I really hate my teeth. And I know I’ve had a lukewarm-to-hate relationship with them because ever since I can remember, I’ve always had nightmares about my teeth. I’ve had dreams ranging from teeth being loose (as an adult, which clearly is not good), teeth falling out, teeth chipping and cracking, to teeth just dangling from what looks like a string to my gums. Last night, I had a dream that when I took out my mouth guard (for teeth grinding), what also came out with them were some of my teeth. What remained in my upper bite were a few teeth dangling from my gums, threatening to fall out.

When I used to read dream dictionaries as a teen (yes, I really did this), the interpretation for teeth problems in dreams was that the dreamer was lying, and the teeth falling out was like a warning for the person to stop the fibbing. I don’t really have much to lie about right now, so that doesn’t seem like a very accurate interpretation, so I’m pretty sure this has to do with the fact that I’m painfully aware that a) I grind my teeth at night, b) I have a loose baby tooth in my mouth that is probably going to come out in the next couple of years), and c) I have sensitivity all over my freaking teeth.

Now, I can only dream of what it would be like to eat really cold food without having to strategically place it in my mouth and chew it a certain way. And I have to keep hard, crunchy foods on the left side of my mouth. These are not supposed to be problems of someone six months shy of 30.