Today, we spent our first full day in Queenstown jet boating, canyon swinging, and hiking on two very steep trails, the Queenstown Hill trail and the Skyline trail that goes up to the gondola. It was an action packed day, and the entire time, I was constantly being overwhelmed by all the natural beauty that this country has. How is it even possible that any country in the world could be this awe-inspiring? It’s no wonder Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit were shot here.

During our canyon swing, which is a 60-meter free fall and a 200-meter swing, I stalled a lot during the first jump I did individually when I was looking down at the canyon and the water below me. It was so high up, and the thought that any malfunction could happen immediately made me think, if this harness isn’t working, I could die. Right now. In the minutes before jumping, I thought about Ed and what he felt like before he jumped. Was he calm? Was he committed to ending his life? Did he close his eyes right before he climbed over and jumped off? Did he fall at the same exact speed I did? What did he see last before he blacked out and left this world that we once shared? It’s the other sinking feeling I had when I jumped – the first time and the second time.