Tonight, I had dinner with a former colleague friend and enjoyed lamb cheeks and lamb tagine at an Egyptian restaurant in Astoria. We exchange stories about our crazy friends and their crazy lives, among other things, but apparently, I win the award for having friends with the most dramatic and problem-filled lives. “Can you please stop talking about (insert name of friend)?” he said. “I don’t think I can handle hearing this anymore!” He then adds, “I need to introduce you to some of my friends.”
I would like to make new friends, but these Meetups haven’t really been working out the best, and given recent events in my life, my genuine drive to socialize and meet people is a bit low. He asked me why I am still friends with X, Y, and Z friend given their life decisions because they would be deal breakers for him.
Well, I suppose it isn’t as simple as I’d like it to be. I’ve disagreed with a lot of the decisions (or lack of decisions) that my friends have made over the years, and occasionally (to them, it seems like constantly) I tell them what I think in my own way, which of course, they don’t respond well to. We generally never respond well to anyone who descents from what we believe is the right decision for us, but I still think it’s an important thing to do. There’s no way we could always agree. And that’s also why we have different friends and not just one; when one drives us crazy because of one thing, you still have another friend who can fill that void for you.
I’m lucky I have multiple friends who I can rely on for different things, and they are people I can call close friends. It makes me sad when I think of people who just have a lot of acquaintance-type friends that they can’t lean on for anything other than grabbing dinner or a drink together. And then that reminds me of how bad I always felt that Ed never really had anyone he could call a real friend.
I hope he’s made lots of friends in heaven. Then when I join him one day, we can share friends and all laugh together.