Today, we flew into Milwaukee for the weekend to explore Wisconsin for the first time. Of course, Bart came with us (he especially liked the antelope sausage starter we had at a gastropub tonight). During the evening, we were walking by the river in the Historic Third Ward and taking pictures, and I stopped when I saw a dad playing with his young sons and snapping photos of them playing and being silly. The boys were constantly smiling, laughing, and joking around together, and they just looked so innocent and unknowing of all the bad in the world. In that moment, I felt so lonely and sad.
Ed was once like that – carefree, full of smiles and laughter – just the way every little boy should be. Every now and then when I would come home, I used to look specifically at baby albums of Ed’s and just wish that he could get back some of that joy he had when he was little. And now that he is gone, the photos I have are all I really have left of him. Forever in my head, I will remember him as being 33. I looked at photos of him and compared them from 2004, 2007, 2008, 2011, and 2012, and he looks virtually the same in every shot. It’s like my brother didn’t know how to age because he was that innocent and pure. He is ageless now. I can’t believe that we aren’t going to grow old together.