Toenails

The last time I had cut my own toenails and filed them was probably back in September. I remember being a bit challenged because I was already in the third trimester of my pregnancy and my belly had gotten quite large to the extent that it was very difficult even with my knees bent to reach my toes. I remember telling Chris that the next time my nails need to be cut that perhaps he should cut them. He insisted that he would do a bad job at it and suggested that I go to a salon to get a pedicure done. So in November, as one last street for myself before giving birth, I scheduled a pedicure appointment at a nail salon near our apartment. Of course, the nail technician did a beautiful job of taking care of my toes, and now, when I looked down at my toes, I still see the last remnants of the bluish green metallic nail polish that I had chosen. And now, since I am no longer pregnant and my uterus has shrunk and down probably shoe is original size, I can now comfortably cut my nails again. So I sat on the floor and cut my toenails and reveled in the fact that I am able-bodied enough to do this again. 

Unfortunately, while I can now comfortably reach my toes again,  my hands and their physical state are another story. My thumbs hurt, my fingers hurt, and my elbows hurt. Pretty much everything in my arms hurts. My carpal and cubital tunnel have really been aggravated since giving birth. And they have both been further aggravated by the fact that I have been doing more hand expression to get milk out of my breast to sort of prime the pump so to speak before pumping milk with my electric breast pump, as well as the breast compressions that I have been doing during pumping. That goes back to the hands-on pumping  I have been referring to. No one ever warned me that pumping milk with an electric breast pump would be so hands on and freaking exhausting. My friend says it’s because of the pregnancy hormones that are still in my body and will likely continue through my fourth trimester. So, even basic things like pressing down on a button or a nail clipper with my thumb hurts. Rubbing lotion, especially thick lotion like Shea butter hurt my hands. Clamping down on a glassware dish hurts; my body hurts. I want to be less hands-on with pumping, but that will affect how much milk comes out and ultimately my milk supply. This is a never ending battle. And the end result is that I have pain in my fingertips and elbows now most of the day. I wake up with my fingers slightly Immobile and tight. I need to use rubber bands to stretch them out and get them to realize that they need to be able to move again. This sounds pretty pathetic and sad, but alas, this is my new life.

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