A friend and I were having a debate about “good friends” and how good friends should never “grate on your nerves.” I used that term to describe what I sometimes feel when my closest friends disappoint me, as has been made evident in this bridesmaid drama that I’ve been pulled into in the last day. I told him that no one is perfect — we’re all going to piss each other off at some point the longer we are friends and the closer we become. That’s just the way it is. It’s like with family, who are “supposed” to be the closest people to you who love you. Part of the reason most of us have a love-hate relationship with our family is because we know each other so well, and when we know each other well, there will always be things we strongly dislike about the other. Spouses drive each other crazy, significant others do, etc. It’s just the way things are. His response to this was that he named two close female friends. Then he said, “In the ten plus years we’ve been friends, I could never honestly say that either of them has ‘grated on my nerves.'” He then suggested I open myself up to making new close female friends and stop dealing with the ones I have grating on my nerves. If I was that dismissive, I’d have no one left in my life.

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