Kilos and kilos of fruit at Queen Victoria Market, along with my fave cheesemonger

We went to Queen Vic Market today for our annual visit to one of the best damn markets in all of Australia. Today, we probably bought the largest haul of produce that we’ve ever gotten from Queen Vic: multiple bunches of choy sum, gai lan, and snake beans (Chinese long beans); eight massive Kensington Pride mangoes, twelve passion fruits (that were quite heavy for their size!); two kilos of super pink and sweet lychees, a kilo of Tasmanian cherries. The Asian vendor who sold us the greens was very particular about his produce, as he didn’t want us touching anything. We told him what we wanted and the quantity, and instead of grabbing the ones on display, he’d go to his massive buckets of greens, all soaked in ice-cold water, take out which bunches he thought looked good, do a quick rinse, then shake them out and place them in a bag for us. All of his vegetables looked photogenic and perfect, and the prices were insanely low (especially once you converted them from AUD to USD). The Kensington Pride mangoes seemed like they were perfuming the entire open market; all I could smell was their sweet, honey-like perfume walking up and down the large, wide aisles. We sampled sweet cherries and lychees and sniffed passion fruits and other local fruit along the way. And in between tasting all this fresh, local fruit, we enjoyed a delicious canele and slice of pistachio basque cheesecake from a French pastry vendor called Lemon and Butter. While the canele was certainly good, Chris and I were both totally blown away by how rich the pistachio flavor was in the basque cheesecake. I’d never had a basque cheesecake flavored with pistachio before today. And I figured that the baker must have used really high quality pistachio paste to make this absolutely perfect slice.

Another important stop at Queen Vic for me since last year that we made again today was at Ripe, the only all-Australian artisanal cheese market in the world. Hakim, the Singaporean-born owner, greeted us with friendliness and warmth from the moment we walked up to his stall last year. And I remember feeling so happy to give this guy business. Most wineries and fromageries historically have been White-owned and run, and frankly, they also have a reputation for having an air of pretension and snobbery… especially when serving us since we don’t look like them. But Hakim was anything but that. He gave us samples, explained in laymen’s terms how the cheese was produced and what flavors to expect, and was just an all around happy, fun, passionate-about-cheese guy. Last year, we purchased three cheeses to enjoy together as a family. When we walked up to his stall again today, he immediately recognized us (“You came here this time last year!”), gave us a very warm toothy smile, and welcomed us back to the Southern Hemisphere. And this year, we also picked up another three decadent cheeses, with one repeat from last year: the Silver Wattle, which he describes as a soft, bloomy lactic cheese in the style of St. Marcellin. It’s fudgy and lemony when young; soft, creamy, luxurious when ripe. Because it is pre-packaged and weighed in a cute little wooden round, we were not able to sample it, but that flavor stayed with me with how indulgent, rich, and multifaceted the flavor was. In addition to the Silver Wattle re-purchase, we also sampled and purchased the Ashed Triple Cream Brie (“Australia’s best brie: rolled in charcoal which enhances the creamy, nutty flavor of this fabulous cheese”) and the Banksia Reserve, “made traditionally like in France. It is aged more than one year. It is pungent and brothy/umami with age, satisfying with good length of flavour.” This is the second time we’ve spent a good deal of money ($59 AUD, or about $37 USD on fancy cheese) ever to bring home and enjoy, but what the heck — why not? I love supporting this business, and he clearly has delicious, high quality stuff.

A couple other notable things we left with : over 1.125 liters of freshly pressed sugar cane juice from a sugar cane truck (WHEN HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A SUGAR CANE TRUCK ANYWHERE?), plus an ube “Morkshake” from Mork Chocolate, a chocolate stand I like at Queen Vic. The ube shake is made with a chocolate fudge sauce and matcha swirl, and it was so rich and ube-flavored that it was like a meal in itself!

We ended our outing with a visit to the famous eating street, Hardware Lane, for some char kway teow and char mee at Lulu’s Char Koay Teow. They had perfect “wok hei” in both noodle dishes, along with copious amounts of cockles in the kway teow and razor clams (which I rarely get but love!) in the char mee. Kaia got to try and indulge in a cold, chocolatey Milo for the very first time. Milo is nostalgic for Chris since it was a childhood favorite drink. And we got a perfectly frothy teh tarik.

It was a fun, food-filled day. Every time we come back home with huge food hauls like this, I always say to Chris, “We’re RICH!” It definitely feels like we’re rich with all the delicious culinary treats and indulgences we get. I’ve never brought home an entire two kilos of lychees in my life!

Annual Southern Hemisphere meetup with my Instagram friend

This evening, I went to Elwood, a suburb close to where Chris’s parents live, to have dinner at a Greek restaurant with a friend I made on Instagram during the pandemic. Since 2022, I’ve been meeting with her once a year in December when we come back down here. In 2022, we met at a cafe here in Brighton with our respective babies. In 2023, we met at a children’s museum so the kids could play while we caught up. And this year, we actually went out without the kids and just caught up one on one. She seemed really relieved when I suggested we just meet up 1:1 (which was at Chris’s suggestion). She’s had a slightly difficult year, and she was looking forward to the child-free time with me and some wine.

We’ve only ever seen each other three times, but we’ve had a lot of conversations through Instagram messenger over the years. We have a lot in common, as we originally found out about each other through each others’ food handles, and with a shared culture, plus the fact that she’s Melbourne based, it added to our commonalities. Once we ended up coincidentally having kids around the same time, I thought it might even be like fate that we were supposed to be friends in opposite hemispheres. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that there are not only different definitions of “closeness,” but also different definitions of “comfort.” Even though I’ve only seen her in person three times, every time we’re together, it feels really comfortable, almost as though we can talk about anything and everything is just an open book. She opened up to me about her family problems, marital problems, debate about whether to have a second child. She talked to me about her own evolution in terms of her views on therapy, as she’s currently in therapy and had convinced her husband to do couples therapy, as well. I talked to her about my family dynamics, Ed’s struggles and suicide at her request, and we talked a lot about intergenerational trauma and how to heal and move on from it.

Sometimes, you can’t always have frequency of in-person meetups due to, well, geography and life. But I feel lucky to know I have one friend in Melbourne who has no connection to Chris I can meet up with and feel comfortable with when I come all the way here. It’s nice to have someone so far away that will make time for you and look forward to seeing you, even when you originally started as complete strangers. It’s a really nice kind of kinship that I am grateful for.

Koalas: one of the most useless animals on earth that I love

Ever since I was a kid, I have loved koalas. I am very stereotypical in my appreciation of animals in that I love cute animals: I love dogs, koalas, pandas, and kangaroos. I appreciate tigers, lions, leopards, and cheetahs, and I’d clearly be terrified if I ever came across one near me that was not in a cage, but I’d never say I love them. Marsupials are a particularly interesting type of animal to me, as someone who grew up in the Northern Hemisphere, because they have… POUCHES. How can that not be fascinating to a human being, who relies on things like jackets and pants to have pockets to store things?

Probably to the detriment of animals across the globe that we actually need and make a true difference, the entire world is not too much different from me in their appreciation, fascination, and love of cute and relatively useless animals: tens of millions of dollars are spent by people and governments to preserve and help grow the population of koalas and pandas, another cute, fat, and lazy animal that pretty much does nothing. While both are useless and do little to help the planet, we all cannot help but gush and giggle at their silly, clumsy movements and every chew of eucalyptus leaves (koalas) or bamboo (pandas).

So that was basically me when I got to see koalas again this trip, first at the Port Stephens Koala Sanctuary, then at the Blackbutt Reserve. We got to see koalas moving along branches, chewing endless gum leaves, and simply sleeping. And with koalas, because they are so slow moving, you really have to observe them for a while to really see any “action.” Koalas spend anywhere from 18-22 hours per day sleeping. They spend the remaining time awake eating, moving through trees and branches, grooming, or mating. It sounds so ridiculous, but to this day, I could probably spend several hours standing there, watching a single koala move around branch to branch, chew on gum leaves, and simply blink their eyes, and I’d be relatively satisfied as though I were watching a live theater show.

My general sentiment in a weak defense of myself is: I’m allowed to have a few indulgences, and well, this is one of them. Not every single thing I do and like has to be to help the world progress and be better. And I suppose my love of pandas and koalas is one of those things.

“Why are you going there?”

I have a number of Instagram followers who reside in Australia. Some of them actively comment on my Instagram stories, and others I’ve actually had some private conversations with via Instagram messenger. One of them lives in Sydney, and she asked how long I’d be in Australia and where I’d go. I told her that Chris’s family is in Melbourne, so we’d spend the majority of the time there, but we always do a side trip somewhere else domestically. This year, Chris chose Newcastle in New South Wales. Her response was, “Why are you going there? Usually people only go to Newcastle if they have family. International tourists (like me) don’t really go there.”

I appreciate her conversation, as I do anyone who is technically a stranger on social media who wants to have non-combative conversation or engage with me in a positive way. But I secretly kind of love it when people ask me the question “Why are you going there?” of any place we go. Other people tend to dislike it. But I actually relish it because it’s ultimately indicative of the fact that not all the places we choose to go to are “mainstream,” that they may be roads less taken and traveled to. Perhaps they are gems that only locals or those within a country or given area know about. It’s one huge perk (or what I think is a perk) of having married someone who is from another country with family still residing there: it’s an opportunity for me to immerse myself in that culture and see places that I otherwise probably wouldn’t have visited, or visited to the level of depth that I have.

Places that are on the most traveled-to lists, destinations like New York, Los Angeles, London, Paris, ALL OF ITALY — these are places that need no explanation when people choose to visit them. No one ever asks, “Why are you going to Paris?” because the cosmopolitan city speaks for itself in its name. But there are so many other places less traveled to that are incredible and have special things about them. Back in 2018, I got so many concerned responses, warning messages, and “Why are you going there?” questions from people when I shared we were going to Colombia. Now, Colombia is ON THE MAP. Americans are going there in hoards. It’s one of the “it” places to visit. Endless bachelor/bachelorette parties are happening there.

We spent the day exploring Port Stephens Koala Sanctuary, Nelson Bay, and Tea Gardens today. We indulged in a sumptuous seafood platter, complete with fresh creamy oysters and mussels that Kaia went nuts over. We saw some gorgeous views at Gan Gan Hill Lookout of the Tomaree Coastline. We also spent some time at the beach, where Kaia had endless giggles and threw a tantrum when we told her we had to leave. Who knows — one day when tourists have tired of Sydney, Melbourne, and Cairns when visiting Australia, Newcastle and the surrounds may be next on the map!

Hunter Valley wine region in New South Wales

The first time I came to Australia was in 2012, when I got exposed to the wine region of Mornington Peninsula here in the state of Victoria. In subsequent years, I’d had the privilege of visiting a number of other famous wine regions, including the Yarra Valley in Victoria, Barossa Valley, McLaren Vale, and Adelaide Hills in South Australia (where much of the world renowned Australian shirazes hail from), and the Margaret River region all the way in Western Australia. Most people who have been exposed to Australian wine outside of Australia are aware of the high quality Shiraz wines. But I’d say that taste wise, the Hunter Valley wines seem less known or understood. The reason for this is that the Hunter Valley has a dryer, hotter climate than other wine growing regions of Australia, which then allows the grapes to fully ripen on the vine, producing a much different flavor. The wines seem a tad sweeter here, and almost a bit brighter and more effervescent than the typical Shiraz you’d get in South Australia.

We visited a couple different smaller producers to have tastings, including De Iuliis Wines, Hunter Distillery, and Hanging Tree Wines. Some of the standouts included a surprising Shiraz from Tasmania, a brut (“champagne” but not from Champagne, France, obviously) made here and with local grapes, and a delicious lychee liqueur that literally tasted like fresh crushed, juiced lychees. The surprising thing about the shiraz wines here is that they feel much lighter and zestier than the ones we enjoyed in South Australia. The brut wines (sparkling wines) also had a fruitier, buzzier flavor than the champagnes or sparkling wines from elsewhere.

I’ve really loved the wines in Australia, and have been excited to do a wine tour across this country over the last 12 years. In wine shops in the U.S., we are seeing more and more of them as people abroad are discovering them. But the best ones are obviously here (and well, exported to China).

Flight to Newcastle, New South Wales

Yesterday evening, we took a flight from Melbourne to Newcastle, New South Wales. We’ll be spending the next four days here. Newcastle is a seaport in New South Wales. It’s the largest coal exporting harbor in the world. Also known as “Newy,” Newcastle is known for its harbor, beaches, and proximity to the famous Hunter Valley wine region. While here, we’re planning to see and taste the wine region, enjoy the beaches, and also experience the beautiful coastline. Also, we cannot forget the seafood!

While on our short flight over, we were served an in-flight meal. Even in economy class, flights in Australia always give you food to eat, and I tend to forget this since on U.S. carriers, I’m used to getting a simple beverage at most and some crappy packaged snack. Chris had pre-ordered a kids meal for Kaia, which included some sweet we wouldn’t let her eat, as well as strawberry-flavored milk. To date, Kaia had never had any flavored milk before. American flavored milk would likely be too sweet, so we always steered clear of those and kept her away from bottled juices as much as possible given excess sugar consumption. But this time, we let her try some of the strawberry milk. Though she seemed to like it, she didn’t actually want much of it and abandoned it. The flavor of the strawberry milk was nostalgic for Chris, though, so after he shared some with me, he proceeded to finish drinking the rest of it. I will admit: this strawberry milk was far less sweet than the equivalent back in the States, and it was actually pretty enjoyable.

When the flight attendant came around to pick up all our rubbish and food trays, he laughed when he saw that it wasn’t Kaia who was drinking the strawberry milk, but Chris! I’m sure he wondered whether Kaia’s parents had actually ordered the kids’ meal for Kaia… or whether they secretly ordered it for themselves to enjoy as closeted adult fans of flavored milk and kid treats. It was a pretty comical moment during our short flight up.

The other thing I always forget when I fly on non-U.S.-based carriers is how high the quality of service is versus U.S. carriers. On all the flights on Qantas on this trip, the flight attendants have been extremely accommodating, attentive, and kind, particularly to Kaia. It makes me wonder why U.S. airline staff always seems far more entitled than Australian airline staff just on delivering… customer service, which is exactly what their entire jobs are. If you can’t even do your basic job functions well, why are you even choosing that position?

A well-meaning and loving mum-in-law / Suma

I cannot count the number of horror stories I’ve heard from friends, colleagues, and in my different social media groups about people’s mothers-in-law. The common thing I always hear is that people generally always get better support from their own parents when they have kids versus their in-laws, who can, in some cases, even be oppressive. People have also just assumed this is the case with me, and I’m pretty quick to correct them. The sad thing is — I cannot relate to those sentiments. My in-laws are far more supportive with Kaia than my parents ever have been. When we’re in Melbourne, they’ve babysat for her a number of nights when we’ve gone out to be child-free. My mum-in-law does all our laundry, including Kaia’s. She helps with cleaning her up if she’s there when Kaia’s finished a meal. She pays careful attention (and I wouldn’t be surprised if she even took NOTES) to what we say Kaia likes and doesn’t like. She even thinks about things I don’t think about. During our first year here with Kaia as a baby in 2022, she bought baby/child-safe insect repellant for her since the mozzies can be quite aggressive down here. Back then, I was touched when she would roast and air fry vegetables for Kaia and prepare them almost exactly as I prepared them back home for her in New York; she carefully watched all the Instagram stories I posted about what I was making Kaia as a baby (my massive baby-led weaning feeding project) and did it all for her when we came.

This time on our first day, my mum-in-law baked mini banana muffins for Kaia modeled after the healthy snacks I’d occasionally bake her. She also asked her friend for her recipe for healthy oat-nut cookies that she’d bake her grandchildren, since she knew that Kaia loved having healthy cookies at home made by her mummy. When we arrived on our first day, she casually mentioned she had them in the cupboard and fridge for Kaia over our lunch. And I just felt floored that she’d go to this level of effort. She’d already made us this elaborate and delicious lunch to welcome us back, a low-sugar vanilla birthday cake for Kaia, and now she’s also made TWO additional healthy baked treats?!

I tell Chris this all the time, but I don’t think he or his brother appreciate his mother enough. She really does try so hard in so many ways. His mum has a really high level of empathy, and she’s always trying to do the right thing whether people appreciate it or not. The level of effort she exerts to cater to Kaia’s needs based on what she knows I want and prefer has been really touching; I was nearly moved to tears when she showed me the container of healthy, low-sugar oat cookies she made. They even had little chopped nuts and dried fruit in them. She’s been following all of my social media and trying to replicate what I do for Pookster while we’re staying at her home here in Melbourne. I could only wish my mom would go to even a fraction of the same effort, but instead, she would just insist her way is the best way and that I lack wisdom to know what is best for my own child.

The first time Pookster made me cry

I’ve really become so soft since becoming a mother. I’m probably a bit more sensitive. I tear up and cry more easily at things. I’m definitely a lot more sentimental. But it wasn’t until today when Kaia finally made me cry because of something she said.

I was sitting at my in-laws’ dining table, indulging Kaia with fresh lychees I’d just peeled for her to enjoy. She was sitting there happily, meticulously biting and chewing all the lychee flesh around the little pits and spitting them out into her bowl. I rubbed her back and asked her if she loved me in Chinese.

She shook her head and said no.

I asked her why she didn’t love me. She hesitated between lychee bites. And she said, “I’m not happy, mummy. I’m sad.”

“Pookster, why are you sad?” I asked back, concerned.

“Because… because… because I’m a big girl,” Kaia slowly responded, looking down at her lychees, then at me. “I’m not mumma’s baby anymore.”

My eyes immediately welled up with tears, and they started falling down my face. I gave her a big hug and held her tightly. “Oh, Pookster! Nooooooooo. You will always, always be mumma’s baby no matter how old you are. You’re a big girl now, yes, but you will always be my baby. I will always love you no matter what. Always remember that, okay?”

Kaia looked down again, then peered up at me and smiled. “I love you, Mumma!” And then she reached out to hold my hand.

My baby is just so thoughtful, so sweet and affectionate. Since she was a baby, to me she has seemed like a deep thinker who usually thinks before she speaks, and thinks long and hard about things we say and tell her. I was of course sad at the sentiments she expressed. But I was also so sad, shocked, and even impressed at the depth of her thought. To think that at age 3, she is already thinking about her own evolution and how she is seen through my eyes is crazy. Every single damn day, this child impresses me and gives me new emotions. I’m so freaking proud to be her mummy.

Australian Kensington Pride (KP mangoes), lychees, and cherries

Today, we spent time in the suburbs of Springvale and Clayton, eating and snacking our way around. One of my favorite things to do in Springvale is to walk through Springvale Centre, where there are endless rows of fresh produce, almost all locally grown in Australia, and all the stuff I absolutely love: EXOTIC FRUIT. In previous years, we’d purchased jackfruit, but this year, it seemed like the big focus on the day we came was mangoes, lychees, and cherries. They had about four or five varieties of mangoes, including a green sour mango that is meant to be eaten crunchy. I was able to sample these, and while they were very satisfying and even slightly sweet, when I think of mangoes, I really want the juicy sweet ones. So I bargained for and purchased some Kensington Pride mangoes, Australian grown lychees, and cherries. The lychees were much different in appearance from the ones we’ve bought in New York Chinatown: the skins seem to be a paler, almost brighter pink. And the flesh of the lychee seems like a more vibrant white color. In addition, the texture of the lychee seems crunchier! These were exceptionally sweet, almost floral and candy-like in flavor. They were so addictive! Even though we’d purchased over a kilo, somehow we got through them so quickly!

We brought them home and shared them with Chris’s parents, and of course, Kaia got to indulge in them; she has totally loved lychees since her very first time eating them as a baby. This time, however, was Kaia’s first opportunity to navigate lychees and their pits. Previously, I’d always peeled and de-pitted them for her to enjoy. She’s been lazy with peeling, even though I know she’s certainly capable of doing it. So I relented and just gave the lychees to her peeled. She expertly navigated the pits, sometimes even instructing ME, step by step, on how to chew and spit out the pit, “Into the bowl, mummy!” I love these moments when I can witness my baby acting like a big girl, becoming a little more independent and savvy every day. It seems basic, to navigate a fruit pit. But hey, it must be learned, and when she masters something new, her mama is always proud.

The World Gourmet Awards – Shandong Mama wins!

On our first full day back in Melbourne, the three of us spent the afternoon wandering around Melbourne’s central business district (CBD), looking at all the fun and summery Christmas decor, and viewing the Christmas windows at Myer, which this year are Irwin Zoo themed, and luckily for us, had no queues for us to deal with. So we were able to see each of the window displays with ease. We also walked through Melbourne CBD’s Chinatown, and made an obligatory stop at Shandong Mama, my favorite Shandong-style dumpling shop I’ve been going to since 2013, when I first discovered them. When I first started going there, it was a relatively under the radar, small hole-in-the-wall in the Mid-City Arcade in Chinatown. Since then, I have read that local magazines and newspapers have written that Shandong Mama is all the rage with Melbourne (and Australia’s) top chefs, and it’s literally been featured on every single “Best Dumplings of Melbourne” list. The menu has expanded, as well as the prices…

We made a quick pit stop here for Shandong Mama’s famous Spanish mackerel and chive dumplings, which were just as pillowy, fluffy, moussey, and well seasoned with ginger and other spices as I can always remember. Every year we come back, and I am thrilled to see that their quality has not changed at all despite their increasing demand and success. And how exciting: they posted this huge sign of Shandong Mama, a retired former accountant from Shandong, posing at the World Gourmet Awards 2023, having won the 2023 Lifestyle Dining Award! I felt so happy for their success, as well as my undying loyalty to their deliciousness.

The regional cuisine of China is becoming more and more well known. People are recognizing how nuanced and different the flavors of China can be. And I’m happy I’ve been lucky to have been eating these dumplings for the last 11 years and supporting one of the eight regional Chinese cuisines that Melbourne is known for!