Squashed curiosity

According to many studies done, the average human being has anywhere from 500 to 700 different strong abilities and skills. So although when you ask most people what their strengths are, and they only name maybe three or four, they are actually being quite modest. Either that, or many of their potential skills have yet to be discovered. The saddest part about that is for those who never realize their talents and abilities, and they remain dormant the rest of their lives. They die, and they lived an entire life not being aware of their hidden gifts.

I think in many ways, that was my brother. Because he had to endure a lot of harsh treatment everywhere from a very young age both at home and at school, his curiosity for life was squashed, which resulted in him never really wanting to explore the areas outside of where he was familiar. All little children are innately born curious; they want to smell, touch, see, and taste everything and anything they can get their little hands on. But once you start reinforcing in them that they should be denied things or criticize them every time they stumble and fall, that curiosity gradually gets chipped away until there could possibly be no more.

I’m honestly terrified of having kids. I’m scared that one day, though I am conscious of all the things I abhor about the way we were raised and want to put a stop to the negative cycle, that subconsciously it will start creeping out in the form of mothering my own children. All I wanted was for my brother to be happy, and I failed. What if I end up failing with my own future kids, too?


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