A friend I made a few years ago while walking at the AFSP Out of the Darkness annual walk has been going through some rough times. Earlier this year, she had some conflicts at work, which eventually led to her getting fired in February. It sounded like there may have been some legal action taking place, but she said that due to the nature of the litigation, she wasn’t able to share what was going on, so I never asked any questions and didn’t want to pry. It really wasn’t my place anyway, but I told her if she ever wanted to talk, I’d be open. Since I found out, I’ve only seen her twice. The last time was for a lunch to celebrate her belated birthday, and that was while I was still on maternity leave. Since then, I haven’t seen her a single time. I know she is struggling and that interviewing isn’t going well. We were supposed to meet up for a coffee/tea break and walk in early June, but just a couple hours before we were scheduled to meet, she cancelled on me without giving any reason. I told her she should take time to herself, but that I was here for her if she needed.
Well, last week, I realized it had been over a month since I last texted her. So I messaged her and didn’t get a response. I dropped a few additional texts, and still nothing. I tried calling five times, and each time, I was sent directly to voice mail. I left one voice message. Then, I went to her Facebook page and saw that it was down.
A feeling of worry came over me. I immediately Googled her to see if I could find out anything but didn’t. It’s hard for me not to be concerned, especially after we met at a suicide prevention walk, and I know she’s had addiction problems in the past. And to make things worse, this week is the anniversary of Ed’s passing. So suicide and mental health are very much top of mind for me in particular this week.
The best case scenario here is that she’s just not ready to talk and is just shutting everyone out temporarily. I could accept that and give her space. The worst case scenario, which I hope isn’t true, is that she’s done something to herself. I can’t shake thinking about it.