It is often said that parents, when they become grandparents, become totally different in the way they interact with their grandchildren. In the handful of Asian mom groups I am in on Facebook, it’s a common experience shared that when we were children, our parents were extremely strict, never said “I love you” or expressed any type of loving emotion towards us to our faces. Yet when they interact with our children, who are their grandchildren, they suddenly become super affectionate and actually start saying “I love you” directly to them.

My parents have become obsessed with Kaia, constantly demanding photos and videos as though that’s all I spend my days and nights doing. My mom finally got the hint that I was no longer going to answer the phone when she called 4-5 times per day, so she’s laid off and occasionally calls and sends a text message. But when I don’t send a photo or video for a day, she immediately gets worried and just jumps to the conclusion that something is wrong, which is really annoying. My dad would email me (because that’s how he likes to communicate with his only living child) and ask if everything is all right, and to please send photos.

On the one hand, it is cute. On the other hand, I do not exist solely to send photos and videos of their grandchild to them. I have to actually… TAKE CARE OF and raise this child, and it’s not a hobby. It is my responsibility, and I am not going to just send photos and videos at their beck and call.