When a baby is born, within the first 24 hours, she will typically lose up to 10 percent of her body weight (due to water), and this is considered normal. Kaia lost about 7 percent of her weight at discharge, so all looked pretty good. However, babies are also supposed to regain that weight within the first two weeks of life. We had our follow-up pediatrician appointment today, just about a week after her birth, where we found out that not only did she not even begin to regain her weight, but she pretty much had totally flatlined… meaning she was not eating enough.

What could be wrong? I thought to myself. She’s clearly not eating enough, which means she’s not getting enough milk from my breasts. Is something wrong with my supply? Why is there something wrong with my milk supply if supply is the issue; I’m a new mom. Isn’t it basically supposed to be gushing in now? Does she need more formula?

Pediatrician appointments in the first few months of a baby’s life basically feel like a scorecard for you as a parent: you are essentially getting judged on how well you are raising and growing your child whether you like it or are aware of it or not. I felt pretty shitty leaving this appointment, thinking I was starving my child without even being aware of it, and now I need to be more open to giving her formula whether I like it or not. Because.. this isn’t just about me, right? Her health is of the utmost concern, and she needs to grow to be healthy and get stronger.