My mother is so excited I’m going to have a bridal shower. I think from the sound of her voice, she actually seems more excited about the bridal shower than she did about our engagement or even the freaking wedding.

Today, when I called her, she started rattling off all these names of Jehovah’s Witness friends she wants to invite to the bridal shower. “What?” I said. “Who are these people?”

“You’ve met (fill in random name) before,” Mom said. “It was a few years ago, so you probably don’t remember.”

“I don’t want random strangers at my bridal shower!” I exclaimed. “I want people I actually know and care about there!” (And frankly, that list is quite short).

She said I should do what I want, but she just had some suggestions for people who would make the event “more fun.” Why do I doubt that her people would make my bridal shower more fun? I reminded her that when you invite someone to your bridal shower, that usually means you must invite them to the wedding. Her response (seems to be common now): “Just because you invite people to your wedding doesn’t mean that they will come.”

Great.