My friend and I went to a wedding gown sample sale down in SoHo today, and I knew I was not going to enjoy my time much there when I arrived half an hour before they opened, and I ended up being person #29 there. Yes, 28 people got there before me, and I was half an hour early. The doors were going to open in 31 minutes. It was mostly women in there, of course, with one dopey groom and one man who seemed to be one of the bride’s best friends. It didn’t help when I closed the door behind me, and a woman lightly told me that the end of the line (it looked like a mass crowd to me) was that way.

I tried on three dresses when I was in there, only one of which could have potentially been a dress I’d seriously consider, and the other two were more, “Well, I’m here, so what the hell?” try-ons. Then my friend noticed the damages to these “sample sale” dresses. Even if they were “discounted,” after alterations, they’d probably cost as much a brand new dress. So we left the dresses with the sales assistants, who immediately “released” the dresses to the other bridal vultures.

The wedding industry is really out to get me. Maybe I really should have just bought a dress while I was out in San Francisco. New York may be a worse place to buy a gown because of the insane hoards and the sky-high rent.