Coming back to the city after days spent hiking with views of endless mountains and the fresh smell of trees and clean air is always a bit of an adjustment. The smell of hiking in Banff kind of stayed with me, and even on the flight back to New York City, I was thinking about how incredible the scents were there. It seemed like every few minutes during a walk or a hike up a switchback that I was inhaling some beautiful, clean and new scent.

This morning on my way to work, it was brutally hot and humid, and it was only 9 am. On the walk to the train, I could smell the lovely New York garbage smell wafting towards me. Clearly on 78th street where I usually turn off, it was rubbish collection day, and so the entire street was lined with endless large black bags filled with trash. What a contrast to the smells I was trying to remember and savor.

Tonight after catching on The Daily Show, I spent the evening researching hikes we could potentially do with my parents when we are back in the Bay Area for Labor Day weekend. Mount Tamalpais State Park and Point Reyes National Seashore are just over the Golden Gate Bridge, which means they are just an hour away for us to hike and smell fresh, crisp air again. Now, my only challenges are a) finding hikes that are not too strenuous (these have the potential of having my mother squat on a rock and refuse to continue onward), and b) grappling with the fact that in order to get to these places, I need to get over my anxiety of crossing the Golden Gate Bridge once again.

But I guess we need to face our fears to continue living, so I just have to be strong and think positively about the memories of Ed and the fact that I know he wouldn’t want me to cry.