I am still pumping three times a day. Even during this trip, I haven’t skipped a pump. I pumped at the Charlotte AA airport lounge, on the plane from Charlotte to Munich, at the hotel restaurant during breakfast, at the hotel lounge, and of course, in our hotel room. Yesterday night, I even pumped on the train from Salzburg back to Munich; I just wouldn’t wash my parts in the train bathroom because I knew it would be absolutely filthy.

The love/hate relationship I’ve had with pumping has been ongoing. It made me sad to wean down from 4 to 3 pumps per day, but at the same time, I felt more liberated and like I wasn’t totally chained to the breast pump anymore. It’s annoyed me to have every single meal at the hotel, whether it’s breakfast or dinner, with the pump connected to my nipples. I envy Chris being able to walk in and out of the restaurant without his nipples connected to anything, to feed Kaia food without being constrained by a nipple sucking device. But it’s a choice I made that I stand by and live with. It’s an inconvenience, an annoyance. But it’s given my baby fuel to grow and thrive. And that still makes me happy, even when she is now having significantly more solids and far less breast milk. And while I do not love to pump, I pump because I love. And I am still grateful to my Spectra pump for providing me technology to feed my baby when she was unable to breastfeed directly from my breast. I still pump because I love.