I made my first trip to Lenox Hill Hospital this afternoon with Chris. We went up to the second floor, where the maternal fetal medicine and OB-GYN ultrasound unit was. As Chris commented, it was a pretty dreary experience entering the hospital, from going past security and getting a ‘visitor’ pass to being in the cramped and small waiting area of the ultrasound unit. He was banished from the main waiting area and told to wait on the first floor because of COVID, so I could tell he was already unhappy with the experience here. I had no idea what to expect; when I made the appointment, they just told me that I’d be allowed “one support person.”

When I was called in for my ultrasound, a friendly sonographer named Vera greeted me and showed me into my room, and Chris was called to join. Vera began the ultrasound over my belly, and immediately we could see our little baby on the screen. For the very first time, our little baby was looking… like a real baby. The image of her was so bright and vivid that you could even clearly see her little heart beating like crazy! Her fetal heart rate was 166, which she said was right on track, and she was measuring well for her age, as well. Surprisingly, we could even see 3D images of the baby, of course nestled in fetal position, in some pictures covering her eyes and others exposing them. I can’t quite make out fingers and toes, but you can definitely see little feet and hands at this stage. I looked at the screen in total awe: this is our baby, I thought, our little pookie-kin, our tiny survivor. When Vera changed the imaging to 2D, we could even see the baby’s little feet kicking like crazy almost nonstop! Because of this, Vera called her “the little dancer.” Because she is still so small, the size of a lime this week, I still can’t feel her, but I was told I should be able to feel fetal movement around 17-22 weeks.

I felt so lucky lying there on the exam table, having this cold gel rubbed all over for this sonogram. I kept looking over the sonogram images that Vera printed for us in awe as I waited for the doctor to go over all the results and next steps with me. I still can’t believe I’ve made it this far. I feel so grateful, and while I still have a little worry over this not lasting, I feel more happy and content with this than before. Soon, fingers crossed, I’ll be able to say farewell to the first trimester and try to enjoy the next phase, the second trimester, and watch the evolution of my body to accommodate my growing little one.