A world without my brother

Although Ed was seven years older than me, for the longest time during our adult lives, I always kind of saw him as a pseudo younger brother. Part of that is because of his naivete with always trusting people who did not deserve his trust; the other part of it was that of the two of us, I was always much stronger and more confident than he was. Despite our physical distance, I felt the need to take care of him, lead the way for him, give him lots of gifts and money to show I loved him. Now that he has been taken away from me, it’s hard to imagine life without him. It’s so painful to think of the future – things like going through my future wedding day, getting pregnant, and giving birth to his future nephew and niece – without him being there by my side. He was one of the most supportive people in my life, and now I’ll never be able to speak to him again.

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