Yesterday afternoon, my parents and I went to the Columbarium to visit Ed. It’s part of my routine when I come home, as I try to go to the Columbarium and see Ed each visit. Part of it is to remember and acknowledge him and his life, what he meant to me and what I am trying to live for each day. The other part of it is to reflect on life on this earth and to prove to him what this life is supposed to be about.
A depressing reality of coming back to the Columbarium each visit is that more and more of the niches are reserved and filled. More people are dying and being laid to rest. More lives are coming to an end, whether long or short. But this visit, one particular niche in the Hall of Olympians caught my eye: it was that of a little infant boy who died. No details were in the niche, but it was clear he died as an infant and had an outpouring of love and longing from his parents and and family. All these little tokens of the baby were scattered al over the inside of the niche. This child’s niche was the same size as Ed’s.
I stared at this niche for what felt like a short eternity. My eyes welled up, and my vision blurred. The thought that a life could be cut that short just made me short of breath for a bit. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain and suffering this little baby boy’s parents were going through, but just seeing this made me feel all choked up. All I could think about was a deep abyss of hurt.
It’s a shattering thought to think that innocent little babies like this one and people who had so much good to give the world like my brother had their lives cut short, yet there are so many truly terrible, hateful people who continue to live their lives every single day. Then, there are those who are wasting their lives away, doing tasks and actions that have zero meaning or future positive impact on the world, and they get to continue their lives as though they can just do whatever dull, superficial, or pathetic thing they want to do. The mere thought of this made me see red everywhere.
How does anyone ever really come to realize what they are supposed to contribute to this life, to this world?