Since I graduated from high school in June 2004, I’ve had the same glass framed photo of my brother and me from that day in every room I’ve slept in – all four dorm rooms in college, my Elmhurst apartment, and now my apartment on the Upper East Side in Manhattan. In the photo, we are happily posing together, just the two of us, in our San Francisco dining room, right behind some of the graduation flowers I was given. I am wearing the orchid lei that my uncle had shipped fresh from Hawaii that morning, and my brother is smiling proudly without his glasses. I always told him he looked better without glasses on. Back then, Ed was as stable as he could have been, working at Macy’s, going to Kenpo karate three times a week in the sunset. I never would have thought that less than ten years later, he’d no longer be in my life. I miss Ed. Sometimes, I really just can’t believe that he isn’t here anymore.