I originally told myself that when Kaia turned 11 months, which is literally in 4 days, I would officially drop down to 3 pumps per day. But given that I have been doing 3 pumps per day each Saturday we’ve been going out, I figured… what difference is it really going to make, anyway, if I start it just a few days earlier? It means one less set of washing pump parts; one less hour connected to a pump, 10 less minutes connecting and disconnecting, more time to myself to do whatever else I need or want to do. Today was the second day in a row of 3 pumps per day, and it felt so weird. On days when I am not out and am home or just working from home, my pumping schedule will be something like 7:30/2:30/9-9:30, but on days when I am out, I will need to push the second pump probably closer to the last pump of the day. Today, I did my second pump at 2:30, and it just felt a little odd: I can’t remember the last time I felt so liberated, not pumping and not feeling the time pressure to pump or get something done before pumping. Every Saturday and Sunday felt like a time crunch to pump and get something done before or after, and today, for the very first time ever, I did not have that feeling. It felt weird.

It’ll probably take me some time to get used to it, and for now, it feels nice to have such big pump outputs in my three pumps a day. But I know at some point, my body will get the signal that I’m pumping less frequently because I am getting closer to weaning since my baby needs less breast milk, and so that amount will eventually start dropping off. It will likely be a little emotional, especially since I worked so hard to get my output up in the beginning. I’m just mentally trying to prepare myself for that drop off and my eventual weaning off of pumping and providing my baby breast milk. It’s likely the most intense journey I’ve ever been on outside of trying to conceive, getting and staying pregnant, and labor and birth. My body has done Kaia and me a lot of good, and I am blessed and grateful for it.