While Chris and I have seen quite a lot of comedy shows while in New York, we’ve never seen any performing arts shows while we’ve been in Melbourne together until tonight. He got us tickets to see Wankernomics, a male duo of comedians, James Schloeffel and Charles Firth, who “unlock the secrets to workplace success through the ancient art of being an annoying wanker.” It’s geared towards anyone who has semi-recently or is currently working in a corporate office setting and has to regularly hear obnoxious but ubiquitous terms like “circle back” or “stakeholder engagement/management.” That… is pretty much my life.

Here is an example of “advice” they have given for speech at work:

Don’t say: “Sorry, I don’t have even the most basic grasp of what this project is about.”

Instead, you should say: “Let’s circle back once we’ve got more visibility.”

For Chris, it’s easy for him to laugh at these things because he’s no longer doing full-time work. For me, it’s part laugh-out-loud, part hard smile, and part painful cringe because pretty much everything they make fun of is a thousand percent true. It doesn’t matter what part of the world you work in; the chances are high that you deal with this kind of thing every single day in some shape or form. The part of the show that definitely made me feel ill was when James and Charles talked about “company values” and basically how they are all the same across any company, and are pretty much a gathering of “bullshittery” to make everyone feel holier than thou and good about what they are wasting their time doing every single day.

Corporate work life: you can’t live with it, but you can’t really live without it.