On Monday afternoon, I went out for a coffee catchup with a friend of a friend who lives in Hong Kong. She used to be a friend’s roommate way back in 2011-2012 when my friend temporarily lived in New York. I haven’t seen this person since my friend’s wedding in 2012. While we hung out in larger groups of mutual friends, I realize that I never had a clear picture of her personality because I’d never had a real 1-on-1 conversation with her before. She contacted me about a month ago to let me know that she would be accompanying her husband on a work trip to New York and wanted to see if I’d be free for a catch-up. I agreed, figuring it would be nice to chat with a familiar face and actually get to know her for her as opposed to group chat. It’s been 14 years, so a long time had passed! And I’m always happy to give people a chance and time assuming nothing negative had previously transpired between us.
It was actually a really good catch-up and filled my cup. We talked about what we’d been up to since 2012, including work, relocation for her, change in partners, marriage, and IVF and a baby for me. We ended up chatting for nearly two hours, which I wasn’t expecting. She said that she’d likely be back more in New York given her husband’s work, and she insisted that I reach out the next time I’d be in Hong Kong.
It always feels good when someone else takes the initiative in your life to organize a catch-up. A mutual mom friend I met at this last Saturday’s birthday party emailed me to follow up on something she said she’d share with me about Chinese immersion programs in the city (how thoughtful that she’d remember and ask our mutual friend for my email address!). In her message, she asked if I’d be open to catching up over coffee or a drink in the coming weeks. So we exchanged numbers, and we’re planning to meet for coffee in a few weeks.
For a long time, I felt like it was really hard to make and meet new friends in New York City outside of work; in my 20s, it was pretty much impossible. But now, in my late-30s and early-40s, it seems to be happening a lot more naturally for me. And it feels really nice. I’m always happy and willing to meet new people as long as we have similar interests and values, and I’m even happier to meet with them if our backgrounds are nothing alike because it means that I will likely learn a lot I’d never previously been exposed to. And that is always exciting for me.