Chris said that once we were safely out of the first trimester that he’d share with his parents and brother. It’s actually a really funny thing — watching him get squirmish and telling his parents because he knows his mother has had this top of mind basically since the day of our wedding, and he always likes to keep people, especially his own parents, guessing. His mother has given some not-so-subtle hints, even point blank asking me in December 2019 if the dismal and sexist work situation in the U.S. for tech companies was the reason we were “holding off on a starting a family.” She even texted me out of the blue in May of last year to ask if we were “trying for baby feet” given that work travel would no longer be an obstacle given no travel period was happening, so we’d always be together during my ovulation window. While I was really hoping to get pregnant in 2020, alas, it just wasn’t our time unfortunately. But… better late than never!
Chris is not super in touch with his emotions and doesn’t like to show them outwardly very much. So he literally just blurted out, after I nudged him to share with his family on our video chat tonight, “She’s pregnant.” And of course, all three of his family members were super thrilled, and you could see it in their faces and hear it in their voices. While they were getting all excited, Chris remained half smiling and relatively straight faced. I’m not really sure sometimes how Chris is related to his family given they are all so expressive and he’s so… “I smile on the inside.”
Chris’s brother commented that he had suspected I was pregnant a few weeks ago when he saw one of my Instagram stories and noticed that I looked “rounder” than usual, but he didn’t want to say anything in case I actually wasn’t. And his mom said that she suspected I was pregnant after this past weekend, when I posted a story while wearing a striped dress, and I also looked rounder in my midsection. Chris insists that they were both crazy and wrong, and that his mom was seeing what she wanted to see, but either way, maybe I am actually rounder no matter what I wear, and I’m just the one who cannot tell.
So, the circle of people who know about my pregnancy is slowly growing. It feels a little liberating to be sharing the news, but at the same time, I still feel very guarded because we have no idea if this is really going to all work out. But all I can do is live my life, hope for the best, exercise, and take care of my body, and the rest is just up to luck and whatever higher power exists.