I think in our time together as a couple, Chris and I have really only made one net-new couple friend in New York City, and we just happened to meet one half of this couple during my friend’s nonprofit food tour last year. I feel this way about individual friends, but couple friends are even harder because all four people need to get along to a certain degree, and that makes it even harder to make the relationship sticky and to continue to want to see each other and spend time with each other. We had them over for dinner tonight, and we talked about everything from family to travel to our futures. When we are with them, something happens that rarely happens when four people are all together who are parts of couples: we all listened as one person spoke at a time, and few side conversations happened. That almost never happens with my other friends and their partners, and it’s probably because someone’s conversation is going to bore the other. It was so refreshing, and I relished every second of it. It didn’t feel like we were at war to be heard because everyone just wanted to listen to each other. It was like a utopian conversation.

It’s so nice to feel like people actually want to listen to what you say and respect what you have said.