Round table

I saw Ed again in my dream last night. We were sitting in a brightly lit conference room once again at a round table, and this time, Crista was there with us. I’m sitting across the table, Crista on my left side and Ed on my right. Crista has no idea that Ed is there in the room with us, but Ed knows that Crista is there. “She doesn’t know I’m here,” he says, with a devious smile on his face. “She can’t see me!” I tell Crista that Ed is sitting at the table with us, and she looks at the table and then around the room and is confused. She says to me that she doesn’t see him and insinuates that she thinks I am hallucinating. I insist to her that he is there, but she just can’t see him because he won’t reveal himself to her. She gives me The Look that says I’m crazy, and she carries on with our conversation. Ed sits at the table patiently, listening, waiting for Crista to stop talking so he can speak directly to me.

The last time I saw Ed at a round conference room table, my therapist was there. This time, Crista is there with us. When my therapist was there, we all knew everyone else was in the room, but this time, Ed is hiding from Crista. I’m not sure what to make of this, but I think there’s something to be said that Ed wants discussed.

And now as I am writing this out, I am remembering that I started crying at some point in that room with both of them. It hits me that Ed’s presence in the room is only temporary, and that I will never see him in human form ever again. Whenever I see him, it will only be for a few moments, and then he will disappear and reappear in the rarest times. He will never be in the flesh again.

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