I’ve lost count of the number of “phases” that Kaia has gone through. She’s currently in a lot of different phases, including constantly asking who bought or made what item she owns, loving “pretending” or imaginative play, and inserting “actually” into almost all her sentences. She loves to look at pictures of food or other people eating, then pretend to grab said food and start munching away on it. She also loves to share all the junky food that her classmates at school like to eat, and then she shares her opinion of said food (e.g. “Bobby really likes chips, but I actually like lollipops more.” This statement is also coming from a child who has never had a real lollipop before, but hey, who is keeping track?).

A regular bedtime routine we have is that once we tuck her in, Kaia likes to ask either for a band-aid or an ice pack. Chris realized how obsessed she was with band-aids, and he also realized how unsustainable that would be (read; expensive!!) for these branded Bluey and Paw Patrol band-aids he had bought. So somehow, he managed to procure a pack of a THOUSAND band-aids, of various designs and colors, just to indulge our child a bit. She insists on opening the band-aid, peeling each piece off carefully and handing it to me, then selecting the special part of her body where it will go (it’s usually somewhere on her arm, leg, or knee). Then, I kiss her good night, and she passes out within ten to fifteen minutes.

I’m still in shock that she is turning four in just a few days. Sometimes, it feels like just yesterday when I was waddling around this apartment and New York, about to give birth to her any day four years ago. I loved every moment of being pregnant, even when I was dealing with sciatica, even when I had to pee almost every hour, and even when doctors were trying to freak me out about potentially inducing me early. And as I think about the last four years, sometimes I just cannot believe how lucky Chris and I got with her. Kaia is this super vivacious, rambunctious, curious, sweet, loving child, and she is truly all ours. I never thought my heart could expand as much as it has over these last four-plus years (including pregnancy, of course).

While Chris and I were drinking hot chocolate yesterday evening out of the Christmas market mugs we’d brought back from Vienna and Basel during previous European Thanksgiving trips, Kaia noticed that Chris’s mug was shaped like a boot while mine was shaped like a heart. She loved both designs, and declared multiple times, “I am Daddy’s boot. I am Mummy’s heart!”

I smiled so hard at that. “Yes, Pookie,” I responded to her. “You are most definitely mumma’s heart.”