us.

While that sounds like an easy solution… it’s not as easy as a non-parent would think. Kaia really shouldn’t stay out too late given her age, and to keep her on schedule (and away from crankiness), we need to keep her bedtime at around 7-7:30. So that means we would need to eat early, closer to 5-5:30pm when she typically eats, and ease her into her sleepy time before then. A lot of people think parents are just being inflexible with schedules, but schedules are what babies and toddlers need to thrive. They need a schedule and a level of predictability in a world of chaos. It keeps them grounded, and it prevents things like tantrums, hunger, and over-tiredness, which then results in baby mood swings.

What’s likely going to happen is that we’ll probably get takeout somewhere. I’ll pick Kaia up a bit early from daycare, and we’ll eat at home and hang out until she has to go to bed. It’s much easier to hang out with friends with baby in tow during the day as opposed to dinner time for this reason. It’s a temporary adjustment given the stage of life we’re currently in now. But as with all stages, it has its time and is temporary, so I’m happy with it because I know it will pass.