A neighbor friend in our building, who I regularly meet with for play dates with our children, goes to France about three to four times a year for vacation. Her partner has family in Strasbourg, and they like to spend time in Paris on most of these trips, as well. She had previously told me that they usually just get an AirBnB in the same neighborhood because they enjoy it, plus she likes to have her own kitchen to cook with local produce and ingredients. I never thought much of it until today when we had a play date at Complete Cafe and Playground, and she confessed that she actually didn’t use AirBnB when she goes to Paris, but instead actually owns a pied a terre in the fifth arrondissement there. She and her partner bought it shortly after their son was born, and they generally are very tight-lipped about it. She said she’s shared that she has this second home with fewer fingers than she has on her hand (outside of family).

I didn’t really mind; whatever friends or colleagues choose to share with me, I leave it at that. I generally don’t care to pry unless there’s some very specific reason to do so. But I did ask her why she didn’t want to share it openly, or initially with me. I told her I obviously don’t look at her any differently. She told me that a) she didn’t want her employer to find out, because they may look at her like she’s less committed to living and working in the U.S. and may flee to work in Paris or somewhere else in Europe instead, and b) she felt a bit subconscious about it because she didn’t want other people to think that she and her partner were more wealthy than they actually are.

My neighbor friend and her husband are from France and Turkey, so I guess their mindset does make sense. But given I am American, I found it a little funny because the truth could not be more opposite from what she believed. Most employers don’t care what property you own, if any. I’ve known enough colleagues who own a second home far away from their home base, so I don’t see this as a problem at all. And secondly, and this is just anecdotal — I feel like when Americans are able to afford and buy a second home, no one is secretive about it, and they’re more than happy to share it with everyone and their grandmother. Americans love sharing and flaunting “wealth.” It’s almost part of the ridiculous American dream to be this way inclined. I just found this to be an interesting perspective.