Phone dependent

In a rush to get to the gym on time this morning, I left my phone sitting on the counter much to my irritation. On the train ride to the gym, I wanted to do everything from read e-mails I’d downloaded, listen to Edge of Eternity via Audible, and even check my work schedule to see what was on my agenda today, but I couldn’t do any of it because it was all on my phone. Then, I thought about my personal to-do list I made for this week. I couldn’t access that, either, because that was in the Notes app on my phone. I felt so useless without my phone and as though I was just standing mindlessly on the train, waiting to reach my destination without anything to accomplish. I hate feeling inefficient. That’s one of the worst feelings to me — feeling like I am useless and getting absolutely nothing done.

This is the trouble about living in a modern society with the privilege of having a mobile phone. We become phone dependent; everything is on this freaking device. I used to write tons of post-it notes for everything as reminders when I was on the go; in an effort to save trees and contribute less waste to a city like New York that doesn’t recycle, I stopped doing this and now write everything in my Notes app. Even little things like phone numbers, which in the past we used to memorize for our family and closest friends, we don’t do anymore. Chris and I have been together almost three years now; I don’t think I actually remembered his phone number fully by heart until after a year and a half. I still don’t think he even remembers mine.

At work today, I actually felt a bit liberated without my phone. I didn’t have anything to check or buzz at my desk, and it felt kind of nice after a while to think that I didn’t have to think about my phone or its existence until I got home. I didn’t expect that to happen, but it did. Granted, I was in front of my laptop about 90 percent of today, but having a mobile phone is so much different. It’s like you are married to the damn thing even when you don’t want to be.

Maybe I should use today’s experience as a lesson to be less attached to my phone this year and not to check it several hundred times a day the way the average person does now.

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