I was at my OB’s office yesterday for my 38-week appointment, where we did a high level ultrasound and she informed me that the baby’s head is very low in my pelvis.
“That means that she’s ready!” my doctor exclaimed, smiling wide and getting excited. “I estimate that based on her position, she could really come anytime in the next week. You have our emergency number on your phone, right?”
Anytime in the next week? WHAT? I was both filled with excitement and terror all at once. Pookie Bear is ready to come out and discover the world? I guess I really shouldn’t have been surprised given that I’m already at 38 weeks, and babies being born about a week or so early is pretty normal and healthy since it’s not like they have a calendar that says, “it’s 40 weeks — time to GET OUT!”
So what did I do, the crazy overdrive person who can’t keep still and is obsessed with productivity? On the way home, I stopped by Whole Foods and purchased a 3-lb container of rolled oats to start making lactation cookie dough balls to get ready for the freezer. I already picked up ground flaxseed and brewer’s yeast the week before, so I had all the core ingredients to make up the “lactation” part of this cookie dough.
I told Chris about what the doctor said, and today, I knew he was on edge regardless of whether he’s willing to admit it. He insisted we organize a lot of the baby items in the second bedroom and start taking things out of the boxes that we were gifted from the baby registry. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal, and I also knew it wouldn’t take that much time, but he snapped at me when I said it wasn’t a big deal and that he could take care of a lot of it.
“What if you go into labor tonight or tomorrow?” he snapped. “Then I have to do all this myself! I don’t know what’s in all these boxes!”
Well… the box that says “changing pad” — that has a changing pad in it? None of this is that complicated. He didn’t appreciate my comments and insisted we do this at this second. So we did it all this evening, and it took probably less than 30 minutes. There’s really not THAT much baby stuff, and I don’t think he realizes that because pre-baby, this bedroom was empty, hollow, and had a big echo. There’s not much of an echo anymore, though.
But this is what Chris is like when he gets anxious, and he feels like he’s not in control. I married a loving control freak who wants to be in control of literally everything, and he hates surprises. The second he feels like he’s out of control, he reacts by being a bit short fused and snappy. So I expected this from him at some point.
I don’t think there’s a newborn out there that allows his/her parents to be in control. And that’s what he and I will need to get used to — not feeling like we’re in control at all and just going with the flow of what the baby wants and needs.