Another doctor’s visit with Ed there

So it looks like one of the “fibrous bundles” that my gynecologist found was just a little cyst. All I have to say is – visiting the radiologist’s office is like a nightmare up until the point that the doctor walks in after her assistant does your ultrasound, and she tells you, “Hi, I’m Dr. X. You’re just fine! Just thought I’d get that out of the way now since that’s what people seem to want to know right away!”

When I was lying on the table watching Natalie take my ultrasound, I felt tiny pangs of panic and despair come over me when I saw all these different colors on the screen as she ran her device over me. I obviously have no medical training, so I’d know nothing about anything on the screen, but I do know what “red” color tends to mean, and I did see some red on my left side.

I guess I won’t be seeing Ed anytime soon in the next life. He probably doesn’t want to see me this soon, anyway. But I had the feeling that from the moment I entered the office to the second I found out I was fine that his spirit was there with me, trying to ease my worries and calm me down. He was a worrywart himself, but when he’d see me worry, he would always absolutely hate it. It’s just the kind of person he was – and who he still is, somewhere up there.

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