Tonight, I met up with my friend who is visiting from Seattle for work, and we caught up over patacons (Venezuelan plantain sandwiches) and Morgenstern’s ice cream in the Lower East Side. We spent about three hours together, yet it didn’t feel like enough time. I only really get to see her once or twice a year when she’s in town visiting family or coming for work.

While we talked about everything from my wedding in March to her potentially staying in Seattle to our dysfunctional families, I realized that even though I’ve known her for only a relatively short time, somehow, we probably get along and understand each other better than some of my long time friends. Why would this be the case? Maybe it’s because with friends you’ve had for a long time, they have a perception of what you were when you were really close and in proximity, and they want to hold onto those perceptions even after you’ve evolved over time and changed a lot. Sometimes, we don’t always accept change as much as we think we will; it’s just part of humans being creatures of habit.

I suppose the other aspect is that maybe we should accept that we may not always be able to understand those we once considered closest to us, and that they may not be able or even want to understand us and why we live our lives the way we do. We use excuses like not enough time, distance, but part of that is also just lack of desire. That is just life constantly moving and willing to leave you behind.