Hovering mother and outdated parenting best practices

My mom has been ecstatic ever since Kaia was born, but what that has also meant is that she is also trying to call 3-4 times every single day, which has driven me crazy and also meant that I now just have to ignore most of her calls. She was so happy when I called from the hospital last Friday to let her know Kaia was born that she cried happy tears; my mom NEVER cries happy tears.

Given she was a parent of a previous generation, obviously parenting “best practices” were very different then vs. now. So of course, she has something critical to say about literally every photo I send:

“Why are you wrapping her so tight (referring to her swaddle)? She will suffocate and won’t be able to breathe!”

“Why is her chest exposed (break from skin to skin)? She will catch a cold and get sick!”

“Why doesn’t she have any blankets in her bed (bassinet)? Give her some blankets for sleeping! Why don’t you have any blankets for her?? You should at LEAST cover her feet!”

Trying to explain to my mom that “rules” have changed for how to take care of a baby is completely futile because she will always insist that she is right, has more experience, and has more wisdom. Let’s just ignore that one of her children is now dead. Of course, she fought with me on all my rebuttal points for the above inane comments, and I just shut her down by telling her that I don’t have time to listen to her outdated criticisms. I am this child’s mom and I will parent as I see fit. And part of that means making sure the baby has safe sleep and does NOT have blankets in her sleep space.

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