I used to get told all the time that if I waited until I got a little bit older (say, late twenties, early thirties) to get married that I wouldn’t have to worry so much about my friends being able to afford coming to my wedding. The logic here is that we’d all have paid off most of our college debt if we had any, and if we work, we’d have climbed the ladder a bit by now and have higher salaries. Inevitably no matter where the wedding was, a decent handful of people would need to travel, and that of course would affect my friends, who are all around my age.
Well, why am I at that stage of life now and I don’t feel any relief in this area, and instead I feel more guilt?
Two out of my three bridesmaids do not have stable, “career” type jobs. One even said to me after I got engaged and asked her to be my bridesmaid, “Please don’t make me go all over the world for your wedding activities.” I know how stressful it can be to be a maid-of-honor since I was one a few years ago, but I looked at the travel opportunities for the weddings and parties as more excuses for me to travel and see more places of the world. The other thing is that I know I have sacrificed and done a lot for my close friends so that they wouldn’t see it as such a “weight” on them to have to travel or do anything for my wedding. Aren’t they supposed to be happy and excited for me for this occasion? Or is everything even remotely out of their comfort zone just seen as a massive inconvenience or over-expense?